To feel upset I’m no better off after personal stylist?

If only it was that easy, the entire weight loss industry wouldn't exist if it were that simple!

What a massively unhelpful response to someone struggling with depression, body image issues and an unsupportive partner. Feel better about yourself now?

I 2nd portion control of carbs, and cutting out as much refined sugar as possible. Aim for healthy not body that idiot husband will enjoy more... do it for you op!

Sorry to hear your husband has made you feel so bad that this is the outcome, you need to be strong and tell that man that you had his kids! of course your body will not stay the same!

How dare he compare you. Make sure you both come up with a plan that includes respect and time for you on a weekly basis!

Return the items. If you don;t fee comfortable in them you won't wear them. It sounds like the personal stylist was inexperienced.

my size is 12 in tops and dresses, 14 in trousers. I don’t know what my body shape is but my face, arms and legs are slim and all the weight is on my stomach area.

I understand this. I'm a size smaller on top (especially my shoulders) than I am on the bottom with my tummy area being the problem area. This makes dresses particularly difficult. The brands that I have found that suit me and make me feel good about myself are Paige (very expensive as the dress I have is silk but it is so work it, Sandro (more form fitting but the fabric drapes in the right place to minimise my tummy) and some Seasalt styles. Usually styles with soft folds or ruching around the stomach area. Also some Uniqglo styles. For other clothes I tend to veer towards Mango, Uniqglo, some Ralph Lauren and Hobbs.

Op - just wanted you to say that I’ve been where you are with regard to lack of body confidence and your DH sounds very similar indeed to my ex. I can’t emphasise enough how much his words, actions, lack of care and comparisons will be a contributing factor to how you feel. It’s the drip effect whilst you are shouldering all the emotional and practical load of parenting. In my case it just got worse and worse as time went on. It is rejection and cruelty from the one person who should have your back and raise you up. It took many years for me to dig deep and leave and the peace I have now is incomparable. I still have body confidence issues but the absence of someone criticising me daily has made a huge difference to how I address these, how I feel in my own home, developing boundaries, who I choose to see and what I choose to wear etc. i started writing down his comments at one stage and it makes me so sad to now look back at what I put up with and how it became internalised blame. For me, a real epiphany was thinking I never want my child to feel like this in a relationship. Finding a good counsellor to help might give you some much needed space to reflect.

With regard to clothing, Whistles is a good go to for good quality fabrics in more flattering styles if you are more of an apple shape. At the cheaper end New Look is great for dresses. Accessories are definitely key and where you can splurge, getting hair, make up & nails etc. done really help you feel good.

There is another option too - just don’t go! We are so conditioned to be people pleasers, especially when lacking confidence. I’ve found I’m much better at declining things as I’ve got older. It is truly liberating. A simple excuse usually does the trick and voila you instantly feel the stress lift. Instead enjoy taking the kids somewhere you all like, no pressure, no-one scrutinising your appearance just fun! I recommend it! x

Melissa Murrell is the stylist in the video I linked above, and I second looking at her shop as well as her videos.

OP, please don't take offense but I think the problem isn't the clothes but you seem to be suffering from low self esteem which is giving you anxiety.
Take the clothes back if you need to and choose some more. If you could get another stylist that would be good but she should only be helping you, not making final decision.
I have a similar shape to you and am conscious of my pot tummy. Remember it always looks worse to you as you are looking downwards. Before you shop have a look at other women and you will notice a lot of us have a tummy. I have tried control top underwater in the past but find them uncomfortable. I like layered dresses (especially layered diagnal) and tops and jackets that graze the hip line.

They can only bring out the clothes they have in store. I had a styling session at John Lewis, the clothes were so expensive I ran away. They also wanted to put me in drab Hush dresses and trainers. It just wasn't stylish enough for me. Try something like a Melissa Murrell online shop instead.

I knew from the comment that your DH never looks after his own kids in your first post that it would transpire he's an arsehole.

You don't have a wardrobe problem, you have a DH problem. Ditch him and see how quickly you feel better about yourself.

I was thinking about doing this, then looked in the mirror and thought: cut out all bread, cake and stick to a minimal portion, in 3 months go to Primark, size 8 and all clothes will look divine on you. Size 8 with hourglass figure and massive boobs

There are lots of YouTube stylists who focus on dressing for certain body types and cover current high street fashion. I would start looking at some of them to figure out what styles work and what doesn’t for your body, which I am guessing is an “apple”. Just try searching “dressing for apple shapes” and see what outfits they recommend and what you like. I really hope you find some nice outfits that make you feel a million dollars! Your H sounds like a total dick.

edit to add: This lady on YouTube is pretty good. The video is a bit old, but good tips for large bust/apple tummy/slender legs/size 14.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Uak_fyXUpd8&pp=ygUaRHJlc3NpbmcgZm9yIGFuIGFwcGxlIGJvZHk%3D&ra=m

Return the stuff and trust your own judgement. No one knows your body and your preferences better than you.

Reminds me of when I took a make up course 20 years ago. The tutor was "the expert" and kept insisting bright red lipstick was the only evening look which I could possibly wear. I look RIDICULOUS in any sort of red lipstick. I look like I have no lips at all, and look like a kid playing dress up/like a clown. I kept telling her a dusky rose or even soft candy pink suits me so much better but she wouldn't have it.

I find so many of these experts simply push their own agenda onto us.

Trust yourself!

One way the DH might encourage self confidence would be to reassure the Op of his affection and not compare her to other women. But that’s off topic.
S&B contributors will hopefully be able to give you a bit of help Op.

Buyer's remorse. No-one forced you to buy the items.

@Annie2163
So sorry you feel this way and are suffering with depression.

Just wanted to say - you said your DH wished you were more self assured - not slimmer/better dressed etc, but self assured - which is about your attitude and mood, not about your appearance.

It feels like you feel insecure about how you look, so you're projecting this externally. Which is entirely understandable and normal, but generally leads to the wrong solutions.

In your wardrobe do you have something, even just one thing, that makes you feel comfortable and good about yourself?
Wear that. Go to the events. Remember that others are not as interested in us, nor are they judging us as we believe, because they're busy having all the same worries about themselves.

Depression is a horrible thing, but it sounds like you would benefit more from getting treatment/therapy/medication for that than you would from getting style advice, as it doesn't sound to me like your style is the actual problem.

And if, once you've got the depression under control, you did want to make changes, you'd find it way easier then, because the nature of depression is that it makes everything far more difficult and scary than it would be otherwise.

Best of luck.

Have you tried the dresses in with shapewear if you’re concerned about your stomach?

Edited to add - if you don’t like them take them back but better undies might make you feel more confident.

Also your DH is an arsehole

I left my latest JL appointment before it had even begun! They had basically forgotten I was coming, not read the notes you fill in before hand and the stylist didn't look stylish. She looked at me and asked in a silly voice what kind of thing I was after!
I emailed JL and nothing back.
Poor.

Return the clothes and the good ladies of MN will sort you out!

I think maybe what the stylist was thinking was that if your figure is generally thin, don't hide in tents because of a bit of a bulge that others probably don't think is bad at all.

But, while that can look objectively better, it's the wearer who battles body confidence and you need to take that into consideration in what you choose. It's abut feeling good not just looking objectively better,

Hi @Annie2163 , I can’t see that anyone else has also suggested this, but as a fellow apple, who’s weight has fluctuated, I would also suggest some decent shapewear - that has been the only thing which has given me body confidence in formal situations. I have found shapermint camis or shorts incredibly good. They may need some effort to get in, but they really hold and shape well and don’t roll down. You have to be okay with the sensation of being held in, but I find that a flatter tummy as a result makes it all worthwhile!

I also find separates a preference too, like you my top and bottom are different sizes and I rarely find dresses which therefore fit both well. That’s just my preference though!

Start two new threads, one in S&B for the clothes and one in Relationships to deal with your DH issues.

Post links to both here.

You'll get more useful advice if people aren't trying to address both (although they are linked!)

@Annie2163 Can you not attend some of those events? Work out an exit strategy.

Some really good examples of dress types here

Apple Shaped Body Dress Style Guide 2026 - Ever-Pretty UK https://share.google/sDwd1w7YvSsiUCjtI

I don't think this is about a stylist. Can you book a few sessions with a reputabe therapist to get some support?

Re the clothes, I've done this over the years. Some good, some lousy experiences.

I think wide leg trousers and nice tops/good shoes/ good hair can be a lift.
Also a massage.

I went to 2 separate appointments, one with my mum and one with my MIL when they were looking for dresses for our wedding. Their style and colouring is completely different, so is their height and shape, all this was noted on the booking form
They pulled pretty much the same dresses from the same brands, I'm almost certain they get commission from these brands and that's why they're pulled, they're not personal at all.