To feel upset I’m no better off after personal stylist?

You’d probably find the stress eating would reduce if you ditched your dick of a husband…

Return the clothes and I’d honestly also complain to whoever provided the appointment. Just explain you expected to leave with clothes that made you feel more confident but felt pushed into buying ones that don’t even suit your shape.

She says she bought them a few days ago
she has tried them on

apologies but it is a typical and incorrect AI response

Were you hoping for too much op? They basically just suggest things to wear. It’s not going to solve how you feel about yourself. Would counselling be better?

She sounds pushy and not good. When I saw a stylist at John Lewis she understood both my style and what suited me very well. I only bought two items but I am still wearing them both nearly ten years later. Don't let her or the ill fitting clothes ruin your confidence. Send back what doesn't suit and enjoy the one dress that does work well.

sympathy OP (can’t tag) it’s because body positivity has gone too far In my opinion! people walk round in all sorts nowadays I’m not elderly I’ve literally heard a shop assistant saying “don’t let social media make you think xyz” when a customer has a valid point, so people are wearing items which accentuate what they’d be best downplaying, which is fine if that’s what you want but you don’t and neither do I! honestly if a personal stylist can’t get that then there’s no hope! I remember Trinny and Susannah had a thing about “wear something fitted over tummy so everyone can see it’s not that big” whereas their client wasn’t comfortable doing that, there’s no way I’d do that coz I don’t want to look pregnant (diastasis recti) and lot’s of ladies don’t want to. I agree to return clothes where possible and try again on the style and beauty board.

How rude you are! I wouldn't have a clue how to use AI to compose my posts.
What compelled you to such an unnecessarily unpleasant response to a mildly written, non controversial posts about consumer rights? Some need in you to belittle someone?
There is nothing I've written that is 'tosh'. Its not clear from the OP whether she has worn the garments as part of trying to become accustomed to them. There is no returns policy I'm aware of that allows for the return of worn garments unless they are faulty.
This is a thread about shopping, I've no interest in engaging in arguments with people spoiling for fights over nothing. So we'll leave that there.

Go and see a GP if you have a large stomach and thin arms and legs etc. I had this and it was a large ovarian cyst. I had people asking if I was pregnant when I wasn't. Get it checked out. An ultrasound can rule out any issues.

sounds like to have a dh problem.

you are only size 12-14. you are not fat unless you are only 4 foot tall so what is dh comparing you to others for? he took the kids so you can get a rare break - to make yourself look good in nice clothes that HE will enjoy looking at you in and resolve your loss of confidence HE has caused in the first place by bitching about your figure.

what a prince.

youve birthed four children. of course your body looks different. it’s normal.

take the clothes you hate back. id suggest you get another personal shopper appointment elsewhere - and take your best friend or sister with you so you really know what suits you.

are you a SAHM because if so i’d suggest you consider your options to get out and about more and have a life and confidence. exercise and counselling would help too. if a part time job could be fitted in round school hours and dh does a bit more childcare (maybe pickup and drop off etc) that would help facilitate a gym membership or whatever.

id not be havimg any more babies woth a man that calls me fat after birthing his kid. Four times. I’d not want him near me tbh. He doesn’t sound caring but perhaps im misjudging as i dont have much info, but i’m not the only one thinking hes the problem…

I'm not entirely surprised by your experience as even the so called fashion experts on TV style shows do some shocking makeovers.

It's a shame your treat was spoiled though and definitely take the items back. I'd even take the dress back as even if it looks the best of a bad bunch, you'll probably always feel negative about it because of the bad experience. Pop over to the style dnd beauty boards on MN for some advice over there.

I’m glad you are getting help here. I was going to ask if you could arrange another trip to the shops when your sister might have time to FaceTime (or zoom) with you to help you choose before you buy.

This style is flattering if you have a bit of a tummy. Also flowery dresses help to hide a tummy also buy a pair of girl pants to hold tummy in.
look on Vinted for styles.

Get onto Style and Beauty for help with an outfit, but I think what you really need is to get over to Relationships as that seems to me to be the real issue.

You can find yourself a fabulous outfit and strangers on here will see how lovely you look, but with a husband at home not supporting you the self doubt will creep in. I'm not a style expert but the women I see who look fabulous are the ones with inner confidence, even if I hate what they are actually wearing and their body shape is far from supermodel, I think they look amazing.

Out of interest, do you look at other women and think 'nice dress but look at that awful stomach'? Bet you don't!

Is this some AI bot post? Or chat gpt?
total tosh
she went to a uk department store- return policy for any reason will be generous

Assume
it is John lewis or Selfridges

John Lewis are are loved my Mumsnet and always suggested alongside a spa day
In reality they are typically poor. I see lots of people on them and just want to scream no!
You only have to look at the reviews their stylists post of themselves against certain products to see that many don’t have a clue
The stylists dressed up promos / fake reviews have put me off so many items

Self esteem and Dh is the issue here and clothes won’t fix that. I think I’d spend the money on a good counsellor to work on your confidence.

Agree that mners will help with the clothes so go and post some qs there.

agree that some exercise/ core work might help too.

re eating - start to do some simple swaps. You’re not aiming to loose weight but eat more healthy foods which will help belly fat and might also help mood.

From a sensory perspective, chewing is a very common de stressor. I work with children with send and the OTs often suggest crunchy food or even ice. Always apples. a teaching colleague needs to chew and uses chewing gum. The food industry has designed many foods to be sensory experiences which we crave more of.

I like crunch and will snack on almonds and cashews. And pumpkin seeds too. I adore chocolate so upped it to 70 and then 85 or even 90 to get that hit. (Cadburies is now too sweet.)

instead of crisps, rice cakes or oat cakes with some apple cider vinegar and olive oil.

Try to swap to more low fat protein with high fibre. Both are more filling and help gut bacteria. It’s also thought they can help mood as a result . More fibre helps to balance hormones which may be contributing to belly fat. Ground flax seeds, pumpkin seeds , oats, brown rice, nuts, beans are all really good sources of protein and fibre.

You won’t manage it all at once; just change the odd thing here and there and week you’ll find new habits. eg spend a day reaching for a few almonds and pumpkin seeds instead of what you know is shit. (Obviously not near anyone with allergies!)

(you can grind your own flax seeds in a coffee grinder which is much cheaper. X2 tbs a day is recommended. I put mine on porridge with yogurt. The bonus is that they make your skin nicer!)

You could try returning the clothes. However, if you're in the UK, it's doubtful the law would be on your side as typically you only have the right to return garments in specific circumstances, and are otherwise relying on the good will of the retailer.
Most would not have a policy where you could wear the garments for a time and return if you still didn't like them. You can see this would be open to abuse as people would return items for refunds after wearing for an occasion.
Your contract with the stylist may have given you additional rights, perhaps, but you need to check the small print. Otherwise you may only be able to return the unworn items.
If this leaves you with things you don't like, then you could try experimenting by pairing them with different items. So a dress that doesn't hang well over your stomach may still work with a cardigan/jacket. Something that's not 'you' could feel more comfortable paired with something that is. Like the new trousers with a top you love.

I had a very similar experience in John Lewis a few years ago. There's a description of the stylists when you go to book and I think I the one I wanted wasn't available at the time I could do. Nothing I was shown was me, apart from one Ted Baker top which I bought then returned almost immediately because I realised I already had something very similar that hadn't cost £70!

The person I saw was young, didn't get me, suggested shapes and colours that didn't work for my body type or colouring. Very disappointing.

OP you sound so self-critical and low about your appearance. Please recognise that this is a current self-esteem issue and not that you are in some way unacceptably unattractive. It’s awful that you are dreading events because you think you don’t look good.

Definitely return the clothes. To be honest, I would return them in person, ask to speak to a manager and say how disappointing the appointment was and what can they do about it to improve your terrible impression of the store.

I am not a style and beauty person at all but I know the board here is wonderful and people put lots of effort into helping people in exactly the situation you are describing.

I would really try to change my self-talk if I felt like you do. There is no way people will be judging you as you imagine. Very best of luck in finding suitable things.

Your DH sounds really horrible, I’m sorry OP. You’ve given birth to your kids and you’re obviously having a tough time, please give yourself some care and love.

The stylist appointment sounds rubbish, but it sounds like it’s dredged up your feelings of insecurity.

Given you have one dress you like, can you spend some of the money you get returned from the other items on a treat for yourself before the next event? Pedicure, hair cut or massage? Then wear that dress for your garden party. Can you take your sister shopping with you next time instead? Or a friend? Have lunch or coffee and take a break from the kids. Tell your husband he needs to take them for the day.

Also I would be having serious words with your husband about how he talks to you - it’s actually quite shocking.

Hope you feel better soon OP.

I can't advise on the other issues going on for you.

I DEFINITELY can't find outfits for you, at I'm rubbish at doing it for myself.

I came to say not every personal stylist is the same. I've used a lot over the years (see second sentence). I still wear clothes the really good ones selected years ago. I never buy clothes from the naff ones who don't listen.

My appointments are booked with John Lewis now. I always used to go to Debenhams - they were brilliant as the clothes were a range of prices. I'm not sure if any other shops offer these appointments for free.

Hopefully the S&B board will help you find something you feel fabulous in for the first event.

So he compares you to others and is horrible to you but wishes you were more self-assured? This is abusive. What an asshole. 💐 Can you return him? 😡

Sounds like you need to gain a bit of confidence back in your life- how much time do you have for yourself? Maybe if your husband wants you to be like all those others maybe he needs to make sure you have time for you.