Should our 10-year-old contribute to replacing the broken car charge cover?

You should make her contribute, probably with something like 4 weeks pocket money and a certain amount of chores. Expecting her to pay the whole thing would be unreasonable.

I think you need to decide what your plan is if she breaks anything at home.
Would you make her pay for breaking crockery or the TV?

Are you thinking of making her pay because she understood 100% that she ought not to play by the car?

She also needs to learn from you that if she does something accidentally (and causes damage) even if she knows she was in the wrong, owning up is the right thing to do.

I also think that £5 a week for a 10 year old is too much pocket money.
If you give her that amount maybe consider tying it into being for payment for helping with chores. eg washing up/ stacking a dish washer, vacuuming her room or other rooms, changing her own bedding, etc.

She should be doing chores anyway presumably!

And surely she is old enough to understand the consequences - presumably she knows she has to behave in a certain way at school or there are consequences? I don’t doubt the mature brain thing but I think people don’t give children enough credit for understanding more then you think

Does she do anything around the house @Bdayupset ?

I like this!

Poor kid

Understanding consequences is difficult for children because that part of the brain does not fully develop until late teens or early 20s. It requires the sophisticated ability to project yourself forward to a future time and then look back over the road you travelled to get you there.

That does not mean DD should get a free out of jail card. I would stop her pocket money for (say) a month and insist that she did some chores. If she does them with ill grace then extend the period.

it would have been better to say ‘you broke something expensive by being silly. It’s going to cost us a lot of money to replace. This week, you are going to do some chores for me to help, in the morning you can water the plants, and after dinner you can dry the dishes. You also get no pocket money for two weeks.’ Then it’s done. Now you have to deal with both the sulking off and the charger. Proportionate consequences clearly and quickly enacted. Don’t let your children get away with sulking off!

I think you need to separate the issues. Is she allowed to play in front? I know you said she doesn't usually but that's not the same as saying she can't. If she did, and it was a genuine accident, then I wouldn't expect her to pay for it, although there would be a consequences for not telling you when it happened. Secondly helping out around the house - all of the children not just the daughter - should be a given, not just used as a punishment. Huffing off because she's been asked to do something is unacceptable. If you just stood and allowed her to do this, that's half the problem there. You don't 'suggest' your child does something, you tell them to do it and there are consequences if they don't.

I think 'suggesting' she help around the house was a bit feeble tbh. Did you expect her to say "great idea mum, where do I start?"

You should have told what she needed to do eg "you can clear the table after dinner this week" "feed the dog" or whatever.

Also teach her that owning up when you make a mistake is best rather than being devious and hoping you won't be found out.

The fact that she didn't own up to it and is now sulking about it then yes I'd want there to be consequences. It was an accident but one that happened because she was thoughtless in this instance. I'd stop her pocket money for two weeks to start with, explain why and see how contrite she is.

That’s not a bad idea!

However I still don’t think she should be punished for an accident and I feel perhaps these punishment are why she didn’t tell her mum.

For me, the big issue would not so much the breakage but the not being truthful about what she had done. Schools these days are big into restorative justice so maybe try asking DD what she believes is a just punishment?

Accident or deliberate…….it would be non-admission to causing the damage that would be a deal breaker for me! If they’d confessed immediately then I’d be more forgiving…..to keep quiet would have consequences.

I think contribute something. Even if only a tenner it sends the right message about care.

I would have a serious chat until I was sure she understood. Esp about the need for honesty. No way would I make a ten year old pay for what was essentially an accident.

Accidents happen so no.

I've just thought... you mentioned yiu have other kids too. Was she the only one plating football next to the car or were the others also playing? If not just her, then I think the punishment should be split between them all as they were all complicit, it's just unfortunate she happened to be the one to hit the car.

So for example all 3 kids get 2 weeks pocket money docked.

I definitely wouldn't make them pay the full lot.

Her attitude towards it would ensure that I made her pay the full cost. If she was remotely apologetic, I would only dock a month but the attitude would seal the deal.

This. “Suggested” ? pffffft!

Accidents happen but walking away and sulking off wouldn’t have been tolerated by me!
I’d sit her down when everyone has calmed down and explain the cost implications and take it from there. She either keeps her pocket money but does extra chores around the house, or she loses it for a few weeks. Would she even be bothered by that?
It seems it was an accident but actions have consequences and she needs to understand that.

I don’t think I’d dock her pocket money because it will take her absolutely ages to pay that back.
Also I think of you come down too hard on her she’s less likely to confess to things in the future.

I would explain to her that you were disappointed she didn’t own up straight away and that the reason she is not supposed to play football right next to the car is because stuff like this happens. I would also explain the repair cost and therefore there will be no treats this month because you need the money for the car.

Firstly I’d decide what you are punishing her for? For causing the damage or not telling you or both.
Then decide on the punishment.