AIBU for pulling into a private drive after my car failed?

I’m sure they wouldn’t want to go into your fucking family driving space (again whatever that is!) but it’s extenuating circumstances!

That wouldn't happen with an alternator malfunction.

You can if doing so prevents a hazardous road situation from developing.

It's the least worst option principle.

Likewise, you can swerve off the road to avoid a deer or a large item falling from a lorry in front of you.

The man was a complete tit.

All fair points, but I'd still take my chances. Weighing up the risks of being broken down on a dual carriage way vs private drive with possible anxious resident.

There are other things to consider too. Some people have had to leave domestic abusive relationships and would be shitting themselves if a strange car pulled into their driveway and also scams that go around could be a 'lone woman' pretending her car is about to die needing to use your drive/phone/loo or whatever. That does make me sound paranoid granted but nobody knows anyone elses situations. The car should have been pulled over at the side of the road in my opinion and then AA or insurance called and not into someones driveway.

I'll try and remember that if my car breaks down on a dual carriageway near your home.

I think we can all appreciate that treating people's driveways as public spaces must be really annoying, but I'm really disappointed in the number of people who would be irritated by a lone woman in a broken down car and think leaving it on the dual carriage way or pavement is preferable.

I personally as do many have a private driveway as in I own the drive, the garden, the gates and everything in between. I often have my dogs out in the front garden running around or when the kids were smaller they would play on the drive so yes a private fucking family driving space for MY car and my family. I usually have the gates closed anyway but I would be very irritated with a stranger driving into my private front garden for any reason.

I've been mainly responding emphatically about not going on the pavement. I don't think a private drive is a danger to others, and I would probably be fine with someone doing what OP did if I were the home owner. Nevertheless it's not OP's property and the road system is set up to have cars that break down stop on the road/hard shoulder/lay by/etc., not take over other people's property. It is where the car is supposed to be left in OP's situation.

I’m not advocating for broken-down cars to mount the pavement, unless visibility was extremely limited, such as in heavy fog or a blizzard. But a private drive or similar, especially on a fast road, certainly.

Traffic jams don’t last for ever (though it will be a lot longer with one lane blocked) which is why it’s appropriate to dial 999. But cars on the pavement are a hazard for pedestrians regardless of the state of traffic.

Traffic jams don’t last forever. Car brakes are hydraulic, and have dual circuits, so you’ll always have brakes unless both circuits are ruptured. What OP means is she lost power assistance for the brakes.

She was in a traffic jam, so staying on the road and not mounting the pavement without brakes would seem far safer.

you weren’t rude, he was.

it was a faulty alternator if you bothered to read any of the OP's replies. That would not leak oil 🙄

Do you have trays for catching oil lying around? I've never seen those outside a garage workshop. I don't have one.

Did he come out and have a go at the RAC man? No? Because its easier to try and buy a woman.
His wife was ok with it (understood your reasons), you didn't abandon the car, you stayed with it, you didn't inconvenience him as it was a multi car drive, you didn't inconvenience the rest of the traffic. The only thing was it WAS his property so suppose he has the right to say something, however as PP say what reaction would he have given a man in the same position.
My pettiness would be to send some lovely flowers/decent wine to his WIFE for kindness and understanding!!

Trays are a thing.

That's all well and good, but it doesn't take into account human error. So, a broken down driver can take all these precautions, and hope that every driver who encounters the situation drives safely and attentively, or they can remove their vehicle from the live lane altogether, such that there is no obstacle for other vehicles to negotiate. Now, using common sense, which do you suppose is the safer of the two options?

What the fuck is a “private family driving space”??
Are you Hyacinth Bouquet??

OP be assured, most people think you did the right thing. You inconvenienced NOBODY.

You're supposed to put the triangle 150 ft behind your car (or whatever the metre equivalent is now). And vehicles are supposed to leave a gap they can actually stop in. (Which is presumably the primary thing you were supposed to get out of the story about a commercial vehicle crashing into a object revealed when the car it was too close to swerved - heavy vehicles need much longer to stop and need to leave more room).

Anyone driving on a road without a hard shoulder should be aware that a broken down vehicle has nowhere else to go. It still doesn't belong on the pavement.

You should pull the car as close to the left hand kerb as you can, put the hazards on, get out, call 999 and stick the triangle 150 ft back if you are able to.

What if the car or or RAC leaked oil on the driveway? That would annoy me. I think you YANBU as you spoke to wife who said it was OK but I wouldn’t do this…

That poster is going against the grain since it would appear that we have mumsnetters opening up not just their driveways to random people breaking down but their homes, their fridges with cold drinks and even their very toilets

I still think abandoning a car on a dual carriageway is extremely dangerous and should be a last resort.

People usually put those red triangles like 20 ft behind the car. This won't be remotely enough stopping distance for a heavy vehicle. I'm always looking a long way ahead and benefit from having a high cab which allows me to see over the top of cars.

However, some vehicles like dustcarts have low 'bus style' cabs so the driver isn't having to climb up and down the steps 100 times a shift. These don't offer as good visibility and if the car driver in front isn't paying attention and suddenly swerves around a stationary vehicle you won't be able to stop.

We had to discuss a case like this in one of our CPC courses. An arctic driver was driving too close to the car in front and didn't manage to stop when the car suddenly swerved around the broken down car.

It was an Indian family and they had vacated the vehicle, but the wagon sent their car flying into them. I think they were actually on the other side of the barrier from memory. In the commotion they couldn't find the grandmother or young daughter and it turned out they were underneath the wrecked car.

The young girl suffered life changing injuries and I think the granny died.

Good for you, I'm glad I've made you happy

I think some people make a fair point about being wary of scams, which is why some people might react the way they did. I don't trust anyone who comes to my door for any sales or community purpose. Too many scammers out there. Likewise I don't trust people who phone and say they are doing surveys or soliciting donations for charity or whatever. We do have to be extra vigilant about that sort of thing these days.

People having medical episodes obviously I will help, but I'm on guard. I've taught my children this too. I was out with my DD one day and there was a man lying on the pavement. Everything in me wants to help and check they are okay, but my wariness says to keep my distance and just call emergency services if someone seems to need help. After we walked past (on the other side of the road), the guy just got up and walked away, perfectly fine. I thank that guy for teaching my child a valuable lesson.

I'm usually the first person to want to help but I've learned to go against that instinct to protect myself. That's not to say I don't help people, I'm just very careful about it.