Aibu to ask if you would judge

My DH wouldn’t give a shit whatsoever! He’d probably say your DGM led a colourful life, quite different for the time and expectations for women, but so what, she’s not you etc.

This is very much a ‘me’ feeling of shame. I’ve never heard of anyone who has a DGM who defied the convention of the time (and to some extent today), and had multiple DC to
multiple men. I don’t actually care but I just don’t want other people knowing for fear of judgement I.e sins of the fathers visited on the children attitude (which I have experienced from the one and only friend I told many years ago).

It’s also a pity that while I have my DM’s birth father’s name and that of his DW and DC, my DM wanted nothing to do with any of them. I have been interested in family history for many years but respected my late DM’s wish to never contact them, so sadly that branch of the family stops with DM.

I think it would depend on the circumstances and how each of the dads fit into the lives of the different kids, including each how new partner fits in with the existing children.

Well the difference is actually not becoming pregnant and I'd say it's a rather hefty difference.

Did your dad tell the mother of the stepdaughters or did he keep quiet?

That man is a pervert not all men are that disgusting

Yes I would. Because to keep introducing a new man to the existing children then a new baby then moving on to the next is not healthy for the children

I also judge men who have babies to all different women

people need to ensure they’re in stable relationships before they bring children into the world

now of course not every relationship lasts forever but 4 children by 4 men. There’s just no need

Having sex and irresponsible procreation are not the same thing. Contraception is very effective but people who are careless about it like to try and convince the rest of us that it isn’t.

Yes.

This. Are we now saying every man is a paedophile or hebiphile? How do you manage your teenage kids having female mates or girlfriends round if you know your husband is eyeing them up and getting turned on by them? What age do you assume your husbands start eyeing up your kids mates?

I'd wonder how on earth it all works, five parents circling around each other; I find it hard enough dealing with DH's first wife.

but it makes total sense if you think about it.
It only makes sense if he's a complete pervert. Obviously yes a lot of men would enjoy this but not all.

I agree and I think that not enough is said about this. I bet it never even crosses the mind of many women.
I would never bring an unrelated male into the house with my beautiful teenage daughters either. Clearly asking for trouble. I remember my dad relating a conversation with one of his workmates who had teenage stepdaughters and was clearly turned on by them walking round the house in their knickers. My dad was horrified (which is why he told us) but it makes total sense if you think about it.

If you can’t see the difference (ie the one impacts the people involved, the other impacts the entire lives of the children) that seems quite strange.

Well sometimes they do stay, however, no doubt it is at the back of their minds like is he here for me or the child?

Though I do think that even if he does stay, often, not always-far from it-he just turns out to be a cocklodger who behaves like a teenager so he may as well not be there, anyway.
In fact, when the lust wears off for her, it's like she's got an extra kid.

This thread is not about men, though. Besides which, and while I am no MRA by any stretch of the imagination, men really do have no say in whether the baby is born or not.
She - rightly-has full authority on that matter.

I think so women think if they get pregnant the man will stay. Unfortunately not, and less likely with every baby.

Yes

Unless there were good reasons I’d be wary of a man who had children by two women. Any more than that I’d assume he was a complete shite.

I think that comes from the old fashioned way women were conditioned to give a man a child, like that was all we had to offer.

I shouldn’t judge but I would privately.

So you mean Ulrika Jonson who was known as 4x4 is fine and shouldn’t be judged because she’s rich?!

It’s appalling. (sorry, that was definitely a bit judgemental but that was my immediate reaction! Poor kids!)

I mean you could get married, that makes it proper!

Completely after. After the second dad/mum I don’t understand why anyone would involve a third dad/mum. The children aren’t the priority here, it’s all about the parents having the new baby experience.

I would, I’m afraid, unless she had the bad fortune to be widowed more than once.

But also I’d be concerned, this is clearly not a very stable person, not a stable life and I’d worry about the standard of parenting that she could offer to these children. I’d struggle to manage two children on my own, I’d suggest four would be too much alone for all but the most superhuman mother.

Only if she was expecting the taxpayer to fund her choices.