To have done a job interview at 20 weeks pregnant and not disclosed

They don't generally expect it back a year later though

It's a ridiculous suggestion because it's out of proportion for the OP's role. She would never get that time back with her baby, just so she could ingratiate herself with work.

I feel sorry for your friend if she only had 2 weeks maternity leave. It's not much time for a woman to recover from birth (yes in some countries maternity leave rights are very poor but it's not a race to the bottom, I'm not trying to insult those who are forced to take a short maternity leave but can't imagine many people 'happily' take only 2 weeks, people have longer holidays than that).

A sperm made the baby too but the mother has carried the baby for so long and that's whose voice they know, I actually believe it's better for the baby to be with their mother in the early days, certainly the first few months (4th trimester).

Its not a ridiculous comment at all. Its a suggestion.

Quite insulting to those who do take a very short maternity and then their partner takes over. One of my friends did this as she was by far the higher earner and didn't want to jeopardise her career. A sperm made the baby too so why shouldn't they father take over?

It’ll blow over. They’ve no rights to be snappy with you. They had the opportunity to speak to your manager, they’ll get over it.

I mean you could always take the minimum two weeks maternity and let your partner do the rest of the parental leave????

Why make such a ridiculous comment.

OP's baby is a lot more worthy of her time than trying to appease colleagues.

@Kinekia enjoy your maternity leave when it comes around (quite soon 😉)

Don't cut it short unless you want to for some reason. I had 14 months off in total with the annual leave I had accrued during maternity leave.

A small minority of nasty pieces of work, such as yourself, spoke proudly about how I’m going to get bullied, intimated and discriminated out of the job.

I said no such thing!

You yourself have mentioned in your OP how your colleagues are acting around you since finding this out. It seems to have been why you posted on AIBU.

One phonecall from a superior being pleasant and making a silk purse out of a sow's ear, aka the situation she is now stuck with, does not make it all all right.

If all you wanted was posters agreeing with you, and banging on about legalities and rights, you perhaps should have posted this on a different board.

Meanwhile, your colleagues, who presumably are all aware of employment laws, are still upset.

Don’t take a new job while pregnant! Too risky!
basically you’ll be showing very soon, and before your probation has ended..

"Most people will not just leave a new job after 2 months"

They do not. But some do.

And yet, along with the majority on the poll and many on this thread, her coworkers do think it was wrong.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and your promotion, OP. I’m genuinely pleased that it’s worked out so well for you, and that they’re being more supportive now.

I hope this thread hasn’t been too hard for you to read. Some absolutely vile posters on here, especially as legally* *(and morally, as far as I’m concerned) you’ve done nothing wrong.

Good luck!

It was in internal role. HR will have handled OPs sickness absence. Before transferring a current employee to a new role an employer would normally check with HR and check there are no issues on file, maybe speak to current manager to see what kind of worker she is. If they didn’t do that, that’s on them. Due diligence.

You put words in my mouth but okay. I’m out, I don’t care about it enough to continue. Have a nice evening.

You’ve done nothing wrong. I can’t believe a predominantly female forum has so little support for a woman just exercising her hard won legal right to not disclose a pregnancy at a job interview. Best of luck with the new role and the baby.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and promotion. Well done for having your eye on the future you want to build for yourself and your family.

The only thing I would add is maybe email the manager you spoke to thanking them for their support and expressing how appreciative you are of the company's positive policies for women and pregnancy. This is basically a way for you to get off the slight back foot of apology and subtly assert your expectations.

You would have said it was a sweeping majority if that 62% had been in favour of the OP. 62% of nearly 2000 people is quite a large % of people who think the OP is being unreasonable.

And the posts haven't really been 'divided,' more people think the OP is being unreasonable.

And yes I KNOW what the OP has done is legal. I don't think it should be though. That's my opinion (and the opinion of many others.) And we're not 'wrong' to think it. An opinion cannot be wrong. Quite a number of things are legal, but not necessarily right.

Women should not be disadvantaged because they happen to be the sex that carries a baby. If you wouldn't worry about employing a man who has a 25 weeks pregnant partner, then it is morally unfair to worry about employing the woman who is 25 weeks pregnant. Shared parental leave exists, and so you cannot assume it's the woman who will be taking the whole time off. To assume it is, is to be sexist, discriminatory and against the law. This OP has stated she is considering shared parental leave, so she is considering her employer, her own future, and is bringing a brand new little future tax payer into the country who will likely be helping to pay my pension. Thank you OP!

No but quoting things about people you know as if it sets a precedent in this situation has no relevance. They unofficially wanted maternity cover as it turns out so even if they had loved her they most likely would have turned her down .

Honestly no one will care after she rejoins. Chances of someone remembering what happened is small and chances are some people on the team will have moved on anyway. No one devotes that much energy into things like this. They will sort out the team currently and sort out her rejoining. Sounds like they all get on and I’m sure the Op will end up being a valued member of the team. I honestly can barely remember things that happened last month let alone things that happened 6 month’s prior.

It has nothing to do with whether people understand the law or not.

Something can be legal or illegal, doesn’t mean that it’s that black and white.

Should it be illegal to refuse to employ someone because they’re pregnant? No. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a shitty thing to do to apply for a job at 25 weeks pregnant when you have no intentions of actually doing that job because you’re about to bugger off and have a baby.

Something being the law doesn’t necessarily mean people have to agree with it. They don’t have to break said law, but they don’t have to agree that it’s ok in certain circumstances either.

No, where did I say that? Have I missed something?

62% of people don't understand the law, and hopefully aren't in management or they will get their company sued to the back teeth one day.

62% is hardly a sweeping condemnation, is it? Like the posts, it sounds much more like a divided response.

I stand by the view that it's not fair to judge someone for not answering a question they weren't allowed to be asked in the first place, and for good reason. If OP disclosing being pregnant would have stopped her getting a job she otherwise would have been offered, then it's good she didn't tell them as their decision not to hire her would have been illegal.

This is not the gaming the office by careful omission of facts that will affect future coworkers support board. The OP asked on AIBU if she was being unreasonable in her deceit. 62% of the poll still think she was being unreasonable.