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AIBU?

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AIBU to skip friends wedding

79 replies

Nettle256 · 30/05/2026 09:33

My friend is getting married in a few months in her home country. While no formal invites have been sent out yet, I have received a save the date and I am going to her bachelorette party which is relatively soon.

My issue is that the wedding is in her home country meaning I would need to take time off work, fly there and book accommodation. It is also in a fairly remote location (approx 1hour from the nearest airport) so I have no idea how I would even get to the venue/get home/find accommodation close by which is causing me some stress. I would be going by myself as no plus one.

In don't really know/ am not friends with anyone else going to the wedding apart from the MOH. Myself and the bride are only really friends through the MOH.

I am torn over whether to suck it up and just go to the wedding or not go. I know that the bride would be livid if I didn't. She is a very sensitive person and also very selfish which has been a recurring theme throughout our few years of friendship. Part of what plays in my decision to not want to go is that she has made zero effort to message me/ meet up since we moved to different cities a year ago. I feel like it is a lot of effort and money to go to this wedding for someone who to be frank, makes no effort to even maintain our friendship.

AIBU to tell her I can't go to the wedding (even if I'm going to the bachelorette, which I am only going to so that I can try and meet people before the wedding?)

OP posts:
Liveafr · 30/05/2026 09:48

Is the wedding taking place in a country that you would otherwise like to visit? Could you make it into a vacation? If yes, I would make the effort, otherwise no

SnappyUmberLion · 30/05/2026 09:47

You're seriously asking if you need to attend the wedding of a 'friend' who you describe as "very selfish", and who has made no effort to contact you or maintain your friendship over the past few years? Come on now, this isn't difficult.

SilverPink · 30/05/2026 09:45

I’d give it a miss. She doesn’t sound like much of a friend in all honesty. Also, you say you’re only really friends through the MOH, so she’s more of a friend of a friend?

Somethingbland · 30/05/2026 09:44

I think you would be entirely justified in not going to the wedding..

I think given the logistics of you actually getting to the wedding any reasonable bride would be understanding of you not going. If she would be livid then it doesn't sound as if there is much friendship in her attitude to you anyway. Will it be a great loss if your friendship ends over you not going to the wedding?

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