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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not take any conception now I’m 40

263 replies

68days · 29/05/2026 19:23

I’m 40 in late July and have been talking about with dh not using condoms or any other form of conception anymore

OP posts:
Original poster
68days · 29/05/2026 22:32

MyArtfulGreySloth · 29/05/2026 22:30

Because who wants to be a geriatric mum? It’s not fair on the kids having parents so old.

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40 isn’t old

OP posts:
NiftyGreenBiscuit · 29/05/2026 22:32

MyArtfulGreySloth · 29/05/2026 22:30

Because who wants to be a geriatric mum? It’s not fair on the kids having parents so old.

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WTF. I had one at 39. I’m not old!

TheThingOnTheIce · 29/05/2026 22:30

Rage bait .

MyArtfulGreySloth · 29/05/2026 22:30

B1anche · 29/05/2026 21:37

Lots of us have babies in our early 40s. What's with all the exclamation marks and horrified emojis?

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Because who wants to be a geriatric mum? It’s not fair on the kids having parents so old.

RealityChecksNeeded · 29/05/2026 22:29

Had my daughter 8 months ago, natural conception, perfect pregnancy, birth and recovery.

I'm 45, soon to be 46.

Kinekia · 29/05/2026 22:29

OP my mum conceived me within 2 months of trying at the age of 41

Groundhogday2025 · 29/05/2026 22:28

Yeah is this your way of asking if YABU to try to conceive at 40? Your post can read either that you think people don’t conceive after 40 so can you just not use contraception, or that you’ve got to 40 and want to try to conceive.

Either way it boils down to want a baby/not, not want a baby then don’t use contraception, but if you don’t want a baby then use something.

ETA: and no, plenty of people have babies at 40+ now. The average age of first time mums has gone up, and the average number of children has gone down, so it follows that more and more people are having their children later (if at all).

NiftyGreenBiscuit · 29/05/2026 22:28

Is this a joke?

Whyjustwhy83 · 29/05/2026 22:25

I'm about to turn 43 and currently have a 8 week old and 2 year old. Crack on if you want more babies, I'm a overweight smoker.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 29/05/2026 22:25

Zov · 29/05/2026 19:26

I would NEVER risk it at 40! 😱 The chance of getting pregnant then is much slimmer than at when you're under 30, but the chances are fair!

Do you REALLY want a baby at 41-42-ish?! Child still at school when you're 60?!!!! 😱

This!

Just nope, nope, fucking nope.

IdaGlossop · 29/05/2026 22:24

Conception with a condom. That's a new one on me. Is a little pinprick involved?

I got pregnant twice after 40: one miscarriage, one amazing DD.

Howmanycatsistoomany · 29/05/2026 22:22

OK well good luck with that!

DalmationalAnthem · 29/05/2026 22:21

Is the original post just to announce an attempt at trying to conceive @68days ?

Inevergotthatfar · 29/05/2026 22:17

Only if you're okay with potentially having a baby. Are you?

Ilovelifeverymuch · 29/05/2026 22:14

68days · 29/05/2026 19:23

I’m 40 in late July and have been talking about with dh not using condoms or any other form of conception anymore

Ok if that's what you want. You don't say why or your plan but you're obviously old enough to know how things work and potential implications so if you're both fine with it then go ahead.

Pallisers · 29/05/2026 22:14

Quite the freudian slip in your title. Are you sure you aren't hoping for another child. Because you are 39 and will most likely conceive if you have sex without contraception.

Ilikesundays · 29/05/2026 22:14

I was having very heavy periods - flooding - at 48, and a consultant gynaecologist told me to stop taking the pill. I got pregnant a few months later. Sadly lost it but just shows the dangers of stopping contraception before the menopause.

Cocoamarshmallow · 29/05/2026 22:12

OP, if you’re having an operation or procedure in hospital they’ll check re pregnancy up to and including age 55.

Cyclebabble · 29/05/2026 22:05

I got pregnant at 42. I know loads of other 40+ mums. Statistically less likely to happen but given you are healthy and relaxed you should not be surprised if u fall pregnant. If u would both be happy with this fine. If not you should use some form of contraception.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 29/05/2026 22:04

Don’t be ridiculous! I had my two at 40 and 42 with no problems.

UndoRedo · 29/05/2026 22:02

I had my second at 40, didn't take long to get pregnant

delicioussoo · 29/05/2026 21:52

I got pregnant straight away at 40. You’re an absolute muppet

LadyRoughDiamond · 29/05/2026 21:51

Zov · 29/05/2026 19:26

I would NEVER risk it at 40! 😱 The chance of getting pregnant then is much slimmer than at when you're under 30, but the chances are fair!

Do you REALLY want a baby at 41-42-ish?! Child still at school when you're 60?!!!! 😱

Oh get over yourself! Quite a few of us spent our 20s and 30s in higher education and building a career, and still managed to produce healthy happy children at 40. As for having a child at school in your 60s: a tiny minority, but I guess that doesn’t fit with your hyperbolic hysteria.

FieryA · 29/05/2026 21:49

Ok then, do as you please. Why are you sharing details about your 'contraception' plans?

Thisisnotmyid · 29/05/2026 21:49

I work in Obs. A lady gave birth last month in her early 50’s, not uncommon OP!

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