To be upset about invitation

It’s got nothing to do with whether they know them, it’s a matter of a acknowledging the longterm committed relationships of your colleagues — if you’d still been unhappily married, your ex would have been invited. But they’re not going to invite someone you still may not even have slept with or know more than fairly basic things about.

I presume that the team know that they’ve been with their spouses for a long time, so felt they had to invite them.

YABU but I do find their way of doing it a bit odd.

Surely it’s either a plus 1 wedding or it’s not.
I’ve not heard of only some of the guests having a plus 1, unless the bride or groom actually know both of them.

I would expect a new boyfriend to be invited. To be honest, work colleagues don't usually invite spouses. If you feel uncomfortable, don't go. Make your excuses. Being in a managerial role is irrelevant.

YABU to expect an invite for such a new boyfriend.

But I can relate to getting sad/ awkward attending your first wedding post divorce (if I've read your posts correctly? )

Don't go if you think it'll make you feel shit. I did miss one friends wedding when I was in the throes of a horrible divorce. She understood. But you might enjoy it, especially if you know lots of other guests?

You are being utterly unreasonable to expect that the guy you’ve been dating for a few weeks will be invited to a colleague’s wedding and even more unreasonable to be “hurt and embarrassed”.

Can you actually articulate what is hurtful and embarrassing about it? Do you have such intense social anxiety that you are scared of going to a wedding on your own even though you will know all your colleagues? Do you feel single people should be embarrassed about their status?

@SummerInSun

I remember I had an open plus one at a wedding I was invited to back in 2012. I was single but I guess my friend was hopeful for me that I might meet someone haha But in the end I just came myself though even though I could’ve invited a friend.

I can’t remember if I was casually dating anyone or anything, but if I was it definitely wasn’t serious. So I didn’t see the point of just dragging along any old person to the wedding just so I am not (gasp!) going solo.

I had a plus 1 to a colleague’s wedding and my boyfriend dumped me the week before the wedding and I ended up having to explain to all my work colleagues why he wasn’t there. It was astronomically awkward. Definitely don’t take a new partner to a colleague’s wedding.

“Plus one” in the sense of “bring any other person you chose to invite” are not a thing I’ve ever come across in practice, although exist in theory. Weddings are just way too expensive to add extra numbers by letting people bring a date. Inviting a married couple or couple in a long term relationship is not letting you colleagues bring a plus one and not you, it’s a completely different thing. And I bet the bride and groom to be are desperately hoping some of the spouses skip it anyway to keep costs down! I’ve only ever been to two colleges’ weddings. Both times DH was invited; both times he stayed home with the kids and I went alone (and had a blast).

My wedding was a long time ago but can remember I only invited friends partner if in a long term relationship . It’s not that hard to understand.
i was invited to a wedding last year for friends daughter and my husband wasn’t invited because her daughter didn’t know him . All good and husband picked me up.

There will be others with solo invitations, although not necessarily in your group. Your colleagues are going, so you will know people there. Hurtful and embarrassing would have been to invite everyone else but you.

Why would you have a plus one? You’re not married or in a long term relationship. You’ve been dating a guy for 3 months. Why would they pay £2/300 for him to attend? It’s normal and expected to invite long term partners of your friend, so you suck up that cost. But they really don’t need to extend plus ones to everyone, especially those who are single. Get over it.

You're not going to get a plus one for a 12 week relationship when the others are for spouses and long-term partners.

A few months usually means 3 or 4.

You are invited solo because you are single. I’m not sure why that’s so upsetting.

You recently started seeing a man. It’s new. Despite it going well, your colleague likely doesn’t know how it’ll end up any more than you do. Your new man is a stranger almost to you as much as to them. Why would they invite him?

I will be blunt…get a grip Op. So what if you’re going solo?

It’s not even as if you don’t know anyone else there.

You’ll probably be seated next to your colleagues and can chat to them and their partners.

If you’re that bothered about it just sent a present instead and don’t go.

I wouldn’t invite a new boyfriend to a wedding either, or even a birthday bash. He could more likely turn out to be a complete weirdo than someone who’s been with their partner for a while and presumably has been to various weddings and other events with them and know their character well.

I get it, it’s hard going to things on your own when everyone is with someone else, they have a fall back and some that’s there for them.

But you either brazen it out, go and enjoy yourself, or make your excuses. Think of it like a work event.

Yes but they’re in established relationships you’ve said yourself this is a new relationship it’s a world of difference

as people have said you might have split up by then!

Personally I find it totally weird to invite people you don’t know to your wedding, I am amazed that plus 1s are still a thing tbh.

Are you actually comparing your very new relationship, which may have ended well before the wedding, to your colleagues’ longterm ones? You’re being deeply unreasonable to expect an ‘extra’ invitation.

It’s normal to not invite a brand new partner to a wedding. YABU

2? 6?