Called DP a disrespectful **** in front of our friends

Unless you do like a finger up the jacksy I would have assumed it was banter between people who know each other well. If my husband said that we'd probably all fall around laughing, because it would very obviously be a joke. Calling him a c* was a complete overreaction.

Op hasn’t come back since yesterday morning so she’s probably sitting back enjoying this

Dunno. Isn't this only an issue if its true?
If I were the friend I would 100% assume that the boyfriend had made a badly chosen joke to carry on the theme. I would no way have thought it was true, until OP reacted.

YANBU- Clearly it pissed you off, it is rude! Even as a joke it crossed a line. I know couples who overshare and would not have a care in the world over something like this, I would be really annoyed! For the record, if I’m really annoyed, I throw the C out there too!

This is the most disgusting thing I ve heard all day; I know we live in a progressive society bit this has no place at the dinner table, no matter who's sat there. This would be emotional betrayal if you're in love with that person and have given them nothing but kindness. Maybe he's priming you for some even worse conversations in the future. I would be getting my ducks in a row and saving money secretly for when or IF I bolt.

I wouldn’t be happy if my husband brought up our sex life in front of friends regardless of how close you all are that is something that should remain between the two of you should you have called him what you did I am not going to get in to that all of us are different and use language differently I think you are valid to be extremely annoyed at him for what he has said in front of friends

"typical night in the bedroom" comment = typical dry British humour, very low on the smutology scale

"finger up the Aris" comment = attempt at humour that 'misread the room' and overstepped the mark (see below too 👇)

use of the C-word = never classy, whoever uses it

** unless (and here's a radical theory), he was referring to one of the people dressed as an animal, who, in a visit to the vet, might be subjected to such an investigation, with the vet's finger (but I don't think it is this 😂)

I’m agreeing with you… I use those words and don’t find them offensive.

Why spell them deliberately wrong? There aren’t swear filters on here 😬

Its being assumed because of the coy

Not sure why you are going at me in particular - I’m not having a go at anyone, just pointing out double standards 🤷‍♀️

Oh so youre allowed to not have an issue with it, but the rest of us must go along with this double standard youre claiming 'mumsnet' has? What makes you so special? To me context is everything.

Has the comment where OP called him a cunt been deleted as I can't see it?

This conversation was always going to go wrong.

Not at all, if someone’s being one, regardless of sex, then they deserved to be called it. It’s just a word, the fact some women chose to take such offence to it is on them, get over yourselves and quit acting so hard done by bloody hell 😂 Someone says to me Stop being such a bitsh or stop being such a kunt, I take them the exact same way, they’re just words, why chose to be dramatic and offended over words?? 😂 (spelling wrong on purpose btw)

If you think it's bad calling someone a kunt to their face when they're being a kunt, you really must be OTT and take offence to pretty much anything because that's wild saying she's "just as bad". He was a mouthy twat and embarrassed her infront of friends and deserved to be called that. Stop being such a prude over a word 🙄

Deleted

Yes, I think that’s probably best.

Perhaps it is to you, and that’s fine. I didn’t have a go at you. Feel free to ignore my comments if it helps

You quoted my post and asked me directly. It was odd.

I was addressing it in general several times on this thread. I’m sorry if you feel singled out

Unless you’ve seen me personally say that, then I’m unsure of why you’re addressing this point to me

I don’t have an issue with the word as I use it plenty myself.

The point is that if a woman comes on MN and says her partner called her a cunt then apparently is a LTB situation. Double standards

Cunt is just a word 🤷🏻‍♀️ and misogyny is the reason for its fearsome reputation. I can’t get excited about it. It doesn’t kill women.

Does referring to it justify calling your partner a cunt? If so I presume it’s okay for a man to call a woman that as well

This is corrosive porn-addled horseshit that shouldn’t go unchallenged, imo. Sex that doesn’t involve choking, slapping, spitting etc is objectively better, healthier and safer than sex that does. Labelling harmful behaviour a “kink” doesn’t stop it from killing and disabling people (predominantly women, surprise surprise). No, it’s not new. Neither is domestic violence, neither is rape, neither is non-sexual choking, slapping and spitting. It was wrong 500 years ago, it was wrong in the 1960s and it’s wrong now.