AIBU to keep personal problems private rather than tell my manager?

You don’t need to confide as though your manager is a friend, but if something is affecting your work, professionalism means you owe an explanation. ‘X, I just wanted to let you know that if I seem distracted, it’s because I have something difficult going on at home.’

You don't need to tell your manager all the details of the situation. But it sounds sensible to say something like "I have a family situation at the moment that is quite stressful. I wanted to let you know and suggest that for the next two weeks I [do back office tasks and less customer facing work/avoid leading group workshop/whatever seems relevant to your job but also reasonable for our workplace]

If you are snapping at people and not concentrating, then it is impacting your work and you would be sensible to proactively do something about it.

Many large companies have an employee assistance programme (EAP) which allows you to access some support like counselling or group therapy with external providers. So that might be worth looking up in any HR info packs/Internal website.

As a manager I would hope my staff felt able to let me know in general terms so I could put support in place if necessary such as allowing you to leave early/come in later, work in a quieter area etc. It also makes it easier to quash any comments from other team members.

I'm very open with my line managers and they're very open with their support accordingly. They're really excellent managers though, who care enormously about their team. The best I've had in all my long working life.

I personally would and do, but I know not all managers are good, my husbands been ill so i’ve been stressed, so I told them as I knew my work may suffer and I may need to leave with short notice etc.

I hope you’re okay.

I'd preempt it and ask my mananger if I could 'have headphones/work in a seperate office/whatever' as I am finding the lack of ability to concentrate at work difficult and don't want to get snappy at people for interrupting me.

I'd also just, not get snappy. You have identified the issue so own the solution. Take a few breaths and then respond. Go use the loo and take a break.

It would be worse if your manager approached you about a slip in your work. Much better to own it. Much more professional. You could ask if there is an employee assistance program (EAP) you could have the details for in case you need it. They usually provide a p&c listening service or mental health/wellbeing service or can get the support you might need confidentially. Then it shows you are being proactive about your situation too.

If it's affecting how you are at work, i think you need to say something but I don't think you need to give lots of detail. just say you are having some personal difficulties right now.

If it's affecting your work in any way, yes, of course you need to mention it.
Obviously depends upon the severity of whatever is happening and your workplace.

Eg. if your child (for example) is having school issues and you're having to field extra 'phone calls from the school, a mild mention of a temporary problem which might necessitate some extra calls is OK.

Or (for example) you have something major going on which is making you snappy (ill relative, or personal illness and in great pain/worry etc) AND you're in a customer facing role....yes, you are going to have to have a conversation with your manager. You can't be snapping at customers and making mistakes in your job because you're upset, without some sort of explanation.

Nothing to do with whether it's 'private' or not, your manager needs to know enough about what's going on, how it might affect your work and for how long this might be....or some suggestions as to how you might resolve it.
Your manager expects you to be doing your job to the best of your ability, but if something is altering that, they need to know, and you also have an expectation of some supportive understanding.

I think it depends how much its impacting your work and whether its creating problems for others.

When I was going through a divorce I did tell my managers because I was having to take a lot of calls during the working day and my ex husband’s behaviour meant I had no support with childcare so had to leave work early. If I hadn’t explained this it could’ve led to disciplinary issues for me.

But I would only share personal issues if they relate directly to my job. I would hate to share just for the sake of it. I’m uncomfortable with work cultures where people are expected to share their personal lives.

Is your manager a reasonable human being? If so then I would open up. If uncomfortable maybe start off vague. Say you are going through some personal issues and you think it is impacting your work and just wanted to flag. You can then say you are a naturally private person but can expand if required. That way you may not have to. Some managers would want to help. Others may appreciate the out!

You are not BU to keep personal problems private.

But you are not keeping them private if they are overspilling into your behaviour at work.
You don't have to tell everyone every little detail. You can literally say "I'm sorry I was a bit snappy; I have some personal issues at the moment. I will try not to let them affect my behaviour at work". If you're unable to prevent it affecting your work behaviour, perhaps you should look into getting signed off?

I think that if you’re snapping at people then they deserve a slight explanation - not details, just “sorry I snapped earlier, got some stuff going on at home and I’m not feeling myself”