Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel upset I’m no better off after personal stylist?

190 replies

Annie2163 · 29/05/2026 07:16

I had a personal stylist appointment from a big departmental store thinking they would help me pick out a few outfits to make me feel good about myself as I have a few events coming up I’m nervous for. DH looked after the kids to give me time and space for this appointment (he rarely looks after them so a big surprise for me). I had really high hopes but I’m left really disappointed. I explained my style to her and even the clothes I wouldn’t wear I told her when she showed to me but I still tried on. I ended up buying 3 dresses, 3 tops and 2 trousers. It cost a lot of money as they not cheap and I felt the tailoring and fabric of expensive clothes would suit (as she told be they would). I’ve had them for a few days now and I’m not happy and I want to return. I FaceTimed my sister to show her and she agrees they don’t suit me. She thinks one dress is okay and I should keep (this dress is £190) the other 2 she said are awful as they really show the fat on my tummy whilst the other one kind of hides it with the pleats etc.

I am really upset about wasting my time and money. I kept telling the stylist my areas of concern and she kept brushing me off saying I’m probably brainwashed by social media thinking of the perfect body should look like and my body is great. But surely accentuating my worst feature (my tummy area) is not good? The rest of my body I like such as my arms and legs. I just feel I could have done a better job at picking up some pieces from cheaper brands and look better. I have no family or friends here to look after the kids so this was such a treat for me. I have to return the clothes and just look online. Has anyone actually used a personal stylist and gone away with nice clothes? My first event is next week I’m really dreading it. I’ll probably just won’t go as usual.

edited for all the typos! Sorry!

OP posts:
Original poster
Annie2163 · 29/05/2026 07:49

NorWouldTilly · 29/05/2026 07:45

Start a new thread in Style and Beauty, @Annie2163.

I’m sorry the appointment didn’t go well for you. But it does sound as if you have a few other worries.

Have you only recently moved to the areas you live in? (As you mention your husband’s new job.) It can be hard bringing up children if you’re isolated from both family and friends. Possibly your children aren’t school age yet - in which case you may make some connections once they start.

It’s problematic if your husband rarely looks after his own children - whatever the reason. Is there a way to address this? You’d feel a lot less stressed if you had more free time to yourself.

It might be an idea to see your GP regarding the weight on your stomach. If there’s no medical issue they should be able to direct you to the best places to help sort it out. But ask yourself why you are ‘stress eating’. (I think you’ve given us a clue …) Regularly missing events because of your body is something you need to get on top of as soon as possible. It’s not good for you, and it’s not good for your children if you seem ‘out of things’. And it compounds your husband’s lack of respect towards you.

Do try S&B!

Edited

Thank you. My kids are 6 and 9 so both in primary school but I still rarely get time to myself as i work full time. Yes we moved 2 years ago and husband has moved sectors so started new job this month. Thank you for your kind words.

OP posts:
Notsosweetcaroline · 29/05/2026 07:47

Can you post images of you in the dresses, just don’t show your face/head?

NorWouldTilly · 29/05/2026 07:45

Start a new thread in Style and Beauty, @Annie2163.

I’m sorry the appointment didn’t go well for you. But it does sound as if you have a few other worries.

Have you only recently moved to the areas you live in? (As you mention your husband’s new job.) It can be hard bringing up children if you’re isolated from both family and friends. Possibly your children aren’t school age yet - in which case you may make some connections once they start.

It’s problematic if your husband rarely looks after his own children - whatever the reason. Is there a way to address this? You’d feel a lot less stressed if you had more free time to yourself.

It might be an idea to see your GP regarding the weight on your stomach. If there’s no medical issue they should be able to direct you to the best places to help sort it out. But ask yourself why you are ‘stress eating’. (I think you’ve given us a clue …) Regularly missing events because of your body is something you need to get on top of as soon as possible. It’s not good for you, and it’s not good for your children if you seem ‘out of things’. And it compounds your husband’s lack of respect towards you.

Do try S&B!

Original poster
Annie2163 · 29/05/2026 07:43

CerseisWig · 29/05/2026 07:39

You have a dh problem. But yes return them all.

Are you on medication? Have you spoken to the Dr about your stomach? It could be water retention or anything? Mine has gone down with exercise and possibly taking magnesium? Best to get it checked if you haven't though.

It’s stress eating. My diet is very bad. I don’t think it’s anything medically wrong as I tend to hold weight on ny tummy area

OP posts:
Esmeraldathe3rd · 29/05/2026 07:42

Definitely take them back. Have you tried spanx type stuff. Or something corseted. You're slim but it sounds like your belly needs support.

Given you've had kids and you say the rest of you is slim I'd say your belly probably isn't fat, but your muscles have been weakened by the pregnancies and aren't holding you in.

If your husband has such a problem with your appearance (🙄 prick) will he have the kids so you can go to the gym? If not, you could do some home workouts focusing on your belly, there are lots routines on the internet targeting strengthening your core after pregnancy. It's important and will benefit your health as well as your mental health.

CerseisWig · 29/05/2026 07:39

You have a dh problem. But yes return them all.

Are you on medication? Have you spoken to the Dr about your stomach? It could be water retention or anything? Mine has gone down with exercise and possibly taking magnesium? Best to get it checked if you haven't though.

VerityUnreasonble · 29/05/2026 07:39

If you make a post on style and beauty OP you'll get lots of advice, its helpful if you include things like dress size, height, any strong preferences around things like colours / patterns, what you feel your best and worst areas are, the sort of events you want clothes for and budget (so if say you have £500 to spend on 3 outfits or whatever). It might be helpful to include a link to the dress you like and are keeping to give an idea of the sort of things you prefer.

There are lots of posters on the S&B board who are very good at finding and suggesting clothes!

EmeraldShamrock000 · 29/05/2026 07:36

Pop over to the style and beauty threads, they’ll help you find the perfect outfit.

Original poster
Annie2163 · 29/05/2026 07:34

@CurlsLDN thank you for your kind words and breaking it down for me. Yes you are right I am feeling really mixed up with everything. I do have depression and anxiety. My DH is not supportive. Since I got bigger after kids he’s not been nice to me so these events were my way to look nice I think for him. I see the way he looks and compares me to others. He’s often said to me he wishes I was like other women and more self assured. I had really high hopes for this styling session but I really can’t wear the dresses! One literally looks like I’m 6 months pregnant as it’s tight on the stomach area so shows everything

OP posts:
CurlsLDN · 29/05/2026 07:30

Hi op, it sounds like there’s a lot going on here and you’re feeling really down about it. I’m sorry, be kind to yourself! It might help to untangle the threads a bit as it sounds like from your post that it’s all got tangled up.

so here’s what I see

  1. the stylist was young and inexperienced and didnt meet your needs. That’s disappointing and not the outcome anyone would want from such a treat, but doesn’t mean all stylists are the same. I’m sorry your appointment was disappointing.
  2. having had some time to get used to them you don’t like most of the clothes - ok, take them back and get a refund, nothing lost.
  3. you are nervous about the event - have you said this to your husband? Perhaps he can help you to feel more supported and confident. Maybe once you have the refund the two of you could have some fun picking out some clothes online to try. His picks might be dreadful but he might surprise you!
  4. you probably won’t go to the event, because you’re feeling bad about all of the above. Can you see that nothing above is actually anything to do with the event, and that your negative feelings about it are all mixed up with other things? youre thinking the worst, but what if you go to the event, have a nice time and it all goes right?
Original poster
Annie2163 · 29/05/2026 07:27

Thank you @Rocketpants50 @scoobydeedoo

shall I post my size here or personal stylist board?

my size is 12 in tops and dresses, 14 in trousers. I don’t know what my body shape is but my face, arms and legs are slim and all the weight is on my stomach area. Some people who don’t know me assume I’m pregnant! Which is embarrassing so I’ve stopped going to events. I have 2 formal dinners coming up, a family barbecue in a garden where everyone will be dressed in tea dresses type and a lunch with husbands new job colleagues. I’m dreading the formal and lunch with husbands colleagues. I’m feeling really low about self and usually just want to hide at events. My confidence is rock bottom

OP posts:
scoobydeedoo · 29/05/2026 07:22

Absolutely return the clothes you don't like if you can, I'm guessing you spent a lot of money and it would all be wasted if you didn't get something you absolutely loved and felt amazing in.

I've never had a personal styling session but I very much know my no-goes clothing wise (absolutely nothing that doesn't have at least a half-sleeve) so I would be really unimpressed if I stipulated this and they came back with everything sleeveless.

Rocketpants50 · 29/05/2026 07:22

Return.
Put on here what size, shape you are, what you want to cover, likes etc... there are some great people on here which will come up with some recommendations. Have found some fabulous items by suggestions on here.

Original poster
Annie2163 · 29/05/2026 07:22

Middlechild3 · 29/05/2026 07:19

Return the items!

I agree! I feel so upset. This wasn’t a cheap thing. I spent so much money. The stylist was really young and seemed really inexperienced at what I was asking - clothes that make me feel confident and don’t accentuate my stomach area.?

OP posts:
Middlechild3 · 29/05/2026 07:19

Return the items!