the behaviour of most men

There's a fundamental difference between the man who says he loves you and the man who is stealing your wallet that some posters haven't grasped.

I'm white

If a black person tells me that they've experienced repeating patterns in mainly white spaces, I tend to believe them, yes.

Precisely

I agree with you. I'm in my 50s. The soul crushing realisation that most men turn out to be crushing disappointments came gradually through my 30s and 40s... I made a decision to remain single and not pursue relationships in my early 40s after yet another disastrous relationship with an abusive man, and although it's been very tough bringing up 2 kids who both have additional needs, I've never, ever regretted that decision.
My father WAS a good man. Kind, thoughtful, worshipped my mum and was a wonderful dad. Finding out that he wasn't representative of most men was a blow. I have many wonderful male friends and family members although my (now ex) BIL just showed us all who he really is and my sister is feeling the same as me!
I work in healthcare. I do meet good men, both colleagues and patients. I also meet many women who had appalling experiences with men but stayed because that's what society expected. Women who were abused, cheated on and generally treated appallingly but their families had- still have- no idea. The case that just jumped in to my head was a disabled woman who attended a clinic once, she was in the process of divorcing her second husband who until a few months ago had been incredible. He'd been her sole carer, done everything, all the housework, all the cooking, drove her to appointments, told her he loved her daily- everyone told her how lucky she was to find such an amazing man. And then her daughter- in her early 20s- finally told her that he'd been sexually abusing her since she'd been 12, until she left home aged 18.
I'll continue to love and respect the men in my life but I don't think I'll ever be in a relationship again. Single for 10 years now.

Were these youths men?

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.
Margaret Atwood

Plus ça change

Sure. Many years ago I was mugged by some black youths. They threatened me with a knife and stole my watch. So according to your standards and in light of my lived experience, I would be perfectly justified in saying that black people are likely to be violent criminals, right?

Or, just maybe, judging everyone who happens to be part of some arbitrary group as the same as a small proportion thereof would be pretty much the definition of bigotry.

It's not a matter of being the "thought police", it's about realising that the actions of a subset of a group does not justify making sweeping generalisations about that group as a whole.

Often ?
97% of violence is attributed to men so it isn’t happening often is it?
There’s no thought police, people can think whatever they want and they can form their own opinions based on their lived experience
Just as little children aren’t racist they aren’t sexist Either life experience changes their perception. Whether that’s valid or not is down to the individual.

OK, so as long as your bigotry doesn't often result in outright violence it's acceptable 👍

The difference is, we might all nod along in agreement and there might be a bit of eye rolling
Females don’t typically violently act upon their fantasies if they have them, which they don’t usually of harming men
We might take the piss out of them and laugh at them, for which we can expect to be justifiably murdered or harmed apparently
Huge difference in behaviour offline which is where it matters

Yup. And they get award-winning TV dramas, documentaries, newspaper columns and questions in parliament about how appalling and damaging such behaviour is.

But on mumsnet saying much the same kind of blanket statement about men is absolutely fine.

Men write stuff like that and much worse (including violent content and threats) constantly on the internet .

If you look at who is damaging the world and sending the human race into oblivion, it’s men in the main.

So sick of women who peddle misandry but think it's okay as long as they start with "my dad, partner, sons etc are lovely BUT...". Lady, the men in your life are nothing special. They are just typical men, no better than the vast majority of men around you working away, hurting no-one, doing their duty and helping their families and friends. Why you think it's okay to endorse this media-driven hatred of men in general, as long as you privately exclude your own men, is beyond me. Just remember that other women are saying the same crap about your dh, sons etc when they slag men off in general but exclude their own partner. Your qualifier doesn't help at all.

It's bizarre that a women's site that views itself as mainstream thinks it is okay to post this anonymous man-hating garbage to generate engagement.

"I have zero belief in the goodness of any man any longer. I was holding on to it by a shred anyway. AIBU to feel that the majority of men are cheating, abusive, lazy, weak willed, insecure, selfish, overpaid, mediocre, disrespectful fools?"

If a man wrote this about women it would be recognised as hate speech pure and simple and relegated to the far corners of the internet. Advertisers would boycott. The publication would apologise. Then we would have a government policy encouraging boys not to read it in case they started disrespecting women. No mainstream men's site would think that an anonymous angry woman-hater asking whether the majority of women were scum (plenty of angry men like that do exist) was an okay discussion. If Mumsnet had any integrity, they would take this divisive trash down and apologise.

Maybe I've just been lucky, but very few men who feature in my life have been aholes. My Dad is just the loveliest man. He's in his 70s now and he can't do enough for my mum, for their neighbours, and their friends. He will literally do anything for anyone. Growing up, he taught me plumbing, brick laying, car maintenance and electrics as he believed women should know how to do all the things men can.
My husband of 21 years is also just fab. He will do anything for anyone as well and people always comment on what a lovely bloke he is. I'm not saying he will always remember when it's his turn to clean the bathroom or hoover, but will always do it if I ask. He would never spontaneously give me flowers, but the dishwasher is always emptied, the lawn always mowed, and the washing done mid week. I know he's there for me whenever I need him, in whatever capacity I need him - as I am for him. We also have two sons in their late teens. So far, they seem pretty decent human beings too. Polite, kind, and happy to help around the house.
Of course, lots of men are aholes and don't deserve air space, but thankfully not in my world. I'm sorry you've had such bad ones in yours x

To be honest, I've know far more nasty, cruel and bitchy women in my life than I have men.

Same OP. It sucks.

The person who has hurt me and let me down the most is a woman - my mother

The person who did the most for me is a man - my granddad

But he was an exception, majority of men are in the least very selfish many are far worse than just selfish.

And I am happy to join all the threads discussing this very serious issue. The more we discuss the issue the more people shall realise that society allows men to be this way and the more educated we are the more we can change things, and that so often starts with how we are parenting our own sons

To be fair, women do all kinds of mad surgical things to their bodies, it's the motivation that's different. Two women spring to mind, one who deliberately blinded herself and one who convinced someone to cut her spinal cord and paralyse her. They both wanted to be disabled. They weren't getting sexual kicks out of it, but they were getting something from it.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

I agree with you!

I can’t but neither can you!

I’d hate to be you. How sad.

This is extreme but a surgeon amputated his own legs because it was a sexual fantasy of his. Addicted to weird porn. Made the news today. Worked as a surgeon at a Cornish hospital, where he performed amputations on patients (legitimately). In prison for fraud as he fraudulently got several insurance payments. Appeared on This Morning - claimed he went camping and got an infection and off his legs had to come. The reality is that put his legs in dry ice and amputated them himself.

They are a completely different species to women. Can you ever imagine that to be a thing for women? He presented as a respectable professional medical man.