Am I stingy and not living life to the full?

I'm a single parent, with two children - though my ex pays roughly 50% of child specific costs (clothes, activities, etc.). We each 100% maintain our own households. I'm on a smaller income, albeit with mortgage paid off and decent savings. I happily spend on myself, why wouldn't I? Not so much on some everyday things like takeaway coffees, lunches, running an expensive car etc but definitely on some nice clothes, holidays, doing things with other people, occasional meals out. This is my life now, am not putting it off until a time that might never come. What is the point of working hard and earning well if you don't share it out a bit, including to oneself?

Stop sharing your finances with your family for a start.
Well done for having savings.
I am a great believer in saving and have instilled it into my children.

Keep going as you are.
Be wary of being asked for loans when you are so free with your private information.

I do think perfume is unnecessary, but nice to have. I have 6 bottles on rotation depending on season and occasion.

I don't think an £80 perfume is extravagant, if it's nice and what you want and you wear it everyday. I don't see why you'd wait for Christmas. That's 6 months away! What are you doing for scent in the meantime?

I also think that a lot of mums share your attitude and will happily spend money on their child but then be a bit martyrish when it comes to themselves. It's understandable but I can also see how that can get old quickly as a bystander.

Also if you out earn your siblings it could seem like a lot of money to them. It's easy to spend other people's money ;)

Plenty of people would spend £80 on a mediocre meal out for two at a chain restaurant or a month's worth of coffees and not have any weird ideas about only allowing themselves that spend at Christmas. The OPs perfume will last longer than either of those things.

I would spend £80 on a pair of trainers but not perfume. If you really coveted it, I’m assuming you would just buy it in may.

OP im with you, we have a high household income and I would find it really hard to justify £80 on a perfume personally, it definitely wouldn't be a regular spend, it would be a real treat. We all have different priorities, mine are savings for my DS and for our future, pension and holidays. Likely the amount I spend on holidays would seem high to others, but id rather do that than the low level regular spend that others do. Each to their own.

@Yealoo

Which perfume is it, OP?

There are some which are more suited to the winter months rather than the summer.

I'm on a good bit less than you, household income of about 3.5k a month. We're mortgage free though so don't have that expense. I'd happily spend £80 on something random that I wanted. Hell, I've just spent £250 on a computer part that honestly could have waited till Christmas.

If it makes you happy, then there's nothing wrong with spending money when you can afford it.

Give over. The OP is a high earner and it’s an £80 purchase. Her spending is not going to spiral out of control from a perfume. Not everyone is on minimum wage.

There’s no right answer.

Behavioural finance is complex.

if you’re happy with it, that’s all that matters.

And for what it’s worth, you are in a good financial position, but that’s probably BECAUSE of your cautious nature to unnecessary spending.

It’s not, but on one income she’ll be paying about £2k out of her £5k income on the mortgage (assuming the remaining term is less than 25 years as it isn’t a new mortgage). So a fairly large proportion of household income.

There’s a few reasons why nearly half of the adults in the UK are in debt. This is one of them.

Hmm. Did your sibling kick off because you’re known to be tight and make a big deal of not spending money or telling others how broke you are and times are hard. , Are you known for example for sitting in your house freezing cold in the winter wearing 3 jumpers etc rather than turning on the central heating.

It’s good to be careful with money but quite honestly, with your income, I’d be buying whatever perfume I like when I like. In fact, I earn half your salary and would still buy the damned perfume.

Your money your choice..but if you bought every little thing because it made no impact on your finances, you would have that level of savings! You've got that money because you're careful.

You don't have to justify your choices to anyone

Maybe it's just priorities. We have a household income more than that and one dd. I would consider a 'proper perfume' at around £100 to be a xmas or bday treat - I would never just buy it as a treat otherwise.

most people don’t only buy what’s necessary and most people wouldn’t call thqt extravagant no, unless couldn’t afford it.

in fact it’s quite a lower end perfume cost.

I think this is a really important point Getting an expensive perfume at Christmas feels like a real treat and something special. Just buying it on a random day in May and it being no particular big deal makes it feel less special (or it would for me, anyway).

Will it give OP less pleasure at Christmas? Particularly if she doesn’t get many/any gifts on the day?

I would stop talking about finances with them. Ultimately it's up to you. It's nice to treat yourself at Christmas, that might make it feel extra special

In your position I would buy the perfume now.
It will give you pleasure.

I think you're sensible to prioritise having a solid cushion of savings - it's because you've been 'stingy' (or, as I would say, sensibly cautious) that you have that back-up.

I get it. I can't seem to spend money on myself despite earning good wage. I buy for others without second thought but agonise over small things for myself like a pack of nice pens. Several weeks of looking at them in my basket and wondering whether I really needed them. They cost £7! I think it's an attitude towards money that we have from a young age.

I think YABU. I spend more than that on alcohol a month 😜

I just do not understand you. Most people's mortgage is bigger than their savings. She's talking about £80!

I live alone, so responsible for my bills. Earn a good wage. I am sensible and save. Previously I would have been like you. I have a DP who earns well but spends well. He has no debts, but likes nice holidays.

I have changed and would now buy the perfume. I suppose his influence has rubbed off. I still save as I don’t know what’s round the corner. But save less and enjoy more.

i like my nice holidays now. Treat yourself