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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask tenants to move before or after new baby?

319 replies

CatWithAPetDog · 30/05/2026 15:09

We are landlords and have a property that our son would like to move into at some point in the next year. Our current tenants have a toddler and have just told me that they are expecting another baby in November.

If you were the tenant, would you prefer to have to move out whilst pregnant or with a young baby. I know it’s not great timing for them either way, but which would you say would be easier? We can wait a while as long as my son is moved in this time next year, but then they would have a toddler and six month old baby, so it may be easier to do it sooner with just a toddler?

They’ve been good tenants so I would like to cause them the least stress possible.

Sorry forgot to make boring make sense

YABU - Get them to move before the new baby arrives

YANBU - Get them to move after the new baby arrives

OP posts:
WineandMe · 31/05/2026 16:36

Why cant OPs son move into a different house. Why does the current tenant have to move out to accommodate their son.

narnia2025 · 31/05/2026 16:23

igelkott2026 · 31/05/2026 16:13

Why on earth would he do that when his parents own a house he can use?

Honestly MNers are on another planet at times.

because her son should stand on his own two feet. The whole thing about raising children is about raising them to be independent, resilient and kind people. How is ops son gonna understand the privilege of owning his own home if he didn’t have to work for it. How is he gonna understand the importance of saving and working towards a goal if his mum is their handing him everything on a platter.

i do think I wasn’t the kindest in my replies yesterday and could have worded it all better but honestly regardless of it working out in for the family. I do think the op should think about getting her son to pay rent at a minimum.

CatWithAPetDog · 31/05/2026 16:19

igelkott2026 · 31/05/2026 16:12

This is a ridiculous post. Are you really saying that the OP should tell her son to move somewhere else, rather than moving into a house s/he owns? That IS getting on the property ladder!

Family come first. Glad you have it all sorted, OP.

Thank you. 😊

OP posts:
CatWithAPetDog · 31/05/2026 16:18

YourShyLion · 31/05/2026 16:13

.

Edited

Lots of reasons but I don’t think any explanation is needed other than we own the house and he is our son.

The tenants would have had 12 months to find another property if needed. If you read all my posts, you’ll see that I have spoken to them and they had decided to move anyway to be closer to family. They will likely be moving soon and they’re happy.

OP posts:
Bigcat25 · 31/05/2026 16:16

Let them know and let them decide, rather than assuming what's best for them.

igelkott2026 · 31/05/2026 16:13

YourShyLion · 31/05/2026 16:13

.

Edited

Why on earth would he do that when his parents own a house he can use?

Honestly MNers are on another planet at times.

igelkott2026 · 31/05/2026 16:13

Those of you getting emotional about families who have to rent should save your ire for all the second home owners, not landlords who actually do provide houses for residential use. And the OP's son has to live somewhere too.

YourShyLion · 31/05/2026 16:13

.

igelkott2026 · 31/05/2026 16:12

Easterchicken · 31/05/2026 15:57

Wow

Making a young family homeless because your son can't be arsed to get himself on the property ladder

There's alot of things I'd LIKE to do but can't .. maybe your son needs a reality check

This is a ridiculous post. Are you really saying that the OP should tell her son to move somewhere else, rather than moving into a house s/he owns? That IS getting on the property ladder!

Family come first. Glad you have it all sorted, OP.

CatWithAPetDog · 31/05/2026 15:59

EmbarrassedMum1 · 31/05/2026 15:54

Personally think you should talk to the family. She could have a high risk pregnancy or complications.

I'm due late September and lots of medical issues and specialist care, moving for me would be impossible right now and much rather do it with a new baby if I had to. Or they may rather do it ASAP, best to explain to them and see what they say.

I have talked to them and wrote an update yesterday. All is good.

OP posts:
Easterchicken · 31/05/2026 15:57

Wow

Making a young family homeless because your son can't be arsed to get himself on the property ladder

There's alot of things I'd LIKE to do but can't .. maybe your son needs a reality check

EmbarrassedMum1 · 31/05/2026 15:54

Personally think you should talk to the family. She could have a high risk pregnancy or complications.

I'm due late September and lots of medical issues and specialist care, moving for me would be impossible right now and much rather do it with a new baby if I had to. Or they may rather do it ASAP, best to explain to them and see what they say.

Noodles1234 · 31/05/2026 15:49

I would tell them now and say you will give them 12 months notice. Trying to pack whilst pregnant is not easy, I think I’d prefer 6 month old baby and mive although neither are ideal. If early stages they might be proactive although rental market in many areas is not good.

caringcarer · 30/05/2026 22:09

mumofoneAloneandwell · 30/05/2026 15:54

Abolish landlords.

Where would all the renter's live then?

caringcarer · 30/05/2026 21:41

narnia2025 · 30/05/2026 16:56

Not everyone can get a guarantor.

maybe I am more emotive about this but I don’t think people realise how difficult it is at the moment to find a house to rent. Even for people with decent earnings and good references there is still a chnace you are gonna to be competing with another 4 or 5 family’s for that one property: to chuck a family out just so a child can leave in house a for free just seems wrong.

If you can't get a guarantor you can get guarantor insurance instead.

narnia2025 · 30/05/2026 21:07

Dollysleftnip · 30/05/2026 21:00

I didn’t need to my ex-husband owned a house.
I would not have allowed him to fertilise me if he had not married me and owned a house.

Edited

Where did you live while
you were saving for the deposit with your kids?

Dollysleftnip · 30/05/2026 21:02

YourPoliteTurtle · 30/05/2026 21:00

well, people have made solutions work for them.

No one has to listen or do the same, but they can't complain if they can't reach the same goal when they don't make the same choice.

Precisely

YourPoliteTurtle · 30/05/2026 21:00

Dollysleftnip · 30/05/2026 20:57

As I said
A problem for every solution 🥱

well, people have made solutions work for them.

No one has to listen or do the same, but they can't complain if they can't reach the same goal when they don't make the same choice.

Dollysleftnip · 30/05/2026 21:00

T1mesAreHardForDreamers · 30/05/2026 20:58

Well you literally said it in your reply to me when I mentioned thar statistically many families are now stuck in private renting.

You yourself have said you didn't buy until 46.

The fact is not everyone will be buying a home before having a family as it won't be feasible for them. This will always be the case for some. We should have secure housing as a base for everyone and it should be considered a priority. It's so lovely that you were able to buy your house eventually, but just because you did it doesnt mean everyone can. It's perfectly reasonable to think it should be a societal priority for people to have stable homes to act as secure bases for health, wellbeing and employment.

I didn’t need to my ex-husband owned a house.
I would not have allowed him to fertilise me if he had not married me and owned a house.

T1mesAreHardForDreamers · 30/05/2026 20:58

Dollysleftnip · 30/05/2026 20:52

I dont believe that all.
You cannot avoid the fact that children need stability and the best way to ensure that is to own your own home.
Thats it.

Well you literally said it in your reply to me when I mentioned thar statistically many families are now stuck in private renting.

You yourself have said you didn't buy until 46.

The fact is not everyone will be buying a home before having a family as it won't be feasible for them. This will always be the case for some. We should have secure housing as a base for everyone and it should be considered a priority. It's so lovely that you were able to buy your house eventually, but just because you did it doesnt mean everyone can. It's perfectly reasonable to think it should be a societal priority for people to have stable homes to act as secure bases for health, wellbeing and employment.

Dollysleftnip · 30/05/2026 20:57

narnia2025 · 30/05/2026 20:50

you are being so simplistic.

it sometimes feels like no one on Mumsnet lives in the real world.

As I said
A problem for every solution 🥱

Dollysleftnip · 30/05/2026 20:53

narnia2025 · 30/05/2026 20:52

So you had kids before you owned a house

😂😂

Yes.
Hence im speaking from experience
However I didnt rent.
Ex husband owned it

Seriously12 · 30/05/2026 20:53

I would give them as much notice as possible and be accomodating if they find somewhere quickly.

Dollysleftnip · 30/05/2026 20:52

T1mesAreHardForDreamers · 30/05/2026 20:51

Rather than professional poor you come across as the meme about Conservative middle class people telling millenials they'd be able to afford buying a house if they stopped eating avocado toast 😬

I know you think you have the right answer, but your answer to very real current issues is "oh if they had been taught at school to buy a house wouldn't be in this situation". It's just silly.

I dont believe that all.
You cannot avoid the fact that children need stability and the best way to ensure that is to own your own home.
Thats it.

narnia2025 · 30/05/2026 20:52

Dollysleftnip · 30/05/2026 20:51

46
No
Saved £60,000 alone whilst raising 4 children due to divorce - having spunked £50,000 on legal fees fighting to keep them.
First house was a three bed, needed - still dont have a 5 bed but we’ll get there
Warwickshire

So you had kids before you owned a house

😂😂