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Original poster

To not take any conception now I’m 40

263 replies

68days · 29/05/2026 19:23

I’m 40 in late July and have been talking about with dh not using condoms or any other form of conception anymore

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 29/05/2026 23:10

How old are your existing kids, presuming you have them?

Yanbu though, if you dont want more kids tell him to get the snip!

Shatteredallthetimelately · 29/05/2026 23:09

Did you press send to soon...and forgot to add "what are my chances of not becoming pregnant"

Or..
Do you want another baby?

Either way at 40 your ovaries are probably still clattering about a bit.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 29/05/2026 23:06

Imthefunfriend · 29/05/2026 19:24

PS I think you mean contraception 🫣

Freudian slip I think 🫣

Stressmummy12 · 29/05/2026 23:06

Coffeeandbooks88 · 29/05/2026 20:27

It isn't that bad.

Edited to say check your maths. The child would be at university and not school when you are 60.

Edited
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I think we need to think of the potential children here. You are potentially going to pass away at what 75/80+ so the child would go through their own what late 20s onwards lives loosing their parents early. You’d potentially never meet grandchildren etc.

SnappyQuoter · 29/05/2026 23:05

You mean contraception? If you’re 40, you should know that birth control is called contraception.

The only reason not to use any form of contraception is if you want to have a baby. Do you want to have a baby?

Strandas · 29/05/2026 23:04

Stressmummy12 · 29/05/2026 22:49

40 is old in terms of pregnancy and parenting who wants to be parenting a teenager touching 60. It’s entirely up to you but personally for me absolutely not I’m 31 I’ve got a 4 year old and pregnant to give birth later this year and I’m 2 and done. Purely because I don’t want to have children late for their benefit and mine infact I was having quite high levels of anxiety about never having a second but I knew I’d never want one late.

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Absolutely good for you! You knew what you wanted and did it! I was adamant I didn’t want one until I was at least 38, preferably early 40s and I did the same - knew what I wanted and did it. I’m really sorry you had to suffer anxiety though, that must have been really tough.

Spookyspaghetti · 29/05/2026 23:01

MyArtfulGreySloth · 29/05/2026 22:30

Because who wants to be a geriatric mum? It’s not fair on the kids having parents so old.

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I mean… every mum will be a geriatric mum at some point right?!

vickylou78 · 29/05/2026 23:01

Do you want to get pregnant? I had my babies at 38 and 40 got pregnant first go each time . So if you want to do that...go for it

Strandas · 29/05/2026 23:01

68days · 29/05/2026 22:32

40 isn’t old

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No, it isn’t. At least half of my child’s class have parent who gave birth to their first late 30s to mid 40s. One was 49 when she had her first (natural conception).

You’re saying it’s not old, so why do you think you’re immune, unless there is a big back story like you have confirmation you have gone through the menopause? Or, do you actually want a child?

IdaGlossop · 29/05/2026 22:52

MyArtfulGreySloth · 29/05/2026 22:30

Because who wants to be a geriatric mum? It’s not fair on the kids having parents so old.

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Goodness me. What an offensive comment. Some posters have said they had the DC at 40+. I did too. And I wanted to be pregnant. It wasn't an unfortunate accident. Until contraception became reliable, the majority of women carried on having babies well into their 40s.

What do you imagine is unfair on the 'kids'? Wobbling to the school gates on a Zimmer frame? Double incontinence making its presence felt on the beach? Singing the Sex Pistols in the bath rather than Taylor Swift? You need to think before foisting your heartless opinions on strangers. Just as well for you that this conversation is online and not face-to-face.

Londonrach1 · 29/05/2026 22:51

I had dd at 41. A miracle as didn't think ever have children. I'm not the oldest mum by any way in the playground...got several friends who gave birth aged 45. So take it you want more children

Stressmummy12 · 29/05/2026 22:49

68days · 29/05/2026 22:32

40 isn’t old

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40 is old in terms of pregnancy and parenting who wants to be parenting a teenager touching 60. It’s entirely up to you but personally for me absolutely not I’m 31 I’ve got a 4 year old and pregnant to give birth later this year and I’m 2 and done. Purely because I don’t want to have children late for their benefit and mine infact I was having quite high levels of anxiety about never having a second but I knew I’d never want one late.

Wishiwasatailor · 29/05/2026 22:48

I had my first at 39 and 2nd at 41 both conceived first try it's not necessarily low odds of getting pregnant

NameChangeMay2026 · 29/05/2026 22:48

MyArtfulGreySloth · 29/05/2026 22:30

Because who wants to be a geriatric mum? It’s not fair on the kids having parents so old.

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The average age of death is somewhere in the early eighties, so it's likely that any kids of parents reproducing around 40 will have their parents into their forties. That's as much as anyone could ever hope for.

Plus there are definite benefits to having older parents. More time, money, and patience.

nutbrownhare15 · 29/05/2026 22:46

So you want to have another child then?

MigGirl · 29/05/2026 22:45

TheCurious0range · 29/05/2026 22:38

DH has cousins old enough to be his aunts/uncles FIL was a baby his mother thought was the menopause.

My Uncle is young enough to be my brother. As my Gran thought she was going through the menopause.

My Dad and his brother never lived in the same house as a result, they get on really well though and are so much alike.

EuroNotVision · 29/05/2026 22:45

ChasingRainbow5 · 29/05/2026 21:19

I’m 41, pregnant and thrilled about it.

Pretty sure this thread is just random rage bait though.

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Same, I was 42 eoth my first

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 29/05/2026 22:44

Rumplestiltz · 29/05/2026 22:41

Weird no one has mentioned that if she were to get pregnant (increasingly unlikely at 40) she could have an abortion? It doesn’t need to result in a baby.

Seriously? I doubt many people decide to stop contraception with the idea that they'll just have an abortion if they get pregnant.

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 29/05/2026 22:43

Interesting title.

Rumplestiltz · 29/05/2026 22:41

Weird no one has mentioned that if she were to get pregnant (increasingly unlikely at 40) she could have an abortion? It doesn’t need to result in a baby.

NameChangeMay2026 · 29/05/2026 22:40

Omg, you are 39. Absolutely NOT too old to conceive!!!

TheCurious0range · 29/05/2026 22:38

DH has cousins old enough to be his aunts/uncles FIL was a baby his mother thought was the menopause.

Vickim03 · 29/05/2026 22:36

I’m with you…. I don’t want more but I don’t want to continue putting hormones into my body. I don’t want to risk the other side effects from hormonal contraception taking it long term. I’ve also stopped. Marriage isn’t the best so not worried about any accidents…. Just didn’t feel the need if we were using the most effective method (not doing it anyway!)

sheisforrealatiger · 29/05/2026 22:33

I’m wondering if the Op was drunk

Edit as cross posted with Op. Does that mean you’re trying to conceive? Because if so, yes, you should probably stop using contraception…

ScouserSue · 29/05/2026 22:33

Imthefunfriend · 29/05/2026 19:24

PS I think you mean contraception 🫣

🤣 well that’s a Freudian slip if ever there was. You are going to get preggers OP!