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To have done a job interview at 20 weeks pregnant and not disclosed

532 replies

Kinekia · 29/05/2026 18:47

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

My original manager knew from 6 weeks in January as HG (severe morning sickness) kicked in at 6 weeks and I ended up on the sick for 2 months. After 2 months I returned as I’d found a medication protocol that allowed
me to get back to normality. I worked in an entry level customer service role. They have dozens of staff so my pregnancy didn’t really affect the team that much.

An internal role came up within the business in March. It would essentially be a promotion. Pay rise, more responsibilities (but generally nicer hours and less front-line customer contact, which is a huge bonus), no weekends, smaller team. I applied expecting nothing to come of it. I surprisingly got invited for an interview in April. I was 20 weeks when I interviewed. I had pondered over whether to disclose the pregnancy at the interview. This internal department is in a different part of the building to where I worked so they don’t know me at all. And my line manager at the time confirmed they wouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy and that it was up to me when I disclose. This job role that had come up was something I’ve desired to get into ever since joining the company, and I really wanted to give it my best shot, so I decided not to disclose, as was my legal right.

I interviewed at 20 weeks in April and felt I hid the bump well. We clicked really well at interview and they really liked me. They asked about pre-booked holidays etc. they then asked “Is there anything else we need to know about?” and I cheerfully said “no”. I felt awful about this at the time but on the other hand, as I said, I wanted them to review me as a candidate fairly without just being seen as “the pregnant candidate”.

Middle of May I got offered the role and accepted. The call where they offered the role was very rushed as they were snowed under, and I didn’t get chance to disclose the pregnancy as she said “Right I’ll be in touch when I’ve got a start date I need to go now, take care!” and abruptly hung up.

The next day (my final day before 17 days of annual leave) I messaged the new manager asking if she had time for a call and she never replied. I wanted to disclose the pregnancy then. I then went on the pre-booked
holiday and still didn’t have a start date.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

I do feel awful for inconveniencing them but I don’t think I did anything wrong by not disclosing at interview. I had intended to tell them earlier than when I did but I just never got the right moment. I thought we’d have a time to sit down together and go through contracts etc and I would’ve mentioned it then but this never happened.

I have seen there is another woman on the team who is pregnant and due to go on leave so I suspect they had intended me to take over from her and that is why they are pissed off. They hadn’t told me this at interview though. Ironically I’m actually due before this other woman so I can see why they are fuming but legally I’ve not done anything wrong. It does prove that if I’d have disclosed at interview they probably would’ve not hired me and would’ve made up a non-pregnancy related reason to justify it.

Am I am awful employee? I’m concerned that my relationship with my managers will never recover from this and it’s a shame as I really have a huge interest in this role and have every intention of going back full-time after mat leave.

OP posts:
BIossomtoes · 30/05/2026 18:07

Kinekia · 30/05/2026 17:58

It really, really doesn’t work like that at my company.

I’m sure it does unless your company is different to 99% of UK companies.

PepsiBook · 30/05/2026 18:06

You did nothing wrong.
If you told them you were pregnant you would absolutely not have got the job.

Kinekia · 30/05/2026 17:58

BIossomtoes · 30/05/2026 17:11

I bet he did, your maternity leave won’t have to come out of his budget now.

It really, really doesn’t work like that at my company.

OP posts:
PartyQuestion30th · 30/05/2026 17:53

Legally you did noth8ng wrong, but you feel you did, 8 think you need to get out of that mindset ….it’ll probably sort itself out when you get back from maternity leave, I’d be pissed off with you though. A former colleague of mine announced her pregnancy on FB then got a job with a company I know well. They didn’t know she was pregnant and the timings are such she was at work in a senior role for about 7 weeks before going on maternity leave.

Jorge14 · 30/05/2026 17:53

If it’s legally ok then it is ok. I wonder how passing a probation period will go though?

Cloudhopping · 30/05/2026 17:45

Although you haven’t done anything wrong under the eyes of the law, would you be pissed off if you were in their position?

Clarabell77 · 30/05/2026 17:39

Fortysevenpl · 29/05/2026 19:10

Of course they did - because they specifically asked about holidays booked, clearly indicating that they wanted to know if there were absence periods coming. Maternity leave is just that. Whilst you might not have done anything wrong legally, you have fucked them over - they hired you because they needed an employee to work soon, that’s kind of the point of hiring.

They aren’t being friendly to you. Seeing as you are obsessed with legalities, do they have a legal obligation to make chit chat with you? No. would you make chit chat with someone who deceived you? You hid the bump deliberately and you said there was nothing else for them to be aware of so I would say thats
deception , even if legally you’ve done nothing wrong.

Yes, they wanted to know, and OP didn’t want to tell them. Their wants don’t trump hers thankfully as she would never have got the job if she’d told them - they seem to have the same archaic mindset as you do!

WeatherOrNothing · 30/05/2026 17:36

PropertyD · 29/05/2026 18:57

Honestly - I think you deceived them. Sorry, but it wasn’t a great thing to do.

Yes I agree, you were actually sly to do this.

It’s legal but not very nice of you.

I was really pissed off to have spent time training someone in a very niche area to find out she was pregnant and didn’t say anything.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 30/05/2026 17:29

Somebody told me she was pregnant before interview and asked if she should withdraw. I said the best person on the day will get the job and pregnancy is not a factor. She got tge job and stayed for many years, doing a great job. The boss wasnt pleased when he found out I knew ... you wouldn't dream of discrimination sting against a pregnant woman, would you, if asked. He did smile and say I was right.

BIossomtoes · 30/05/2026 17:11

Kinekia · 30/05/2026 16:43

I told the new manager at 24 weeks 5 days. But HR and my old manager knew from 6 weeks when HG kicked in. It’s an absolutely massive corporation, departments don’t necessarily communicate with each other.

My old manager supported me in not disclosing and said he understood my reasoning and confirmed he wouldn’t tell them either

Edited

I bet he did, your maternity leave won’t have to come out of his budget now.

AllaMova · 30/05/2026 17:08

I think you did the right thing, OP. You prevented them from being able to discriminate against you, and they don’t seem to like that.

Kinekia · 30/05/2026 16:43

FoxHedgehogBadger · 30/05/2026 16:22

Aren’t you legally obliged to disclose the pregnancy at 25 weeks latest? As in, 15 weeks before birth.
So you were fine to interview without mentioning it, but you had plenty of opportunity to disclose it following that, knowing your 25th week was approaching. When the offer was made you should have discussed it then. Saying the call was rushed is a poor excuse. Before you went on holiday you should have discussed it. If you couldn’t get hold of your new manager you could have contacted HR and/or discussed it with your existing manager.

I told the new manager at 24 weeks 5 days. But HR and my old manager knew from 6 weeks when HG kicked in. It’s an absolutely massive corporation, departments don’t necessarily communicate with each other.

My old manager supported me in not disclosing and said he understood my reasoning and confirmed he wouldn’t tell them either

OP posts:
Kinekia · 30/05/2026 16:38

Thechaseison71 · 30/05/2026 16:07

What's illegal? She's working in the job?

Surprised they didn't flag up she had been off sick for 2momths previously then had another 3 weeks annual leave booked bm

Are you saying I should lose my accrued annual leave which I am entitled
to because I was off sick? I hope you never go into government

OP posts:
Kinekia · 30/05/2026 16:36

dancehysterical22 · 30/05/2026 16:34

And I’d he surprised if you got enhanced pay anyway, being there for such a short space of time. I would have waited til baby was born before applying for another job.

I’m 100% eligible for enhanced this has been confirmed by HR. I joined 13 months ago

OP posts:
dancehysterical22 · 30/05/2026 16:34

And I’d he surprised if you got enhanced pay anyway, being there for such a short space of time. I would have waited til baby was born before applying for another job.

FoxHedgehogBadger · 30/05/2026 16:22

Aren’t you legally obliged to disclose the pregnancy at 25 weeks latest? As in, 15 weeks before birth.
So you were fine to interview without mentioning it, but you had plenty of opportunity to disclose it following that, knowing your 25th week was approaching. When the offer was made you should have discussed it then. Saying the call was rushed is a poor excuse. Before you went on holiday you should have discussed it. If you couldn’t get hold of your new manager you could have contacted HR and/or discussed it with your existing manager.

Thechaseison71 · 30/05/2026 16:07

rainbowsparkle28 · 29/05/2026 18:57

I would be speaking with ACAS - what they are doing from what I can understand is illegal.

www.acas.org.uk/pregnancy-at-work

What's illegal? She's working in the job?

Surprised they didn't flag up she had been off sick for 2momths previously then had another 3 weeks annual leave booked bm

ZenNudist · 30/05/2026 16:04

Kinekia · 29/05/2026 21:57

I was honest when asked why I hadn’t mentioned it at interview and said I wanted to wait until things were in writing. I’ve got the outcome I wanted - the job. Now is time to start redeeming myself rather than digging the hole further. I understand what you mean though.

Edited

I feel like you have the right attitude now. Its a shame to have started this new phase of your career in this manner. It may be legal but it's created bad feeling.

Hopefully as its a big company they can just roll on recruiting your mat cover and you and other pregnant colleague will make one full time worker when you return.

WhyCantISayFork · 30/05/2026 15:03

Kinekia · 30/05/2026 14:51

Honestly the question “Is there anything else we need to know about?” really did put me on the spot. My options were either disclose the pregnancy or say no. I can’t exactly say “Well there’s a couple of things but I’ll go over those when I have an offer!” as that would’ve made me sound massively dodgy. It’s not a question I was expecting to be honest. I would expect to be asked about holidays, reasonable adjustments, plans to go back to education etc but the broadness of that question shocked me. It’s not something I’ve been asked in previous interviews.

Having done extensive prep for the interview, and feeling positive about the rapport I had built up with the interviewers, I felt a bit blindsided by that question and decided on the spot that if I disclosed I could shit on all my previous efforts, so I chose to not disclose. I have wondered if it’s a standard question or if they’d noticed the bump. If they had noticed the bump I can’t blame them for asking I suppose.

Edited

If they noticed the bump, they can’t very well act like it’s a surprise. Anyway, whatever anyone else here thinks, you’ve done what’s best for your family, and the employer is not a small business owner so just do your best at the role and stop worrying about it.

Kinekia · 30/05/2026 14:51

WhyCantISayFork · 30/05/2026 13:46

She accused the Op of lying, which she didn’t. They don’t “need to know” and would have discriminated against her had they known. And then she said this is what’s setting back women’s rights.

I haven’t escalated, I have responded. Maybe you’re reading a tone into my words that isn’t there and should follow your own advice about taking some deep breaths.

Honestly the question “Is there anything else we need to know about?” really did put me on the spot. My options were either disclose the pregnancy or say no. I can’t exactly say “Well there’s a couple of things but I’ll go over those when I have an offer!” as that would’ve made me sound massively dodgy. It’s not a question I was expecting to be honest. I would expect to be asked about holidays, reasonable adjustments, plans to go back to education etc but the broadness of that question shocked me. It’s not something I’ve been asked in previous interviews.

Having done extensive prep for the interview, and feeling positive about the rapport I had built up with the interviewers, I felt a bit blindsided by that question and decided on the spot that if I disclosed I could shit on all my previous efforts, so I chose to not disclose. I have wondered if it’s a standard question or if they’d noticed the bump. If they had noticed the bump I can’t blame them for asking I suppose.

OP posts:
BananaPeels · 30/05/2026 14:37

Fortysevenpl · 30/05/2026 14:30

It’s not my DH. It’s my db and a friend, both who run businesses. It’s a very widely recognised phenomenon now that this kind of person is afraid to hire. Pregnancy is not even the main reason. Costs and risks are massive. It is most certainly impacting things at a national level now.

I don’t know anyone who has refused to hire someone between the age of 18 and 45 because they might get pregnant. I have many reasons for not hiring people and it simply comes down to minimum wage and employers NI plus the increased business rates. Making assumptions about someone’s private life isn’t one of them

Kinekia · 30/05/2026 14:33

I’m just going to have to get on with it and make the best of it.

I wish I’d been more pushy in telling them before I went on annual leave rather than idly waiting for them to book a meeting to go over terms. That’s my main regret.

Overall though I don’t regret what I’ve done. My previous role would’ve been impossible to go back to after maternity leave due to the hours and lack of childcare so my decision to go for the promotion has saved me from unemployment and debt (£6000 in enhanced maternity pay which I’d have to give back) which would’ve been awful given the current financial climate. We have too high savings for universal credit too. I really had no choice.

I’m sure some will still think I should’ve massively set back our finances 2-3 years for the sake of Large Insurance Company TM but oh well

OP posts:
Fortysevenpl · 30/05/2026 14:30

BananaPeels · 30/05/2026 12:57

But you were framing it in such a way that we only have ourselves to blame for the unemployment in this country because people aren’t prepared to commit their lives solely to their work and forego families of their own or not care for relatives etc.

your DH could hire several part timers if they are that worried so you are not dependant on one person. There are multiple ways to mitigate the risk. Just deciding not to hire anyone is crazy.

It’s not my DH. It’s my db and a friend, both who run businesses. It’s a very widely recognised phenomenon now that this kind of person is afraid to hire. Pregnancy is not even the main reason. Costs and risks are massive. It is most certainly impacting things at a national level now.

WhyCantISayFork · 30/05/2026 13:46

Notsosweetcaroline · 30/05/2026 11:59

Whoa calm down, take a deep breath, the poster never said she should not have exercised her right just so she could be discriminated against.

if you can’t cope without escalating then maybe take a break instead of lashing out and accusing posters of thinking stuff they never said,

She accused the Op of lying, which she didn’t. They don’t “need to know” and would have discriminated against her had they known. And then she said this is what’s setting back women’s rights.

I haven’t escalated, I have responded. Maybe you’re reading a tone into my words that isn’t there and should follow your own advice about taking some deep breaths.

january1244 · 30/05/2026 13:30

Kinekia · 29/05/2026 21:37

Now that you mention shared parental leave, it might be worth discussing with DP. It would certainly be a way for me to redeem myself with my new managers if I can return a bit earlier. It would show I’m taking my career seriously and help get me back in good stead with the company. Of course I don’t know how I’ll feel about shared parental leave once meeting my baby.

DP is fab and would be up for the time with the baby but his working environment is very “blokey” and I know for a fact his manager would be an arse and make jokes about daddy daycare and him going soft and being under the thumb by “the missus”…but that’s another thread

Edited

Just to say, check his contract. Shared parental leave is under a completely different section to paternity leave. He might well get some enhanced - a lot of companies have equalised male and female leave. Eg my work gives men six months full pay, same as for women. I’ve had two shared parental leaves, and my partner got five months full pay at one place, and 3.5 months full pay at another. Just double check with HR if it has to be taken within a certain time limit, as everywhere differs. It’s had a lot of other benefits (for us) - we are equal parents.

But congrats on the job! Sounds like it’ll be a lot easier with a promotion and regular hours. And I get what you mean about wanting financial security and more, a better house in a better area etc when you’re having a family. I feel the same, and nursery are the years it’s easier to work.