AIBU to expect my husband to stay after an emergency caesarean?

OP with the strength, wisdom and resilience you are demonstrating at 23 I've no doubt you will be a fantastic mum who will create a beautiful life for you and your child. You have a lot to look forward to.

This difficult time is just that, a moment in time and there is a light at the end of it. Keep going, keep strong, keep fighting, stay honest and he will eventually trip himself up over his own ego. You really have got this ❤️

The police have to follow up their allegations even if they know it's nonsense. They will be able to see from the messages that it's your (soon to be ex) husband and his mother who are the problem.

Just to say I scanned this thread and was so impressed by your strength. Because of you taking action, your little one won't grow up thinking this is normal. They'll know they're safe and warm and loved by you. How incredible a gift to give to someone. Well done on breaking cycles for your boy. ❤️

I know how hard it can be when a barage of negativity is coming your way. If you can write down a short paragraph on what you want for your son and you, put it with a picture of the two of you together, and when ever your brain feels loud center yourself with that?

Not the brightest is he?!

And lets face it, even if it was true and she had stolen money and she was abusive and he isnt the father of the baby then none of that would be the justification for harassment he seems to think it is. He is fucked and he knows it but people like them cannot stand being called out on their shitty behaviour so they have to retaliate.

The police will know that it is not true. This will not be the first time that an abuser has made counter allegations to try and save their own neck, my ex did it to me and I know of several others on MN alone.

Its interesting that the nice members of the family say that this is what the MIL does.....shout and scream and make threats and has been doing this for years. She is still doing it, so it seems to me that this is the first time her, or any of them have been held accountable. I wonder if no one else called them out for fear of her making good on her threats, or to "keep the peace" (!).

He and his toxic mother also threatened to get custody of the baby that he is now saying isn't his.

Everything that he says is a lie and he will be found out. He will just make things worse for himself.

Dont open messages from him. Ask FM or other trusted person to deal with them for you. You dont need to see them.

Exactly, he's a total clown.

OP, keep everything him and his family/friends have been sending you for evidence of harassment.

I'm sorry you're going through this, stay strong ❤️

Oh let them collect evidence. What evidence lol. What a joke these two are. This will add to your case once the police find no harassment from you.
they are trying to unsettle you op. Let your FM deal with the texts if she is able to.

I have literally just learnt that I can switch my phone off🤯. Maybe let FM read messages once a day and filter for you if anything needs to be actioned. That way they can huff and puff but you will protect your mental health. Just a thought.

They will be able to see that but they do have to take all things seriously.

Funny how he wanted a welfare check on his baby who he now claims isn’t his.

This will all add to your case.

I think the bullshit needs to be on record. It might come in useful later on.

@RudaRudoRude

Brava!!! You are doing so well!

Giving the baby names you love and are meaningful to you is an important gesture to yourself. It says that you are going to carve an independent path and make your own decisions.

I'll bet your FD was chuffed that you used his names for the baby.

Have you tried blocking them all on your phone? If that wasn't working I agree with getting a burner to use for support sources. And perhaps having FD or FM 'screening' your phone for messages, emails, and texts before you use it. They can just delete the bullshit so you only see what you need to see.

Thanks for replying. You're doing so well!

So sorry to hear you've both been ill - last thing you need. Keep going - if it feels overwhelming at times, just focus on getting through the next day or hour. It will get easier!

You are doing amazing. One step at a time. Keep a record of this and they all need a restraining order. Your incredible Foster family- they are a godsend.
A shit man always has a shit mother behind him. Proved yet again.

He's accusing you of an affair?
I think you should prepare yourself for the possibility he is having one.

Pleased to hear you are getting lots of real life support @RudaRudoRude

Thanks for the update OP. Good to hear you are safe. X

Oh a good idea. Leave all the toxic stuff on the old phone and number.

@RudaRudoRude

Thank you for the update! Hope you and little one feel better soon.

You really are handling this with such maturity and level headedness!!

You are doing fantastically!

could you ask your friends if anyone has an old phone then you could keep that one for any necessary contact with your ex but have a new number for contact with people who are helping?

You are doing so well @RudaRudoRude! Particularly given that both you and the baby have been ill (hope you're feeling better soon).

You really should be so proud of yourself. You're so young, have been through so much, but are sorting out a good life for your son. Many, many older women would have coped with the awfulness of this situation less well.

Hopefully the maturity with which you've coped with this all will give you a bit more confidence in yourself. You're absolutely brilliant!

You are doing everything right @RudaRudoRude Well done and well done to your Foster Parents who are absolute stars.