AIBU to be annoyed about MIL coming to toddler class?

I can understand how hurtful this is.
as everyone says, find another class

I’d speak to the group leader. The place would be packed if everyone brought a plus one along. The whole point is for you to bond with your child! Not MIL the space invader 🤯 If they were to invoke a one adult per child policy, that would solve your issue. I’d be open and say you were quitting otherwise.

not sure why anyone would be pleased to be stuck with in-laws respecting no boundaries, it's hardly a gift!

My MIL was a bit like yours sounds, she went completely gaga over her grandchildren and was obsessed with them (until they turned about 5 and then she calmed down). I had to work hard to keep my boundaries in place.

My SIL also had her youngest around the same time I had my eldest, luckily she’s a sensible woman and doesn’t live very close to us, so this situation couldn’t have arisen for us, but we spent a lot of weekends together at my MIL’s insistence. I often felt as though I was only there as the babymaker. However one thing I will say now is that my eldest and his cousin are very very good mates, the sort that will be there for each other through thick and thin, and as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t think that would have happened without my pushy MIL.

Or you could just be pleased your child has lovely relationships with his extended family? Just a thought.

Id be glad he loves his granny snd aunt

maybe suggest you stay at home and she gives you a break

and find another binding sess for you - swimming would be a good one ?

I dont really understand why MIL is coming along either. Its useful to have another pair of hands if you're trying to do a class with twins or a baby and toddler but this sounds like a structured 1:1 type class so i'd be irritated by this situation too. My sister and I both attended Monkey Music in the same location for a short while with our eldest children (we live in different villages but the timing worked) and neither of us felt the need to take mum along.
My mum and mil did childcare for us when I went back to work PT and I loved it if mum took DS to a toddler group in her village or in-laws took both DS to the zoo but on my days off classes were for me and DS.
I think this class 'no longer fits your schedule' and would look for the same one in a different location/different time.

It's not fair but I would find another class

Choose a different class Op. I adore my classes with DS and wouldn’t want anyone (my own mum included despite the fact I see her most days) encroaching on that. They’re little for such a short time it’s understandable you want some time for you and DS to enjoy. You shouldn’t have to change classes, but it’s the best way to avoid resentment building up.

There is not a single class I go to where it’s a two adult situation as a matter of course. Find one where only one adult is permitted per child and then the problem goes away.

I'd tell my MIL it's such a shame but I can't afford the class anymore. She might then offer to pay so you won't mind going along and not seeing your baby so much - and they get to see the baby too.

I'd then sign up to a class just for me and keep quiet about it!

A lesson I learnt the hard way was to keep my mouth shut about what clubs I took my dcs to. As I found IL's turned up and after the first 2 clubs I kept quiet after that.

There was lots on offer in my area but they only went to things I mentioned in conversation (I wasnt thinking they'd show up, in some cases I gave very brief details and they still showed up!)

I felt it changed the vibe for me as one IL in particular made it clear she didnt like me, which was even odder, she'd come but not talk to me? Like why bother attending?

I'd find somewhere new to attend and dont mention any specifics, deflect the topic whenever it arisies in conversation.

Why does mil even go? Does anyone else take their mum with them to these classes?

id speak to the group organiser and explain that it’s quite off putting and distracting for your child because mil is there and you are going to find a new class to go to. She may make the class one adult per child only.

I just don’t understand the benefit of mil being there .

I agree with others - go to a different place and don't tell them where you're going to. They're definitely side-lining you - it's not fair.

I would find another class/session. I get it, it’s your thing you want to do with your child and you’re getting sidelined. I wouldn’t like that either.

Sounds like MiL has nothing better to do. Shouldn’t she be playing boules or going to the local WI? 🤣

and I’m ending up being the spare part while MIL & SIL participate in the class with DS and DN.

she's not participating with DN, is she. It's only the OP who is being left on the side.

MIL is spoiling the class, OP should just find another one, with no drama.

Brilliant 🤣

I would cut my losses and stop attending the classes. Absolutely unacceptable to be excluding you!

@TheThursdayClub you need to train your disloyal sociable DS in the same way I train my disobedient spirited spaniel. A tube of squeezy cheese/chocolate buttons/pom bears in the pocket that you slip to him after giving a code word. He’ll begin to associate code word with treats and will run to you when he hears it. I suggest your MILs name so as you say through gritted teeth “oh hello Doris!” your adoring son rushes straight to you not her 😬🤣

I would definitely move to another class. If you don’t want to explain this then book another class that falls around the same time and then move this current class to another day. I do get you that they are encroaching on your time. your mil should be steering your ds back to you- if she was a good Mil.

How is she spoiling it. She’s just going. It’s the kid makes a beeline and tantrums when she tries fk take him back. It’s hardly like the mil is grabbing him and keeping him,

How are you being managed out,you say your son makes a beeline and tantrums if you try to take him back so seem to be blaming your mil for being there, like it’s malicious. It doesn’t appear she’s taking him and not letting you have a look in.

It's very important for children to have quality time with their mum, it's also about him.

He can have just as much fun in another class, shame MIL is spoiling that moment for them.

It really depends on whether DS enjoys the present setting. To whip him out because of the MIL seems like an over reaction. It's about him, not you

I'd definetly find another class ( and don't tell them where it is )