AIBU to be annoyed about MIL coming to toddler class?

But it isn’t bonding time for the op, is it?

Some people on here have no comprehension skills.

you are being sensitive and i feel that there is another dynamic that the mother sister and your husband have a emeshment issue and you feel a bit like a outsider. your son is going to your mother in law as its his nanny but understandably you feel upset as you want quality bonding time with your son without them. so the only answer is to change class time or find a completely new group. they will ask why you are not attending.so you can lie or be truthful good luck

I’d definitely join another group, what about mum and baby swimming classes or something , say you fancied a change.

I’d be very matter of fact about it and socially polite so she can’t have a go, so I’d say I can only afford the one class and it was time I loved spending with ds, but while it’s great ds loves you, once you came too it meant I didn’t get that time with ds. It would be fine if I could just afford a second but I can’t so I’ve changed classes <do not say where> I’m sorry it means I miss out on catching up with you and sil! Maybe there’s something free we can all do together?

Yes, I'd use the time to bond with both of them. It is good for you to have support-there will come a time you'll need help-and it's great for your kid to have a close family.

OP has also said that that they weren’t welcoming during 10 years of her dating her DH and that they caused drama around the wedding so it doesn’t sound like it’s as simple as just getting on with them. The stress of unpleasant in-laws leaves its mark, unfortunately.

Sounds like you have a much larger issue than a baby class tbh

But you said you are not doing it with him because MIL takes over. So if you're not spending time with him then just go to a different class.

Find another class or date, must be so frustrating

What a deeply unpleasant thing to say. Are you familiar with toddlers at all?

The wee one is not running to granny to get away from op or because of anything op is going wrong. They are seeing someone they see weekly and it's a novelty. What an appalling thing to say.

I think op it's unfortunately just not going to work. I'd quietly start going to another class and not let on to them about it. You could do it as well as this one if you wanted but honestly I'd hate sitting like the spare part every week so I would not be paying for that privilege.

That's a really horrible thing to say. Why do you think that OP isn't warm? MIL and SIL certainly aren't kind or welcoming to OP.

Its your baby that makes a beeline for mil and sil. He is the one betraying you here. LTB (at home?💁)

no advice. my mil sometimes joined me and I loved that for my first born. My second missed out due to covid. so obviously its about the preexisting relationship with mil and sil, and am sad for you. You should be enjoying this very short time not spending it in resentment. Can yo join thm when ds gies to them? otherwise you either have to ask them to fnd an alt (they will likely refuse and it will heighten the tensions) or you have to find alternatives since you are the one bothered.

I don't get it unfortunately... I would love my mil to come to toddler classes and my children loving being with her but she lives too far away sadly. Don't you want close relationships for your child with grannies and cousins? At the end of the day she will never manage to push you out because it's your child and your child will love you more than anything so I would just relax and enjoy it. In fact let her take him and go have some peace or book another class for you and your son doing something else too?

YABU. Why describe DS as 'disloyal' when he wants to see his grandma? This is not a competition. Your are his mum, but don't forget he has other blood relatives. You can tell by the way you write just how precious you are 'my wedding' 'my son' - neither of which you would have without your husband.

Good grief.
Have a chat with MIL! She’s overstepping and needs to be (gently) reigned in. Do it or she’ll do this for the next 16 years!
“Hey MiL it’s great we can all do this as a family, but I would like to spend some of it with little Oscar! Let’s share hey?! Now shall we have a coffee?”.

There is being blunt and then there is being nasty!

Were not brought up with manners ? Or told that if you have nothing nice to say keep your mouth shut?

Op, not quite the same issue however my disloyal toddler makes a bee line for anyone but me! So I am at the classes whilst she is happily entertaining other mums and kids!

I was concerned about this so I asked her paediatrician if she doesn’t like me! And he thought it was funny!

not sure how to handle the in law situation but don’t stop going just because disloyal youngster wants to hang out with his granny and aunty/cousin- it’s a case of putting his needs likes/needs first. He knows who he is mum is! I get mama all day - even cheekily says it for no reason so I come running and she just smiles - treat them mean keep them keen and all that!

You mean her grandchild who the baby is willingly heading towards?

Mother in laws can never win on hear. If she sent DS back to you, you would be complaining that she’s only interested in SILs child and not yours. What is this an hour a week? You get to be with him the other 23 hours of that day and 24 hours the other 6 days. Sit back and enjoy seeing your DS happily spending time with his grandmother, then join another class that’s just the two of you if you want to.

Why not let them take him to this one so he bond with his cousin and you find another group to go to with him. There are usually lots of free ones in on church halls.

@CurlewKate the OP says the MIL hasn’t been welcoming to her, not sure I would want to sit next to someone like that.

Also OP maybe trying to make friends with some of the other mums there and have them separate from her in-laws

OP is perfectly fine. You know who isn’t warm and connecting? People that act like arseholes and dress it up as being “blunt”.