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Original poster

Should our 10-year-old contribute to replacing the broken car charge cover?

210 replies

Bdayupset · 29/05/2026 12:42

Hi. Dd, 10, broke the cover off the electric charge point on our lease car. She was playing football right next to the car, even though there is a field joined onto our driveway. Literally, 2 steps away. Where they usually play football.

I suggested she could help me around the house today, but she just sulked off. Also, she didnt tell us about the breakage, we had to find it ourselves.

She gets £5 a week pocket money. Should we make her pay for the replacement? It will be bloody £118! We've already had a lot of expenses come up this month, and spent a lot of money ok them (2 ds also) as it's been half term.

What would you do?

Thanks!

OP posts:
Sirzy · 29/05/2026 19:51

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At no point have I said that. I have actually said at least twice I would expect her to pay towards it with half pocket money for a few weeks. So paying £10 or £20 towards it.

it is important to teach children that actions have consequences. We aren’t doing them any favours to just ignore everything.

edited to add one of those posts was on this page so you hardly have to read back far!

Costatesco · 29/05/2026 19:48

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GooseCreekandtheRiver · 29/05/2026 19:41

DemelzaandRoss · 29/05/2026 19:05

Nobody is perfect not even the OP. Do you impose a fine on yourself if you break a mug, vase etc etc.
This was accidental.
I would certainly not dock pocket money. If you do you are setting a precedent for all future breakages with all the family. It would be unfair to penalise this DC & not any others.

That’s a daft argument 😅

Yes, if you kick a football and break someone’s mug or vase the “fine imposed” is that you pay to replace it.

Anarchy99 · 29/05/2026 19:13

DemelzaandRoss · 29/05/2026 19:05

Nobody is perfect not even the OP. Do you impose a fine on yourself if you break a mug, vase etc etc.
This was accidental.
I would certainly not dock pocket money. If you do you are setting a precedent for all future breakages with all the family. It would be unfair to penalise this DC & not any others.

If it didn’t belong to me then yes I would pay for it

Sirzy · 29/05/2026 19:10

DemelzaandRoss · 29/05/2026 19:05

Nobody is perfect not even the OP. Do you impose a fine on yourself if you break a mug, vase etc etc.
This was accidental.
I would certainly not dock pocket money. If you do you are setting a precedent for all future breakages with all the family. It would be unfair to penalise this DC & not any others.

Well as an adult I find if I break something I have to pay for a replacement. Unless I am doing something wrong and a magic fairy will come and provide new ones for free?

DemelzaandRoss · 29/05/2026 19:05

Nobody is perfect not even the OP. Do you impose a fine on yourself if you break a mug, vase etc etc.
This was accidental.
I would certainly not dock pocket money. If you do you are setting a precedent for all future breakages with all the family. It would be unfair to penalise this DC & not any others.

Northermcharn · 29/05/2026 18:32

Balloonhearts · 29/05/2026 17:40

Accident or not, there are still consequences. Why do you think insurance exists? She did something stupid, she is more than old enough to know better and it has cost her parents a lot of money. Rather than apologise, she has copped an attitude. Its disgusting behaviour.

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wow

Costatesco · 29/05/2026 18:28

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Sirzy · 29/05/2026 18:27

Flamingojune · 29/05/2026 18:24

Could she play roblox indoors instead? Or could you be happy you have an active child and not punish her for it

She isn’t being punished for being active.

She is being asked to take responsibility for an accident of her causing from playing where she shouldn’t and for then not admitting it.

10 isn’t too young to realise actions have consequences. Paying £10/£20 out of pocket money towards the repair is fair and reasonable.

GooseCreekandtheRiver · 29/05/2026 18:26

For those saying “but she’s only 10. She doesn’t know any better” … the age of criminal responsibility in England, Wales and NI is 10.

Now, of course I am not suggesting in any way that it’s a criminal act, but it’s surely a bloody good benchmark about what age we expect a child to apply some sense and also to know right from wrong?

Flamingojune · 29/05/2026 18:24

Could she play roblox indoors instead? Or could you be happy you have an active child and not punish her for it

Anarchy99 · 29/05/2026 17:59

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23.5 weeks actually - not even half a year!

Costatesco · 29/05/2026 17:56

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CinnamonBuns67 · 29/05/2026 17:50

Yes she broke it, she replaces it. I'd not give her any pocket money until she'd paid it back.

Lmnop22 · 29/05/2026 17:48

Anarchy99 · 29/05/2026 17:23

Do you have to explain everything your child shouldn’t do then?

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Obviously not but an accident even if thoughtless resulting in damage a 10 year old likely didn’t foresee is clearly not the same as deliberate disobedience leading to the outcome you’ve warned about and which 10 year old therefore understood

Balloonhearts · 29/05/2026 17:40

Northermcharn · 29/05/2026 17:36

I can't believe what I'm reading here. No wonder these kids don't understand right from wrong, when parents can't. She's 10. It was an accident ffs.

Accident or not, there are still consequences. Why do you think insurance exists? She did something stupid, she is more than old enough to know better and it has cost her parents a lot of money. Rather than apologise, she has copped an attitude. Its disgusting behaviour.

Northermcharn · 29/05/2026 17:36

I can't believe what I'm reading here. No wonder these kids don't understand right from wrong, when parents can't. She's 10. It was an accident ffs.

Anarchy99 · 29/05/2026 17:23

Lmnop22 · 29/05/2026 17:17

But doesn’t sound like OP told her not to play football there at all, just that there’s a field which could have been chosen - if told not to play there because she might damage the cars/charger and did it anyway that’s a bit different.

But either way she’s 10 and it was an accident!

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Do you have to explain everything your child shouldn’t do then?

amber763 · 29/05/2026 17:19

She's only 10 and it was an accident.

Lmnop22 · 29/05/2026 17:17

Ineffable23 · 29/05/2026 13:10

But it's an accident that has only happened because she's been playing football near the car? E.g. we loved playing with bouncy balls when we were little but we weren't allowed to play with them where they could bounce into the TV. If we had, it would still have been an accident but it would have been a preventable one?

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But doesn’t sound like OP told her not to play football there at all, just that there’s a field which could have been chosen - if told not to play there because she might damage the cars/charger and did it anyway that’s a bit different.

But either way she’s 10 and it was an accident!

sesquipedalian · 29/05/2026 17:06

OP, I’d point out the damage, say you know it was an accident but it will cost £118 to put right, and ask your DD what she suggests - should she lose pocket money, or do jobs round the house that represent an agreed amount? I certainly wouldn’t expect her to pay off the whole debt - she was careless rather than malicious - and I would also counsel against leaving children with no money, because it puts them in a difficult situation with their friends if they have money and your DD doesn’t. I have known children only slightly older than your DD who have stolen because they had no money. So in essence, I think some repayment is due, even if only a token amount or chores to cover it, but no point being too draconian or making DD’s life impossible.

Tryagain26 · 29/05/2026 16:41

GooseCreekandtheRiver · 29/05/2026 16:25

From the OP “there is a field joined onto our driveway. Literally, 2 steps away”.

Not many parents monitor the location of a 10 year old to within 2 steps.

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I would still want to know if my child was on my drive or in what is presumably a public field, just as I would want to know if they were on the drive in my garden or in the street which is also attached to my driveway and a couple of steps away.

GooseCreekandtheRiver · 29/05/2026 16:25

Tryagain26 · 29/05/2026 16:18

At 10 you should know whether your child is in a field or on the drive. It's not micromanaging it is being aware where your child is.

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From the OP “there is a field joined onto our driveway. Literally, 2 steps away”.

Not many parents monitor the location of a 10 year old to within 2 steps.

Tryagain26 · 29/05/2026 16:18

NoctuaAthene · 29/05/2026 13:32

Surely by 10 you don't watch them every minute of the day and micromanage to this extent though? If OP thought she was either playing football in the field or playing a quieter game on the drive, how was she to anticipate the kid was actually kicking a football at the car charger?

I guess the alternative consequence I would give for an older child that had been really careless and damaged something valuable (if I didn't want to do the docking pocket money or extra chores thing) is to not let them go off to play independently and make them stay where I can see them, more as you would a younger child - but the trouble with that is it's a right PITA for you as the parent, having to deal with a bored and moany child all day and not be able to send them off for some exercise and to burn off energy until I was there to supervise, no thanks!

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At 10 you should know whether your child is in a field or on the drive. It's not micromanaging it is being aware where your child is.

Northermcharn · 29/05/2026 16:06

Are you joking? It was an accident. Poor kid.