To feel upset I’m no better off after personal stylist?

Is this another chat gbt post?

I wish people would stop using AI for posts.

I'm feeling so sorry for you. What a huge disappointment after making time and spending money like this... And your expectations! You've put me off doing such a thing. Return the clothes and go shopping on your own with the money. If you've got a supportive husband, he'll look after the kids for one day.

KPI = Key performance indicators
Conversion rate = how many of your customers buy stuff
ATV = Average transaction value.

Really good salespeople pay close attention to what you want, assess what you need, which may not be the same thing, and find solutions to meet the need and surpass the want. Young fashion assistants may not be getting very good training, so they'd be likely to try and push you towards whatever they've been told to sell more of.

Do you want to lose weight? Body positivity is good, but if weight loss is something you want, it’s OK to want that too. I was at the point where I didn’t want to go out socially because of my size, and that’s when I finally did something about it. It did help my confidence. Needs to be for you though and not for your husband. And by the sounds of it, he’s not being great, and that is probably the more pressing issue?

But back to the clothes, keep looking. Try to get a small selection for your current shape that you’re happy with. You will know you look smart and are looking your best.

Waht does that mean please?

You know something , I always find clothes that are "me" if I take a GF shopping - I have very few Gf's and I do trust their judgemenet

GF's who live the same sort of life as me , I have friends who are very fashion conscience so Im not shopping with them, rather a friend who knows my lifestyle

She is probably not on much more than minimum wage. To earn more she needs to hit KPI, conversion rate and ATV. These services rely on upsell and are not really for your benefit.

I mean…what qualifications do they have? How do you qualify as a shop floor stylist?
Surely they are just young fashion students or something? In which case they’ll likely have no idea how to style anyone over the age of 21.

Unfortunately I had a bad experience too. I said I wanted structured clothing to feel more polished. She only showed me baggy garments that made me look fatter. She had no idea how to dress my shape.

Even the other staff at the store were horrified and made private comments to me that it wasn’t a good session & encouraged me to return the items immediately!

It’s very hit and miss and depends on the individual stylist you get.

There’s something about being there with someone bringing tens of items that makes you buy things you wouldn’t otherwise. I did it once and regretted every single item save a silk scarf. I took them all back and felt a lot of relief. That was many years ago.

Post on style and you will get some great (free and independent) ideas. There is a poster called Eleanor something who has fabulous taste and is very generous with her ideas.

Return the clothes AND the husband

I'm wearing a Roman dress and have just ordered another one 😂 I am old, though! These are just easy things to throw on, wash well and don't need ironing. Not the proper criteria for a Lovely Dress by any means. They don't even flatter the models, tbh.

he wishes I was more self assured

Yet another reply with massive sympathy for your self-esteem issues, your depression and your disappointment in your styling session

And another agreeing with the general assessment of the twit you're married to! My XH used to say he just wanted me to be happy. Unfortunately, he didn't see this as any responsibility of his - he wanted me to 'be happy' as part of general wife service, regardless of his crappy behaviour as a husband.

Just as mine couldn't see that I was going to choose happiness by not staying married to a cheating weirdo, so yours doesn't understand a self-assured woman would not stay married to someone who put her down while taking full advantage of her domestic support.

I wish you increasing self-belief. If that starts for you with a dress, I wish you the right dress. Go to the party, ignore the twit, and sparkle. Then find a counsellor to help you fall back in love with yourself!

Oh God, please don't buy dresses from Roman and sosandar unless you're 90

Probably would've been better off getting your colours done

was it John Lewis? I went there and thought it was shit. Mind I'd never go there to buy clothes so I don't know why I went to personal styling

My advice would be to wear something you’ve worn a hundred times before and feel nice in. It doesn’t matter if it’s not the perfect outfit for the occasion, I find people are a bit all over the place with what they are wearing at the moment. It’s not like ten years ago when it would be pretty clear that an event merited a certain type of heel or length of dress and if you got it wrong you’d stand out like a sore thumb. I’ve been to events where some people are looking super coordinated and other people look like they just came straight from walking the dog and both lots of people were perfectly happy and confident in their outfits. You’re going to be feeling really self conscious and a new outfit is not going to help those feelings, let your clothes be one less thing to worry about and wear an old favourite. If these are new people you’re meeting for the first time, they’ll never have seen it before anyway.

You can have my very first LTB. Cannot stand casual arseholery like that, he doesn't deserve you, and I'm afraid no amount of fabulous clothes will change that.

I think your husband sounds like a dick - on the one hand he criticises you and on the other wants you to “be like other women” - rarely looks after his own children and isn’t nice to you.

If you ended the relationship with him (sounds like you do everything anyway so life would actually be simpler) I bet the stress eating would reduce and you’d start feeling a whole lot more confident.

Definitely return the clothes - all of them if even the ok dress isn’t worth the high price tag and have a look on ASOS - there are many thousands of items to choose from in a huge range of prices and you can filter by all sorts of things like length, sleeve type, colour and size and if you put your size in for a couple of different brands it will recommend your size for each garment which I have always found accurate.

Maybe next time take your sister or alternatively take selfies in each outfit and get your sister’s feedback. That’s what my sister does.

Also - there are many a-line floofy dresses around at the moment that cover everything.

I saw a John Lewis stylist to help me choose something for my daughter's wedding. I'm a size 10, so not huge but have a flabby stomach that doesn't want to shift. The stylist was lovely and chatty but not good at choosing clothes. I'd had my colours done and showed her my colour wallet, but she practically ignored it and also ignored my menopause tum. I came away with one outfit, tried it on again at home and swiftly returned it!

Return it all and write to the store to give feedback. A styling session can't perform miracles but it should leave you feeling good about yourself and with at least a couple of items that make you feel good when you look in the mirror. A good stylist would have listened to you, tried lots of different things to get a sense of what suits, and picked items that flattered you and were within budget and not ignored your concerns. I've also had really mixed experiences with in-store stylists. I don't think they have much training or inspiration. Debenhams used to have some good ones but they're gone now.

There are some great stylists on Instagram though like stylewithwisdom who will do lookbooks for you for very reasonable prices or even go shopping with you and others are just great to follow for inspiration. stylingwithrebecca might be a good one for your size.

I think, as others have said, you have some wider challenges around wellbeing and self esteem to address at the same time though and fashion alone won't solve that.

Sounds to me like you know pretty well what suits you and what you feel comfortable and good in. Take the stuff back that you don't like, and choose something for yourself with the right fit and colours. Trust your instincts on this one, get hubby to watch the children and just pick some really nice things that will serve you well.

mmm I am not sure that you have a clothing problem, sorry it sounds more like you have a DH problem chipping away at your confidence.

I totally understand and have definitely been there.
It is a sort of downward spiral, struggle with self confidence, loose interest in looking after yourself, it shows and your self confidence tumbles further. Formal events are a nightmare as you go already feeling crap, formal clothes don’t usually suit anyone with any curves and you are aware that you are there with your husband and want to not let him down. You are probably the one judging yourself most though. For clothes I had to find things that I wouldn’t constantly be pulling into shape or straightening. Find your colours, try to get styles which skim not cling or balloon out. Stylist can be very hit or miss, you sometimes do better with an assistant who is interested and honest. Find a mantra to repeat in your head, people watch, create a ‘ bingo’ card in your head to tick off things, man in tartan trews, woman is see through dress…
Anything to take your mind off you.
Long term, and this can be in baby steps, find your style, find your community, change your diet, look at ways to challenge your own lack of confidence.