Should our 10-year-old contribute to replacing the broken car charge cover?

You don't know she doesn't care. She could care a lot but also be embarrassed and afraid to own up.
You don't know why she sulked. I remember doing similar as a child but it wasn't because I didn't care it was the opposite.

Jesus Christ some of you are so bloody mean.

I don't see it as sly at all. I see it as the parent has failed to build the type of relationship where the child feels comfortable admitting this type of accident. No doubt because she knows the consequences will be wildly over the top, like taking several months of pocket money away.

I would have thought by 10 years old they will have had that talk previously and she should know by now.

If this is the first time she is being told these things that would be some bloody poor parenting! 😅

It's an accident.
By all means stop this weeks pocket money if you want to, but she's still a developing child, not always capable to see every eventuality in advance when making choices.

I would give her a list of chores and what y ou are prepared to 'pay' for each thing and tell her she has to work off the cost of the repair. If she refuses to, then dock her pocket money. The sulking about doing chores would annoy me more than the original carelessness, tbh.

Given that she has been told not to play football near the car, didn’t tell you about the accident, and hasn’t suggested a plan to make up for it, I would make her contribute to the replacement.

I wouldn’t make her pay for all of it though, I wouldn’t make it proportional to income and explain that. So if e.g the cost of the replacement equates to half of the family’s fun money for the month, dock half of her pocket money for the month and explain you are all in it together.

And/or natural consequences. If you now have nearly £200 less for the month, does that mean there are activities, clubs etc that were planned but she now can’t participate in because you can’t afford them (could be combined with reduction in pocket money).

That’s what I’d do - but I would make it clear that if it happens again then she’ll be covering the whole cost of it.

Just a talk is no consequence at all.
There needs to be a real tangible consequence, not just words.
"Blah blah blah" from Mum goes in one ear and out the other. Totally ineffectual.

Even though it was an accident, it was a foreseeable one, caused by playing in a silly place.
I suggest two weeks pocket money docked - that is a long time at 10 years old.

So no consequence then?

I wouldn’t make her pay for it all because she’s 10. I’d explain to her that if she damages something she must tell you or her dad. Did she know she’d broken it, or kicked the ball it bounced off and she collected the ball not looking at the car? I’d also tell her no balls around cars and she must go on the field (which if I had a rental car on my drive I would have done that anyway).

There is already problem with her sulking off, now is the time to teach accountability and responsibility. Chores and no pocket money until the £118 is paid off. This will serve her well in the future. I see adults with this attitude, and it’s because they were never taught accountability.

The main problem is her attitude; if she'd apologised immediately you probably wouldn't be posting. If she's losing pocket money make it 4 weeks unless you want it to still be an issue after then. I'd want to move on.

I wouldn't do the full amount but would do a month of no pocket money and explain why.

Hopefully it will make her think twice in future and also teaches a valuable lesson about costs etc

No way. It was an accident.

I'm not being funny but i drive an old car that i own outright and coule therefore choose whether or not to replace it and if so, on whst timescale. If it wasn't a lease car, would you feel the same? Because if so, I think its unfair to make her pay just because its your nice thing that she accidentally broke. Amd I think the fact you mention it being a lease means that's a factor.

A week of no pocket money to teach her that careless behavior costs money is reasonable. Making her pay the lot is disproportionate as a mistake of this type wouldnt cost you 23x your weekly income.

DD9 broke her earphones last week. She had to pay half of the price for a new one. Reason being She is careless with her stuff and is told over and over again to look after things as the money used to buy it doesn't grow on trees. I say go without pocket money for a few weeks.

You don’t suggest she’s helping, you tell her.

Out of interest, why? Accidents have consequences and it sounds like reasonable care could have avoided this accident - how would you teach that reasonable care should be taken in future, especially given the lack of remorse?

They learn by watching and maturing mostly.

She's 10. It was an accident so no.

If she was 18, earning a wage and purposefully smashed a vase on the floor that is when they pay for damage.

I think most 10yr olds would skulk off with the offer of helping around the house, maybe you could've gone to the field with her for an hour or suggested she met a pal?

No, it was just an accident.
Unless, you'd told her not to play there and why but she refused? Then, yes - but only a week's money.

Surely by 10 you don't watch them every minute of the day and micromanage to this extent though? If OP thought she was either playing football in the field or playing a quieter game on the drive, how was she to anticipate the kid was actually kicking a football at the car charger?

I guess the alternative consequence I would give for an older child that had been really careless and damaged something valuable (if I didn't want to do the docking pocket money or extra chores thing) is to not let them go off to play independently and make them stay where I can see them, more as you would a younger child - but the trouble with that is it's a right PITA for you as the parent, having to deal with a bored and moany child all day and not be able to send them off for some exercise and to burn off energy until I was there to supervise, no thanks!

If she was breaking a known house rule, dock two weeks' money.
If not a rule, set the rule now.
Tell her you'd always want to be told.

Accidents happen, and she's only ten.

Yes deduct the money from her pocket money definitely , she needs to learn not to be sly and to own up straight away when she has done something.

Absolutely, whether it was a mistake or not she's old enough to understand there are consequences to her actions, and her attitude isn't helping. It wasn't as though out of absolutely nowhere she fell on the cover or something, she was playing football where she shouldn't have been, and nor is she a tiny toddler who had no way of foreseeing that playing carelessly near breakable items could result in breakages (unless significant SN of course).

I would certainly be docking her pocket money for at least a few weeks - if she apologises and is keen to make amends I'd then definitely give her the opportunity to do some extra weekend chores (at highly inflated rates) so that within a couple of weeks or so she's back on an even keel and can have pocket money again, as if it drags on out of all proportion to the incident itself that will just breed resentment rather than learning. But I definitely wouldn't just let her off it entirely!