AIBU to be annoyed about MIL coming to toddler class?

Oh yes I’d be fuming. Putting up with them for the sake of family time is all very well, but this your special outing with DS. Find another class/activity and tell NOONE.

I do feel for you OP. My MIL and SIL were constantly together, and if I was on my own with DS and met them they would be all through his pram, commenting on things to each other, and I often felt like saying ‘I’ll just leave you two to it with my baby, shall I?’ It was very clear they were happy to see DS, but would have preferred if I wasn’t there. It’s very frustrating. They didn’t behave like that if DH was there.

I used to get upset about it, but looking back 32 years later if I were you I’d just find another class and enjoy your DS.

In your place I would find another class

But OP is spending £50 a month to do an activity she wants to do with her child.

I'd not be paying £50 so a difficult MIL can play with my toddler and ignore me.

It wouldn't bother me. I'd be glad if somebody took over. But if you're not happy that's fine. Just go on a different day.,

Same here - I have DS26 and GF, no DGC, and I can see how wrong this is.

I’m not saying my PIL got everything right - who does?- and I had concerns about their views on car seats and the placing of hot drinks on low tables, but they never tried to claim they could look after our DC better than we could, nor did they try to claim them by saying they only looked like their side of the family. I can remember MIL handing one of them back to me saying ‘he wants his mum’, or similar, meant entirely positively.

I had similar problems with my sil and mil but As you say it’s nice that they mix, and it’s a time to bond with them. So why not stick with it but also find another time or place to go with your child alone without them. There will come a time when things will change as they get older and you’ll look back on these days and be glad that they had this chance to form relationships.

another thing to try is to sit next to mil so you can intercept the cuddling and her taking over in a purposeful but discrete way, can you try and be more in the centre of the action ?

maybe the OP would like to spend time with HER child? Some of us really enjoyed the early years?

MIL had several kids, she had a chance, can't she let her mum having her time?
If parents go to toddlers class instead of putting their kids in a nursery for a few hours, it's because they also want to be there?

He obviously likes them and feels comfortable with them. The more people who love a child the better.
Why not do what PPs say and drop him off with them and go and have a coffee and a mooch

Yes, she’s the ‘treat’ person who he sees less often; you’re the most familiar person who he can safely turn his back on!!! That can get to you - but it’s normal.

What isn’t normal is how MIL is behaving.

I think the OP is saying her child goes and sits with MIL, and the SIL, MIL and toddlers then carry on as if OP wasn’t there/they don’t interact or engage with her.

Let it be for this term then try a new activity next term with extended family and also enjoy one-to-to-one with your child doing something else. Could you try non-fee-based activities like going to a park with your toddler and his grandma and save the money for you and DH to spend on a fun activity with your child when he’s
home? from your child’s point of view they love and cherish time with each of you

That really is infuriating! And I’m a MIL (no GC yet though).

Some people are so insensitive and self absorbed. They like to show off how popular they are no matter how much they upset other people. She’s had her chance of being a mum and while I disagree with the extreme MN approach of not letting a MIL anywhere near her GC she should also not take over. It’s very rude and hurtful.

TBH it would make me not want to invite her. I never get in the way between my son and his girlfriend and if anything encourage them to prioritise each other and I would certainly adopt the same approach with any GC. It’s lovely to be included but it doesn’t mean you can overstep.

I really don’t understand why your MIL and SIL attending a class where you also attend would mean they are excluding you? It sounds more like they want to do things with you.

They’re not going to change so you have two choices. Stay, and put up with it, or move to another class. I’d do the latter.

I'd just start going to something else. It's a good time, with the hot weather. You can just go to the park / beach / a lake etc. Very good excuse!

I have elements of YANBU and YABU here - I'll explain why.

YANBU for feeling out out that the activity you enjoyed with DS is being completely taken over by SIL and MIL and you're losing this time with DS.

However, you're blaming MIL for two issues - being there and your DS making a beeline for her. Now, I'm not saying that she doesn't encourage DS to choose her over you, some MIL are like that, but even then it's not all on her. However, it would seem like it is SIL who has crashed your party and brought MIL along for the ride - that isn't necessarily to intrude on your time (although I don't know them obviously) but to try and have some of the joy you're having. I really feel like the squeaky wheel in the machine here is SIL.

For ease though, I would pick another group/day/time etc and keep it to yourself

You can accept what they are like, i.e. you know that they won't change, but you don't have to pander to them and let them have their own way.

Just take your son to a different toddler class. Your DH is fine with what's currently happening because it's his mum and his sister. I bet he would be less accepting if your mum and your sister were deliberately taking over and pushing him out when he was looking after his child.

They are being very unfair and your DH is tolerating this and telling you not to rock the boat.

Move to a different class. Don’t tell them
why or when/what this class is. None of their business.

Well, that's the thing, there isn't a happy medium.
The OP is left like a spare part at the toddler class - she said that.

I can't see how they can push you out of playing and doing the activity with your own child?

Just keep being involved and doing it in the same way you would if MIL was just another random parent/carer.

I think by leaving you'd be spiting yourself as you like the group. And so does your kid. But surely there's a happy medium between your MIL and SIL taking over everything and you and your child playing completely separately.

In some ways, I think it’s a shame - granny wants to play /see their grandchild

Is it like Messy Play or something? Can you not all do it together?

If you really feel you can’t then you need to go to a class in her hometown or you find one differently.

just don’t tell her that you’re going.

I find it kind of sad that you can’t the three of you all get on and the two cousins play together, especially if they get older

Presuming that you do find a different toddler class.......

When they ask why you were are not at the original class, you could give them the name of a different toddler class that you are not attending at all.
Send them on a wild goose chase.
Torture and wasting their time is the way to go, I think.

It's funny that it's YOUR child your MIL spends time with ,not her own daughter. She knows what she is doing.

Honestly, the only and easiest way is to change the class. Little kids grow up so fast, it's your time you are missing. Don't overthink, don't go into an argument, change class and if they ask, say you have a different schedule and don't commit to a fixed class.

Oh heavens no. Fastest route to you becoming the villain of the piece. Don't tell them anything.