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AIBU?

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To not take any conception now I’m 40

263 replies

68days · 29/05/2026 19:23

I’m 40 in late July and have been talking about with dh not using condoms or any other form of conception anymore

OP posts:
Coffeeandbooks88 · 29/05/2026 20:27

Zov · 29/05/2026 19:26

I would NEVER risk it at 40! 😱 The chance of getting pregnant then is much slimmer than at when you're under 30, but the chances are fair!

Do you REALLY want a baby at 41-42-ish?! Child still at school when you're 60?!!!! 😱

It isn't that bad.

Edited to say check your maths. The child would be at university and not school when you are 60.

Cvn · 29/05/2026 20:24

Entirely up to you. Just be aware that the likelihood of having a baby with a chromosomal anomaly is significantly higher after age 40, and the likelihood of a non-chromosomal congenital anomaly (e.g. brain or cardiac defect) is also higher. As is the chance of a pregnancy-related complication - GDM, pre-eclampsia, premature birth etc.
Lots of people do have straightforward pregnancies and healthy babies after 40 of course, but the chances of developing a problem of some kind are higher.

Evaka · 29/05/2026 20:23

68days · 29/05/2026 19:23

I’m 40 in late July and have been talking about with dh not using condoms or any other form of conception anymore

I accidentally became pregnant the month I turned 40 from having unprotected sex ONCE with my partner between coils.

Coil fucking migrated four years later (early this year) and I became pregnant again. It probably wasn't out of place for very long so I possibly became pregnant from one or two instances of unprotected sex. At 44.

Two very upsetting terminations in my 40s. Would not recommend.

LizzieSiddal · 29/05/2026 20:21

I mentioned to my Dr that I was going to stop contraception at 50 and she told me in no uncertain terms to not be so silly.

Swissmeringue · 29/05/2026 20:21

Lmao, I turned 40 in March and got an unexpected bfp for baby number 3 in April. Our kids are only 7 and 3 so it's fine, unexpected but not like we're starting all over again with teenagers. This is after twelve years of marriage where we never used any contraception because it took us yeeears to conceive both of our existing children and we'd always have liked a third. But yeah, just as I was considering finally going on the pill because I'm a bit old (imo) to get pregnant, baby when we weren't even trying. 😂

Yabu, if you don't want a baby, use contraception (definitely not conception)....

mindutopia · 29/05/2026 20:20

Silly unless you want more babies. I was still ovulating like clockwork until about 43. Perimenopause and cancer has now buggered the system, but even with irregular cycles, I still ovulate at 46. Have your Dh get the snip.

Zov · 29/05/2026 20:19

I wonder if the OP will come back?

susiedaisy1912 · 29/05/2026 20:16

🤣

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 29/05/2026 19:43

If you will be happy to get pregnant, fine!

bIf not, FGS get real! Many women have babies quite naturally at 40 plus. My dd had her 3rd at nearly 43, and a friend of hers had her 2nd at 45.

One of the mums at DDs’ senior school had an (unplanned) baby at IIRC 49, just as her eldest was about to sit her A levels!

MiniCoopers · 29/05/2026 19:41

Hilarious - why the F wouldn’t you continue? You have, as I’m certain you know’ a good 10 years before you are infertile if not more.

hyggetyggedotorg · 29/05/2026 19:39

Apparently you need contraception until you’re either definitely in menopause (so last period was more than 12 months ago) or you turn 55. Whichever comes first.

Mumof1andacat · 29/05/2026 19:38

Are you convinced menopause starts at on your 40th birthday ? My nana had 2 children in 40's and I worked with someone who had a baby at 46.

nopenotplaying · 29/05/2026 19:35

Twins at 41 here ✌🏻 conceived when I was 40

MiddleAgedDread · 29/05/2026 19:34

You might want to google that or talk to your practice nurse……

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/05/2026 19:30

I conceived DC2 first cycle at 39.

WallaceinAnderland · 29/05/2026 19:29

Why 40?

CamillaMcCauley · 29/05/2026 19:28

Is your DH a doctor with a specialization in women’s reproductive health? If not, maybe seek a professional opinion.

AntiHop · 29/05/2026 19:28

I had dd2 (deliberately) at 43.

AffableApple · 29/05/2026 19:28

SunSparkle · 29/05/2026 19:25

Enjoy your twins at 44

Ha! Came here to say the same. Maybe triplets - depending on how hard perimenopause-related hyper-ovulation has got you.

Perrygreen · 29/05/2026 19:27

Enjoy the night wake ups in 18 months time.

smallglassbottle · 29/05/2026 19:27

Ha ha, I got pregnant accidentally at 40, it wasn't even a full effort. It didn't stick, but I soon learned my lesson.

Zov · 29/05/2026 19:26

I would NEVER risk it at 40! 😱 The chance of getting pregnant then is much slimmer than at when you're under 30, but the chances are fair!

Do you REALLY want a baby at 41-42-ish?! Child still at school when you're 60?!!!! 😱

Sidge · 29/05/2026 19:26

You may not know this, but contraception is recommended up to age 55. Or for a year after your last natural period if you’re over 50, and 2 years if you’re under 50.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/05/2026 19:26

Well its surely up to you of you want to have a baby? Plenty of women have babies at this age. Good luck!

Hankunamatata · 29/05/2026 19:26

Its up to you. Just same risk of getting pregnant as before 40

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