AIBU to think my small family doesn't need a bigger house?

As the child who grew up in the box room..it would have been really nice to have had a double bed, ensuite and space like my friends had in their houses. As a teenager it was also hard to.not have anywhere to go other than my tiny bedroom to chill..it meant sleeping and studying and chilling in one very very small room. It was fine and I was fine but it didn't mean I got all the other things you mentioned as I got older because..the economy. If you are happy where you are and give your child space when they're older then stay put ☺️

So your friends comments might be true. I’m a single parent and we live in a small 3 bed terrace built 1900. Actually some of the houses on our street are 2 beds and the same size. We basically have an extra wall making a tiny 3rd bedroom. We have a largish lounge and a kitchen diner you walk through to get to the lounge.

My kids are now teens. My youngest is very social me and is out with friends alot but doesn’t seem keen to bring them back to mine. She had a small double bed and desk and space but can’t really fit more than a couple of friends in her room so when they have come round they’ve taken up the lounge. My eldest can’t fit anyone else in her room unless the both sat next to each other on the bed, it’s so tiny.

My youngest in particular complains alot that we don’t have a garden and don’t really have space for all her friends to hang out. Having one loo is a particular issue. We live in the cheaper end of our town and most of her school friends live in the new build end of town where they have bigger rooms, extra bathrooms and gardens. She has another group of friends who live in the next town which is actually less desirable than ours but they live again on a new build estate, detached with loads of space, garden etc to hang out.

I am also mortgage free (because a parent died and my share paid my mortgage) however my salary would be be enough to sell my house and upgrade. I’ve looked. My house is only with around £100m max. Even smaller 3 bed semis are nearly 3 times that now in our area and we are quite a musical household so would need to be detached and that’s just way out of our league. I do dream though. I keep looking at shared ownership but they don’t come up very often.

Your house sounds fine but it's completely different having a teenager at home compared to a toddler. You'll be very glad of extra space then! Of course it's nice for them to have their friends around and it's equally nice not to have to share that space with a bunch of kids.

Also, you'll presumably move at some point in the future if your daughter goes off to uni or comes home to visit and needs a double bed. Why not do it now so that you have the benefits of a bigger house throughout her childhood?

It doesn't have to be now or never. I had a small 2 bed flat until dc was 9 but it was enough space for us and the area was ok. I could work part time and we still did holidays, short breaks etc while building up equity. I've now moved to a 3 bed house in a better catchment area thinking ahead to teenage years and wanting dc to have space for friends over and now having a spare room/study space is great.

We could have bought a bigger house but haven't as we'd rather spend the money on holidays. We also valued the security that if one of us lost our job we'd be ok. It's also meant I could go part time and pick the kids up at 3pm each day.
Some people will judge you though unfortunately. I've heard a 9 year old discussing Egyptian cotton sheets.
The teenage years could also be an issue as you'd rather your DD to be home than rooming the streets. We've combatted this by giving our DD the biggest bedroom so she can have lots of friends over. Our DS only has a little bedroom though so we hope in the next couple of years to build a garden room that he can hang out in.

Don't live your life to impress others. Stay where you are.

I think part of what you need to weigh into the decision making, is whether you live life indoors or out and about.
Is your family life more about staying in, TV, indoor hobbies, relaxing, or more about going out with DD, trips, nature, holidays etc?
I guess you have a balance, but may also have a preference to one or the other. Makes sense to invest where you get the most satisfaction.
As far as DD is concerned, very few people have everything. So what she loses in entertaining space, she gains in you have more disposable income to give her experiences. Or vice versa if you move.

Ah I stand corrected - I read it as toddler and DD, I think the d-dog added to my misreading, In that case, ignore my tuppence worth.

We were in a similar position, living in a small cottage with no parking and small garden but mortgage-free. I didn’t have any intention of moving but had a windfall and we did move to a bigger house with a garden. It’s made me very happy and I wish I’d done it sooner. It’s quite surprised me. I don’t live in a huge house by any means, but kids can have a living room to themselves when having friends over. They use the garden an lot and I love looking out on it. That all being said, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you staying put and enjoying a mortgage-free life. People are very jealous when they find out you don’t have a mortgage I find. Sometimes that’s behind their encouragement of you to move! The kids never felt hard done to in our former house but we all appreciate the advantages of extra space and better outlook.

I grew up in a large house but I still didn't have a double bed, an ensuite or a climbing frame. I did have a swing tied to a tree though.

Stay where you are imo. Being mortgage free is fantastic

I stayed in a small house with my kids Didn't stop friends coming over and it was paid off by the time I was 46 so all good

And we are in catchment for good schools

Do you have room for a small summerhouse in the garden? We invested in one for a hang out for Dd and her friends, and they loved it growing up

I was going to say the exact same thing. My 2 bed terrace is now a TARDIS with a loft extension and a rear extension.
It's perfect.

Sounds as though it suits you fine for the time being so I would stay put for now. Save the money you would have spent on a mortgage in a stocks and shares ISA and then you can use it towards whatever you want / whatever’s needed at some point in the future rather than having it tied up in bricks and mortar now.

She has 1 child and they have their own room.

I think if you have money to have a house that size then you probably have enough money not to worry about heating and you would definitely have a cleaner(s)!

En-suite, trampoline, double bed - meh. No-one ever wishes they had those when they reminisce about their childhood. What may make a big difference is space to study/revise, have a bit of mental space etc. They can’t really be revising in the kitchen, dining room or in the shared bedroom. One thing if you have no choice, no funds but you do.
Your DCs are small now but when older and teens they will probably need more space - you will effectively have 4 adults in a 2bed - and probably a room each.

I have two teenagers now and we live in a smallish 3 bed house and I’d move to a bigger place in an instant if we could afford it. Dd has the box room and is sad she can’t have sleepovers - there isn’t even room for an airbed on the floor. My dp works from home and as we haven’t got a spare room/study, the dining table is permanently covered in monitor, laptop, cables etc, and in the school holidays we can’t eat off the dining table in the day as he’s in there working - we also have to be quiet/keep out of the way. My kids both spend more time at friends’ houses than here - lots of their friends have a second reception room/big kitchen-diner type arrangement where they can hang out away from parents, as well as their rooms. This is all first-world problems of course and we’re very lucky to own our own home, I know that - but honestly if we had lots of spare income then upsizing would be a no-brainer.

How small
is her room? We are in a two bed with two children so we swapped and my husband and I have the box room and our children share the large room. We rent though but if we owned it outright I’d stay put and when we had money one day maybe extend to the loft if possible .

No child "needs" an ensuite. Maybe you could think about a loft conversion if that is practical at some point. Of course you may want to move later on but your child is certainly not being deprived.

No need to move no, but houses are a good financial investment, and you might be glad of more space when DD is older. It’s totally different if you have other plans for the spare money eg private school, amazing holidays and love your little house.

We moved to a large house when DS had just turned eight. In hindsight, at 3500 sq ft it was way too big for three, although we had several cats and a dog as well. It was a renovation project and we spent years - and loads of money - doing it up to a high standard (mostly DIY, with DS joining in where possible which he loved. It's stayed with him as he's now renovating his own house beautifully).

The house was always full of his friends - the place for parties and sleepovers throughout his teens...it was lovely knowing ours was the place they all gravitated towards. We had a cellar that I helped DS convert to a little 'night club' and he had his own sitting room for watching tv/playing PlayStation games etc too.

We sold it when he was eighteen and whilst the sale enabled us to become mortgage free at under 40, we later regretted it because once DS was at university, our home was no longer the one where everyone met up. His best friend vowed he'd buy it himself one day and so did I , it held so many fond memories. It's worth upwards of £1m now, so we couldn't afford it 😭

You sound very happy/settled where you are @Izzasaurus, but I do wonder if you'll struggle once your DD is older.

Mine are teens and never will have doubled bed and two of ours share. But we can afford some amaxing holidays because we have a cheaper house

Kids dont give a toot about size of friends houses.

Id much rather have lots of savings and disposable income to do activities and be able to work less hours and do things like school pick up