To be upset about invitation

With a 3 month relationship there is a big chance you might not even be together by the time the wedding comes around!

It isn't about the fact they've not met the others spouses either, it is about the fact that those with plus-ones are with long established partners. You haven't been singled out OP, you just don't share those circumstances and what they've done is quite usual for a wedding invite, even more so given these are colleagues (rather than say, family).

I get that going to things alone isn't always fun for some people, and that for you it might be nice to be able to take the person you're dating to this but that's by the by really, you will by the sounds of it know several people there so it isn't as though you are expected to attend alone with nobody to socialise with and this is about celebrating their wedding.

If you don't want to go then make an excuse or go and leave early. No point taking any of it personally or fixating on imagined slights

So don't go. Have a lovely day out with your "partner"/ boyfriend instead.

You’re not BU to offer plus ones to all guests. I had an open plus one before.
But someone else isn’t BU either if they choose not to extend plus ones to everyone- even if they can afford it .

I’ve attended weddings on my own and enjoyed it. So you are
BU in implying you need a plus one to enjoy a wedding!

Maybe me and my friends know a lot of friendly open people but I’ve never had to go to a wedding and just sit on my own because I came by myself.

Even people who came coupled often split up and mingled seperately for a lot of the time or were happy to include anyone in their conversations.

We need to get away from thinking we can’t do anything alone or it’s “sad and awkward”

That attitude is partly why a lot of people stay in “shit” relationships.

Why? Surely they invite spouses so that the guests will enjoy the evening more, not because the bride/groom want to spend time with a random spouse. It doesn't make any difference to them, so why not (other than cost) let you bring someone. Its much nicer to have a friend with you if everyone else is coupled up. I guess it depends on how close your workmates are, and if you know their spouses.

She'll have plenty of colleagues there to talk to.

you can mingle as a single!

Never understood why partners are invited to work-related weddings. Surely it is easier to just invite the team, unless everyone knows each other already. My experience is that they are always awkward.

Weddings are very expensive, so people tend not to issue plus 1 invitations these days.
Go to the wedding OP, and have a lovely time.

@aquamariner
I'm sorry you're feeling hurt & embarrassed.

However, I think this is more about your own feelings. It's much more common these days to invite individuals rather than adding a +1 (mainly due to the expense I guess) is it making you feel like they judged you not being with your new b/f or any boyfriend by then? It's not easy to do things like weddings 'solo' when you've been married for a long time and not done them as a 'solo'

I think they should have +1 (if you want!!) your invitation if you were the only one at work really, but don't take their social jnclmotence personally! They may be inviting other friends as solos and not noticed you are the only work friend they invited solo.

it will be fine, you'll be fine. You can do this!!

I probably would give a plus one if I liked someone enough to invite them to my wedding, if I could afford it. Maybe I’m BU but I wanted people to enjoy our wedding.

There is a difference between inviting someone's long-term spouse or partner to a wedding or giving them a +1 where they could bring any old random friend.

Three months?? WTF? You barely know him yourself….

You are being unreasonable, OP. Weddings aren't cheap and unless you're loaded with money to burn, you don't issue a 'plus 1' invitation. It's not a slight and it doesn't mean your colleague likes you less than anyone else.

It doesn't matter that the partners of other team members have been invited. They've been invited because they are either married or are in a long-term, committed relationship. I don't mean to be rude but, at 3 months, you're just dating.

Aside from the fact that weddings are boring, there's nothing wrong with going solo. You need to work on being comfortable with yourself and appearing and doing things by yourself, like going to the movies, going out to dinner etc.

I don’t attend weddings if there is no plus one invite. I went to one without my partner and just felt sad and awkward all day. I didn’t enjoy it half as much without him. It’s the couple’s prerogative not to invite a plus one, and it’s your prerogative to decline politely.

I got married last year and we didn’t do generic plus ones. We friend’s partners we’d never met if they were long term but not short term as we needed a fixed guest list to budget for.

I went to 10+ weddings as a single adult before I met my husband and never had an open ended plus one so I don’t think they’re the norm nowadays?

That doesn't matter! You are being very unreasonable to expect a 3 month boyfriend to be treated the same as a long term relationship.

I would feel the same as you, but this came up in a discussion on etiquette on Radio 4 the other day and the outcome was that spouses and long-term partners should be invited, even if the bride & groom haven't met them, but not to invite a random plus one. So there you go!

Go to the wedding. Pin on a smile, be confident and style it out. It's their wedding - it's not about you. You will have your colleagues to talk to.

I bet half the invited partners wish they hadn’t been invited 🤣

Yes most of us aren’t saying it’s because they’ve not met your partner.

We are saying it’s because you’ve barely met your partner if you’ve just been with him for 3 months!

OK, I’m exaggerating a bit but the point is you don’t know him that well compared to how others know their husband or long term partners.

In my 20s I saw people got burnt a few times letting friends invite men they didnt know that well to events like big birthdays and engagement parties. Often there was some kind of mishap. It’s just not worth it.

Learn to do things alone! Go, mingle, have fun!

You can change your vote btw. Not that it’ll make much difference either way 😆the overwhelming majority voted she’s BU. It’s more or less unanimous.

I have never been given a plus 1 during a wedding. I think it is bad form. Expecting someone to sit there without anyone they know. I went to a wedding in Sept and it is fine sitting and talking to ppl on your table but as they get up and mingle then you are left having to sit there alone.

You said yourself they are all married or in LT relatio ships, whereas your new relationship is very recent. Thats why he is not invited. They've never met the guy.
We didnt invite random plus ones to our wedding, only those where we knew the partner.

yeah I was thinking this too. I wouldn’t want to invite someone to a wedding I’d just been dating for a few months, so perhaps their colleague was thinking the same and in her mind she was doing OP a favour.

Especially if the wedding is 6 months + away. I’d feel it was a bit presumptuous /risky to make plans so far in advance with a guy I’ve just started dating, while we are in the very early stages of getting to know each other!

I imagine she has been planning her guest list for a while and its likely that it was finalised before your new relationship.