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AIBU?

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Original poster

Aibu to ask if you would judge

162 replies

PforPaprika · 28/05/2026 20:59

I know of a woman, she has 3 children to 3 different men, she has a new partner and was joking about having another one. Would you judge someone with 4 kids with 4 different men?

OP posts:
CinnamonBuns67 · 28/05/2026 23:03

Yes absolutely. I'd also judge a man for having 4 kids with 4 seperate women too.

Thechaseison71 · 28/05/2026 23:02

WondersofJobby · 28/05/2026 22:56

I would judge someone for not thinking about the impact on their children.

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How many people think of the impact on their kids when having another even with the same father. Why is the impact different?

Thechaseison71 · 28/05/2026 23:01

Fortysevenpl · 28/05/2026 21:44

Depends. If she is rich and can take care of all these kids without state help, then crack on. If not, well yes I’ll judge.

So is it ok to have loads of kids with the same man if she can't afford them? If the answer is no then what difference does who fathered them make?

BudgetBuster · 28/05/2026 23:00

Shatteredallthetimelately · 28/05/2026 22:57

And do you judge your friend for allowing her to be one of those impregnated by that "prick" when she knew he already had 3 kids by 3 different women?

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Unless of course she was no1

MyArtfulGreySloth · 28/05/2026 22:59

Honestly OP, yes I’d judge.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 28/05/2026 22:57

VeganSteakAndFries · 28/05/2026 22:01

My friend has a kid with someone who has 4 kids by 4 different women. I certainly judge him. He’s a prick.

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And do you judge your friend for allowing her to be one of those impregnated by that "prick" when she knew he already had 3 kids by 3 different women?

WondersofJobby · 28/05/2026 22:56

PforPaprika · 28/05/2026 22:50

I thought more people would be concerned about the children involved, latest partner been together less than 6 months 😬

I would judge someone for not thinking about the impact on their children.

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/05/2026 22:56

IfyouStealMySunshine · 28/05/2026 22:36

Natasha Hamilton who was in Atomic Kitten actually has 5 children by 5 fathers. Wild.

Did the fifth one hang around?

Original poster
PforPaprika · 28/05/2026 22:50

I thought more people would be concerned about the children involved, latest partner been together less than 6 months 😬

OP posts:
Bollixtothat · 28/05/2026 22:47

PforPaprika · 28/05/2026 22:37

So it seems the issue for most people is if she claims benefits..

I imagine that’s because the tax payer will be feeding and housing them if she claims benefits. Personally I don’t care.The children will turn 18.
I think it’s a complete shit show to have lots of different fathers with varying degrees of involvement. An unrelated male in a household is incredibly dangerous for young children. Some women just can’t be alone? It’s incredibly sad and rather pathetic too.

Original poster
PforPaprika · 28/05/2026 22:38

IfyouStealMySunshine · 28/05/2026 22:36

Natasha Hamilton who was in Atomic Kitten actually has 5 children by 5 fathers. Wild.

Wow I didn’t know that yeah that’s crazy I always wonder how it works if some fathers are involved and others aren’t 😔

OP posts:
Original poster
PforPaprika · 28/05/2026 22:37

So it seems the issue for most people is if she claims benefits..

OP posts:
IfyouStealMySunshine · 28/05/2026 22:36

Natasha Hamilton who was in Atomic Kitten actually has 5 children by 5 fathers. Wild.

LimbOnTheTreeTheTreeInTheHoleTheHoleInTheGround · 28/05/2026 22:36

Honestly, in this economy, 3 different sets of CMS (if the dads pay), good for her.

MyLimeGuide · 28/05/2026 22:33

PforPaprika · 28/05/2026 22:09

She’s not on benefits.

Then that's all good then IMO

IfyouStealMySunshine · 28/05/2026 22:31

Yeah I’d judge and would be nice to her face but not someone I’d choose as a friend as clearly has total lack of good judgement and yes id judge a man the same. Just Chaotic for everyone involved.

candycanetime · 28/05/2026 22:31

Although I also know a lady with 3 kids by 3 dads. She works her arse off running a cleaning business, rents a house with suitable space to raise 3 kids and all 3 dads actively involved. Also big age gaps, kids range from 15 down to toddler age. And I’ll admit I judge her a lot less than my DD friends mum.

candycanetime · 28/05/2026 22:28

Yep I absolutely judge. My DD has a friend who is one of 4 kids all with different dads. They live in a 2 bed housing association flat and the mum and 4 dads have never worked a day in their lives. DD friend is a lovely girl and stays with grandparents (dads parents) every weekend and every single school holidays. Child 2/4 has contact once a month with dad, child 3/4 not allowed around dad as child protection order and child 4/4 has dad still living with them. I wouldn’t have 4 kids sharing a bedroom to start with, let alone have more kids I couldn’t afford, and then there’s the 4 dads all with different levels of contact.

PetrolKoala · 28/05/2026 22:26

Depends on the circumstances. Relationships break down so I wouldn’t judge someone for having children with someone new, but if she’s very quickly moving on and bringing the new man into her children’s lives then I’d feel sorry for her children as that’s a lot of instability for them. I also would judge someone for having another child just to prove the relationship is “proper”.

fabstraction · 28/05/2026 22:25

Yes, I'd judge a man or a woman who had four kids with four different people. Wouldn't say anything to them, of course, but I'd think it was pretty poor behaviour, assuming they hadn't lost three spouses or other committed partners in a series of tragedies.

Thingsthatgo · 28/05/2026 22:24

I would judge - I imagine it’s a confusing and chaotic home for the children.

Bollixtothat · 28/05/2026 22:23

PforPaprika · 28/05/2026 21:33

Because a lot of people don’t see a relationship as “proper” unless they have a child

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A lot of people have low standards and even lower iqs .

Original poster
PforPaprika · 28/05/2026 22:23

No it’s not me

OP posts:
Bollixtothat · 28/05/2026 22:22

Yes and I’d judge a man who had lots of children to several women too. Then I’d remind myself that it’s not my business. But I would judge.

DaisyChain505 · 28/05/2026 22:20

Yes I would judge. Choosing someone to be the other parent to your child is a huge decision and not something that should be taken lightly. I would judge anyone who had seemingly made the wrong decision three times in a row or not cared enough to think it through in the first place.