To feel upset I’m no better off after personal stylist?

@Annie2163 since my experience in a stylist appointment, I periodically go into a large M&S and try on lots of things - including some things I wouldn't usually go for and just see whether it's worth steering away from what I know actually works for me. I also find MN a great source of inspiration as people recommend brands I wouldn't otherwise know about. Instagram too, but beware getting suckered in to buy stuff you don't need. Always worth looking on Vinted for more expensive stuff secondhand, but be sure you know the fit will work for you as you can't return things because they don't fit.

Hi OP

No wonder you're depressed, sorry but your husband sounds absolutely awful. He directly compares you to other women?! And implies youve let yourself go. When actually you're a completely normal size. It's really sad that you're considering not going to events because you feel too self conscious, it sounds like his unkind words are having such a bad effect on your self esteem. It also sounds like you get no time for yourself - if him looking after the kids is a rare treat. Would he not look after them more so you can get more fresh air and exercise? What would you think if you were at an event with someone with a bit of a tummy? Would you be criticising them in your head? Or would you not even notice because you've got your own stuff going on and you're not a judgemental cow? Why are you assuming that other people will be so different?

Would you consider an online personal shopping thing like lookeiro? I think you put in your size, style, pick from a load of examples, put what type of clothes you want and they send you stuff and you can keep or return.

Yes I'd return the john lewis stuff.

You’re correct …They are on slightly above minimum wage. Working for John Lewis is no picnic anymore so a lot of them don’t have the John Lewis pride. I think you’re overestimating the love they have for the job.

They don't get any commission, so they have no reason to put any effort in if you do buy, except, oh I don't know, professional pride? Customer service?
And the JLP stylists are not only on minimum wage

Just return all of unworn and wear something you feel amazing in

Was this John Lewis? I have had one really good experience with them and one very similar to yours. Like you I was incredibly disappointed. I agree with returning the clothes but also do try a different stylist there as the good one was excellent

I would return the item but ask to speak to the store manager and explain everything you have said, see if the store manager can give someone more experience to help you pick more suitable items

Just to say about your husband comparing you overtly to other women and trying to guilt you, that’s disgusting quite frankly. Don’t put up with this s**t. Look at what’s causing you to have a bad diet and see if you can help yourself to feel better. Get out for some walks and try and avoid the sweet stuff. Do it for you though, not him. For the event you’ll find a flattering dress 👗. But do all of it for you, not him.

@Annie2163 I hope you've had more luck on the S&B boards now, I also had a really awful experience with a stylist (in John Lewis no less!) where I had to hold back tears the whole time and felt absolutely shamed afterwards. The guy was trying his best but I had requested petite clothes (I'm short but not skinny, also with weight on my belly). They had nothing petite so nothing fitted and my body looked awful. Never again. You are not alone, but you will find a brand and style that suits and it'll make you feel so much more confident. Then you can buy from that brand again and again, I feel like doing this has saved my sanity.

Return them if you dont love the items. You will never wear them .
I guess the woman works at the store and has sales targets to meet 😒
I have had my colours done, then for my 40th went back for a styling session. They asked me lots of questions around my personality, took measurements for body shape and I bought along 10 pieces of clothing I love/wear a lot and a few I never wear.
Following these appointments I am much clearer about what suits me and know that what I buy now, will hopefully be with me for years. I have specific neck limes, dress styles, trouser lengths, jean colours etc to hone in on amd can forget fashion trends that don't suit me.
There was an option to go shopping with the stylist but this was too expensive for me. She did find a few things online during my appointment and suggested certain brands that i'd suit.

Yep. My big tummy was an almost 6kg cyst.

Roman is affordable, thankfully. Not much is. Used to love Wallis petite.

I get what you are saying and I dont mean to derail the thread but Roman is one of very few affordable brands who offer a genuine petite range and obviously I’m applying this to myself and not the OP but good well fitting clothes are a godsend when you aren’t even 5ft tall. It’s not just a case of just altering the length.

Hi OP. When i look at the mums at our school gate, we all come in very different shapes and sizes. Don't let your body dictate where you go and what you do, and certainly don't listen to your dope of a husband crabbing about it.

It sounds like the stylist service wasnt very good, but just send back what clothes you can and draw a line under it. Get online and buy a few bits that look more your thing.

Best of luck xxx

Thanks. I once bought about 600 quids worth and took them all back!

Dump the awful husband. That will do wonders for your self esteem!

Could be worthwhile bringing them to someone to adjust, feeling if they were altered for you the fit would be better and you would like them

Return everything - including DH.

Return the dress and write a complaint letter to the department store. State you paid £xxx and you got a very young and inexperienced stylist who pushed you to buy clothes you did not feel comfortable with dismissing your point of view, hence you are returning nearly everything but you have lost time

From experience… if you tell JL staff that upfront they will put a lot less effort in. Why would they put all that hard work in when they know they’re not going to sell anything? At the end of the day they’re just store staff on minimum wage so they’re not going to pull out loads of stuff for no sales.

You need to try an independent personal stylist. As many people have said JL stylists will only sell what they have. They also want to push their sales and they have no formal training. They can’t get to know you in 2 hours.
Working with a private stylists, although not free like JL will save you loads in the long run. They’ll get to know your personality, lifestyle, shape, colouring, etc. and they won’t work with any brands so it will be personalised to you. They are such money well spent.
Although the style board here may be helpful you will again find what one person likes another doesn’t so you’ll have the same problem. They won’t know you or your body shape so it may be very generic.
Book a private one if you can, it will boost your confidence which sounds like you desperately need and will be worth the money alone ❤️

You've seen an American software using American spelling.

I wouldn’t be so sure. I’ve seen it misspell “synthesisers” giving it a z. Or the other way round, whichever is correct. I’m not sure myself now.

ChatGPT doesn't miss out apostrophes or start sentences in lower case.