To be upset about invitation

@aquamariner I can totally see where you’re coming from. It’s nice to be invited but a plus 1 at least gives you the option of bringing a friend. I think when all the other partners (who are also strangers to the wedding couple) were invited then inviting a plus 1 for you wouldn’t have hurt. Do you get on well with the colleague who’s getting married and the other people in the team? Do you feel a bit ‘on the outside looking in’ as you’re management? Regardless, I don’t see how most poster’s here are being so dramatic, they must love going to weddings on their own!

OP if you were sent a plus 1 would you bring your partner or a friend? Does your partner know about this invitation and would he have liked to go or isn’t that bothered?

You might not even be seeing him in a few months so why would they invite him? One of my close friends started seeing someone just after we had sent out the invites and as the wedding got closer she asked if he could come but we had maxed out our numbers so we said he would be welcome to the evening but we just didnt have space in the day. She was fine with that. If we were getting married now he would have been invited as they are in a long term relationship, but back then, no. I think most people understand that weddings these days are too expensive for random plus ones and only invite those in long term relationships, or in a lot of cases not at all. I really dont see why you would feel it was embarrassing though 🤷‍♀️

I agree. I never invited anyone from my workplace to my wedding (30-ish years ago.) They were workmates, not friends or family, and there were about 25 of them, so I would have had to have invited all 25. (And if what the OP is on about is to be believed, all their partners too!) 😬

If I had invited just a few (or even half) and left the others out, the ones left out would have all been offended, so it was easier to not invite anyone from work. It was a small-ish wedding anyway, with just 32 guests, so my work colleagues weren't really too bothered about not being invited.

I did have an old schoolmate write a pretty shirty letter to me though about how she was devastated to have not been invited to my wedding. She was gutted that she 'had to find out about it from someone else.' 😖

The local newspaper used to have a feature where most couples who had got married in the town were printed in the newspaper. The photographer and the couples allowed it of course... And someone who knew this old schoolmate saw it, and told her 'guess what, ZOV has got married!'

I didn't write back to her. I hadn't seen her for about 3 or 4 years, and she had had 2 engagement parties some 4-7 years earlier, (YES 2! 2 years apart,) and her 21st birthday party, and I hadn't been invited to any of them. Indeed, we weren't even close friends ... Ever. We were just made to sit together at the same desk in primary school, as all the children had to sit in alphabetical order, and we were next to one another alphabetically. This is when we were 9-10. We hardly had anything to do with each other in senior school as we were in different classes.

But she was SO upset that I hadn't invited her to my wedding! 😬

I was invited solo to a colleague's wedding and I have been married 18 years! It was fine and actually was nice to have a fun day with work mates and not have to "look after" my husband who didn't know anyone

I think ten is quite a big team! I’d have just invited the ten people tbh, not the spouses 🤣. I absolutely wouldn’t invite a new partner I’d not met.

With the expense of weddings these days I think she is being very generous inviting her whole work team.

Many people I know say 'no ring, no bring' when it comes to wedding invites and 'plus ones.' So if the the person you're inviting, isn't married or engaged to their partner, then the partner doesn't get an invite. Bit unfair on people who have been together 10+ years and aren't engaged or married, but it is what it is. To be fair, most people who have been together 10+ years are married or engaged. If they're not, then they are going to have to accept that some people won't regard their relationship to be as valid as a couple who are married. Even if the married couple have only been together 2-3 years.

You have only got together recently (I assume a few months ago) @aquamariner It's ridiculous to be upset that your new boyfriend is not invited to this wedding. Most people wouldn't invite the new boyfriend of someone, as many people need to keep the numbers down for weddings these days.

Agreed! But I think we are the outliers. Everyone who came to the daytime of our wedding got xx aww a plus one, whether they were in a relationship or not.

I think some people are being harsh on here. Plus 1s used to be common years ago when a lot of weddings were buffet type rather than sit down meals. I can understand how the OP feels if she is going to be the only work colleague without a partner there.

Also it's unusual to invite all work colleagues and spouses to the main part of the wedding.

Makes sense to be honest! I did the same for my wedding. We only had 120 guests so some group of friends from
work, I asked them not to bring plus ones. No one got offended and it was a destination wedding. Weddings are expensive so people unfortunately have to choose.

No. We wouldn’t. She is a work colleague. Not a close friend. Not family. Guest list will have been done way before she was seeing this recent man. She, along with most of the other work colleagues, will have been invited out of politeness in the first place.

Not to them!!! They are long term partners or spouses! You have known this boyfriend 5 mins! You are being completely bonkers. It costs a fortune to have people at a wedding

What is wrong with you? Are you 5? Or just an idiot.

But your bf isn't a spouse or a partner. Case closed.

All the reasons given on this thread are true, but they apply equally to people in LTRs including marriages. Cost, b&g don't know the partner, just socialise with others, can't you go anywhere alone, it will be more fun alone, the couple may break up in future. All true for everybody.

Get a grip!
The couple have to pay per person, I wouldn't pay for your oh, you're in a ew relationship, hopefully it will last, but it may not and they'd have wasted money on that person. My friend came solo to my wedding, she was in a new relationship, I invited him to the evening reception and she was fine with that

I really think it’s good form to invite an adult with the option of a plus one, but unless you or your partner are close friend or family, that can’t be expected.

YABU. At £100ph these days easy, you’ve been with him 3 months. That’s absoloutely no tome at all.

Being a colleague you’re lowest down pecking order too, so they will be saving money. Who knows if you’ll last, it’s so new?

As everyone has said, a short relationship doesn’t warrant an invite.
I don’t think I would want to go
as a plus 1 with someone I had only been dating for 3 months either.
Generally weddings are pretty boring unless you are part of the main family and friends group.
I don’t think anyone else will think
anything of it and it would be far worse if you accepted the invite and split up before the event.
Either decline or go and enjoy the company of your workmates.

YABU - spouse or long term partners only

When my husband and I got married his cousin had just got with a new fella that we hadn’t met so she didn’t get a plus 1…..they split up before our wedding!

OP, if the wedding took place a few months ago (before you had a boyfriend) would you have gone to the wedding?

If you don’t want to go alone, just politely decline asap, so they can invite someone else, and buy a decent gift. I can understand the wedding party’s thinking, it’s not personal or disrespectful OP. Spaces at weddings are finite. A colleague’s brand new bloke (3 months!) would not have priority over one of my parent’s good friends for example.

To be honest, if it was a work wedding I would prefer to go alone. My husband would be mightily relieved too!

You seem whiny and needy
You have been with him for 5 mins
I've been to plenty of weddings on my own
It's about the couple getting married and their wishes