My husband and I are on the rocks. When we try to talk about why it feels so disconnected, I will say that I feel ignored or he never asks anything about me anymore etc (he's always on his phone, grunts answers), and he always gets annoyed and he always says to me "you are not a prize to be won". It's his go to phrase. Says it every time. I find it really dismissive but he says he just means it's not his job to 'keep me' or 'make me happy' and it's a two way thing. AIBU to find it a shitty thing to say to your wife, or do people have sympathy for what he's trying to say.