To be upset about invitation

It's completely unreasonable for you to expect a plus one for a random.

This exact thing happened to me a few years ago. I’d been with my boyfriend (now husband) for 6 months at the time of my colleague’s wedding. Her and I were very good friends, and she had met him in passing. However I was issued a solo invitation to her wedding, while all the other colleagues had their partners/husbands invited. I wasn’t bothered at all! She explained that the guest list was tight and she felt bad but had to draw a line somewhere, so her and her fiance had decided on no partners of less than a year. I was the only one affected in the colleague group, but across the whole wedding there were several people who’d had their short term or non-existent partner plus-ones cut. She sorted the table plan so I was between two colleagues, with their partners on the other side of them, so it felt less like I was an odd one out and more like we were there as a three. Once everyone was up and dancing, you’d have had no way of knowing who had a partner there anyway - most of the partners stayed sitting at the table and we all went and danced together.

That being said, if you’re really uncomfortable, then you don’t have to go.

Exactly.

But they are all LONG TERM partners. There's a big difference to your very short term date

And with respect, please don't feel uneasy about being alone. Therein lies a deep need for therapy imo

Very surprised by the comments here. When we got married, we invited my husband's colleague / friend's new partner. We didn't know her. But why would we want to make someone feel weird at our wedding? We wanted him there and partners (however recent) are part of that. They are still together 13 years later.

You should all have had a plus one invitation OR all had single invitations depending if the colleague could afford to feed 9 or 18. It's unusual not to have done that. If all of your other work colleagues turn up with their partners, you will naturally feel like the odd one out. Manager or not, I'd have a pressing engagement that day. With my partner. "Sorry, Janice. Steve booked surprise tickets for the theatre that day. Have a wonderful time."

But then the wedding of a colleague sounds like the dullest thing ever, to me so I'd be saying the same thing even if I had a plus one invitation.

Why wouldn't the op have anyone to talk too?

I'm with you on this one. I wouldn't like it either. Sign of the times I guess. How awkward not having any company to talk to. I wouldn't go... I bet they expect a present though!

Sorry but it's absolutely delulu to expect to take your boyfriend of three months with you to a colleague's wedding.

Any plus ones at my DDs wedding will be another £150 which may explain why you are invited as a single person.

Out of interest, what does your boyfriend think?

Why 2 posts about it?

A plus one for a colleague’s 3 month long partner would be quite unusual in my circles.

Everyone does things differently so while one person may have only invited the work group with no partners, your colleague may have taken a “no ring no bring” approach (but inc long term relationships). I’ve known weddings like this.

Exceptions would include if it was a close relative’s/friend’s new partner (whether or not they’ve met the bride and groom) or if the invitee didn’t know anyone else.

You’ll have the rest of the group to socialise with, so just plan it out if you’re feeling nervous (eg travel, scouting people out to talk to, loo break to refresh or going to the bar etc)

I understand why you feel like that op. You're the only one on their own and you feel different to the others. Please be assured that this doesn't make you a failiure or 'lesser' than the others, and your colleagues won't be thinking that either.

Tbh, i bet there are one or two unhappy marriges amoung them, and some might even be looking at you with envy that you're 'free and single' and at the beginning of an exciting new relationship - it's human nature to look at others and think they're the lucky one and you're the odd one out, but try not to think like that.

I went to a 50th birthday / school reunion recently. I felt like i was the only one without a husband (i've never been married, out of choice). I looked at all my old contemporaries (with their bored husbands who clearly didn't want to be there, constantly on their phones), they didn't look particularly happy for the 'benefit' of their married relationships, and they weren't getting up to dance at all. I had loads of fun though.

Please just go with your head high, beam with happiness and have a lovely time. I guarantee you many will be looking at you and thinking you're the lucky one!

I think you are being unreasonable OP. as do 96% of voters as it stands.

Weddings cost an absolutely fortune per head nowadays. Who in their right mind would invite the boyfriend of a colleague when the relationship is only three months old?

You asked the question and have had it answered in the voting.

l
I have attended many work weddings by myself and I love it .
I chat with work colleagues or with other guests . I really don’t think about it tbh

I am getting married next year and we have invited some partners we barely know - our friends are part of a group and it felt uncomfortable to invite most partners and leave a couple out. It was all or none really.

This has meant making compromises elsewhere!

You’re unreasonable to expect a plus one invitation to accommodate a 3 month relationship. That would be unusual. Go to the wedding and shave a great time.

Is the bride or groom aware?
A set number for the invite?
Just go and surely you will have a blast at the wedding.

Bit early to introduce a new bf to work colleagues. And he won’t know anyone.

Feel happy you’re invited, go alone and have fun.

What is there to be embarrassed about? I've been to several weddings alone, it didn't bother me at. It's not as though there won't be people there who you know.

Your colleague may have had to make some tough decisions to keep the guest list at a certain #? If you want to hint at the offense you could maybe address your wedding gift as from Yourself + Your Partner, but honestly you needn't be embarrassed at all, it's thoughtful of your colleague to invite you & the rest of your team, and there will be plenty of other guests there for you to socialize with, all of whom will be in various relationship statuses. Go & have fun 😺

Same

I agree with a blanket plus one invitation for work colleagues, or no plus ones for work colleagues at all.

You are free to have a 'prior commitment' and send them a lovely card.

The length of your relationship and whether it will last would be a consideration if family were inviting you, but work friends should be all of a piece imo.

I have never received a plus one invitation in my life.