To be upset about invitation

How have you never been to a wedding before if you're in your fifties?

I'd just not go if I was you.
Unfortunately how long a partner has been around does make a difference. As per your OP they've all been in long term relationships so it's clear they'll most likely still be together in a few months.
Your recent relationship might not even still be around then. Do they even know you are in one?

Weddings are expensive and inviting couples is the usual thing but when it's a new relationship they might not know you're in it, or the person will stick around I think it's fair to not include them that soon. These days people don't seem to invite a person with an open ended "any old plus one".

Going by the recent replies you're never going to see or comprehend the difference so don't go. You're even using the fact one is 22.. Age is irrelevant.

If it were me in a brand new relationship with something coming up he wasn't invited to and I was still in that honeymoon stage of "joined at the hip could not possibly spend one day doing something without them" then I'd just decline and say I had plans already.

OP, you need to stop talking about this around the office. Don't bring it up to anyone you work with, don't engage in anyone else's discussions about it and don't passively indulge other people stirring up drama about it. Especially since you're in a management role.

Decide whether you'll attend and socialize with your team or decline the invite - either is perfectly ok. Work through your hurt feelings and feelings about starting to attend social events post-divorce with non-work friends and/or a counselor. But do not let this become some toxic office drama that damages your team or your own reputation as a professional.

Why did you bother posting in AIBU? You clearly think you are not.

You’ve known him 5 minutes, the B&G shouldn’t have to pay for him to go. You’re with people you know. Get a grip OP.

But how long has the p/t member been with her boyfriend- long term? And the clue is in the word, husband, ie again, long term. You’ve been with your partner a matter of weeks, and he probably wasn’t on the scene when the bride was drawing up lists.

You’re being a guest-zilla.

I think you're right. Who on earth thinks it's ok to give EVEYONE ELSE in the whole organisation a plus one except you. The people on here are bonkers OP.

I'd give someone a plus one even if i knew they were single, especially if everyone else gets to take a guest.

Yes, you’ve all worked together for years so you’ve all been invited to her wedding. How lovely, that’s a lovely workplace.

And she has stuck to the usual etiquette but inviting the spouses and long term partners of those who have them, which is very generous given how much extra that will cost the couple.

You are not married nor do you have a long term partner. You don’t need a plus one to a colleagues wedding. Would be different if this was close family and you were in the top tier of guests, but you’re not.

They haven’t invited a plus one for you because a guy you’ve been dating for 3 months IS NOT YOUR LONG TERM/SERIOUS PARTNER.

Just don’t go.

But you don’t have a partner. You have a new guy you are dating. I wouldn’t invite him. I would invite long term partners.

If were my wedding, and i could afford it, everyone would get a plus 1 (and couldn't give a shit if it's their friend, cousin, husband or housemaid).

Regardless of wealth i wouldn't be arbitarily deciding who gets a plus one and who doesn't. In my experience husbands make terrible plus 1s if they don't know the couple anyway - they're always bored or miserable (just watch the faces of the husbands of your co-workers).

Jesus, you aren’t letting this go are you?

🥴

No ring, no bring is a well established concept though?

But it's irrelevant because it has no bearing on your situation.

I'm in my 50s. About 2 years after I separated from my husband, I was invited to a wedding alone. I was a bit surprised because, stupidly, I'd never even realised it was a thing! 😄 I wasn't going to know anyone else there either. I briefly considered not going but then got over myself because she'd invited me and she wanted me there so I went.

But, when I thought about it, it made perfect sense. Why would they invite and pay for someone that I might not even have been seeing by the time the wedding came around?

As for +1 invites, I wouldn't expect anyone to invite or pay for someone who hadn't even been named!

As for other partnerships, I might invite my best friend's partner of a few months but not the bloke a colleague had been seeing for a few months, no.

It also wouldn't make any difference if they were married. I've got a friend whose been with her partner for 33 years but never married. Of course I'd invite him along.

So established relationships but not someone who was only in the 'seeing' category.

I wouldn't be bothered, as I'd have all my colleagues to hang out with in the situation you outline. I think having a plus one only becomes important if you don't know anyone else at all at the wedding.

But that isn't what is happening here (you've said that your colleagues are a mixed of married and in long-term relationships), so how people would feel in a totally different scenario isn't relevant.

My best mate got married. I had been seeing a guy for 5 months going well, but she asked if I could come alone...I ended up marrying him with kids etc.... I dont resent my friend at all and understand why she didnt want to do a plus 1 for a near stranger.

Honestly, I think you could seriously freak out the person you're seeing if you suggest he is your date to a wedding! It's just too soon for this all round.

I get what you mean about a plus 1.
Others have it, why can’t you too? A plus one doesn’t have to be a spouse or long term partner, just company on the day.

Fair question and also in the knowledge that you’ll know plenty of people from work there.

I’ve gone to weddings where I have only know the bride or the groom at least four times. And another one coming up in October!

OP, if you didn't have a boyfriend would you got by yourself to the wedding? Are you undecided about not going because you don't want to alone (under any circumstances) or because your boyfriend was not invited?