To think children are kinder now than in the 80s/90s

I recognise that OP is mainly interested in young children. As I said upthread, it is exciting that research shows what we’ve long felt: they are, in many ways, intuitively kind.

If something was changing, wouldn’t it be sticking better? Online bullying, and the ‘othering’ of some, can be horrific.

The parents of the significantly many children driven to suicide from online bullying would beg to differ.

Do you suppose the parents of the online bullies were aware of what their DC were up to?

Completely agree with this post but:

“it was better in my day' has gone from being that thing all old people say to being the spirit of the nation, and it's dragging us all down.”

I have hope this is simply because we/ the posters on this thread are now the old people

Well other posters have said similar including teachers on this thread.
I'm not saying all children now are perfect but I think it would be easier to get through school now for a child that is a bit different in any way.

I think you're living in cloud cuckoo land!

This totally sums it up IMO

I thought teachers were leaving in droves due to children's behaviour?

Because teenage boys are much nicer right?

Don't let teenage girls fool you, it's mostly fake. They turn on each other in a heartbeat and can be vile. They're just much smarter at hiding it now because acceptance and inclusivity has been rammed down their throats. They're still very judgemental about people's weight, appearance, intelligence etc, and now they've got social media there's no stopping them. They all use Snapchat because the messages disappear, and they record TikTok videos to make sly digs.

Yes, I thought in general my DDs' primary school was much kinder than I remembered mine being.

This is quite a specific point but I have noticed on baby name threads before, some posters saying 'you can't call a child that because they'll get teased in school' and it struck me as an outdated concern, like that doesn't happen any more.
I have no doubt that bullying still happens but I do have a feeling that children have got kinder, more accepting of each other maybe? I can't really pin down what it is.

I got my first disparaging nickname from a primary school teacher. The kids just followed suit. She also shared something my mum told her in confidence to the whole class as further proof of how “bad” I am. Oh, how we laughed.

I have to admit, I work in a difficult school in a deprived area, and whilst there's a lot of stuff that goes on that I don't recall from my school days - pupils hitting and swearing at teachers, having to have internal lockdowns in a Primary school, etc, the big change I have seen in school is with the adults.

For all people are down on the Education system (and I don't disagree), the teachers give way more of a shit than they did when I was at school. The teachers don't join in with the kids piling on another kid, there's a lot less of the 'shame' method (I well recall a teacher at my primary showing us all another child's handwriting and encouraging us to say 'err, that's disgusting'.

Bullying in primary and secondary was treated as a 'fact of life'. Victim-blaming was rife from adults. It was downright nasty. Teachers openly picked a side, joined in the laughter at the bullied child's expense. And let's not forget, they could hit you. And you didn't go home and tell your parents because they'd side with the teacher.

Basically, it was sink or swim. I swear if there was less suicide it was because we knew the trouble we'd be in if we didn't succeed, for trying it!

What I remember about school was the times when it felt nobody was on my side.

I might think it's gone too far the other way in some ways, but maybe we have to go through this to come out the other side with some sort of balance...

in the mid 80s when I was a fine looking kid with an unfortunate haircut, I was walking down the street with my mum (I was probably around 9 years old) and a small group of similar aged boys shouted ‘ what an ugly girl’ at me ! I don’t even remember being surprised or that upset and it wasn’t a rough area or anything. Genuinely don’t think kids would do that today especially to a kid with their mum!
also kids would pick on kids for being overweight, wearing glasses, disabilities, having older parents, list is endless

I don't think children are nicer these days, I think as whole we have less tolerance to nasty behaviour, leaving out, name calling, homophobia, racism ect...... but there are still lots of mean children around. They just get called out more..... but some kids thrive off being horrible

How dare you tell me to open my eyes? I work with teenagers every day and have been teaching for many years. In my school we have transgender, non-binary and gay pupils-and an active LGBTQI+ society. We have children from many different countries including recent arrivals from Ukraine and Syria. My own children go to the school and so I know what their experience is. I teach openly gay boys and girls who are very active within the school community and totally accepted. My son’s close friend has CP and is very popular.
As I said, it totally depends on the school.
In the school I taught in 20 years ago, homophobia and misogyny were rife.

Is this a normal school

The post is about the 80s

It’s bad now. Is it worse though? It is better? Is it the same? Do you know?

so much kinder now

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/news/letter-to-ministers-about-sexual-violence-and-abuse-in-schools/

or not!

This is so nice to hear - I'm glad my school is not necessarily representative! I teach in a comprehensive, in quite a deprived area. Misogyny, racism and homophobia seem to have really come back in fashion, with no taboo around it anymore, like there was when I was in school. A lot of antisemitism, too. And many of the kids are defintely not kind to eachother; they communicate via insults, even when they are friends! Very unpleasant.

Trust me that still happens. Big time. And there are far more expensive gadgets that determine your wealth these days too.

🤷‍♀️ I think that children have learned that being performatively kind will win them brownie points.

i don’t do nice or kind. I do honest and direct and genuine.

I was bullied awfully in the 90s in primary school, and into secondary as well. I don't think the way in which it is done is the same (I was either too young or repressed the memory my mum has told me of one of my bullies putting a coat over my head in primary and banging my head on the wall).
Now as others have said there is a slyness about bullying and the disguise of banter. I used to teach secondary and that was the term I hated the most amongst young people. If you pulled any of them up on their behaviour they would say it's only banter.
Working in primary now I think when they get into year 4 onwards depending on the school is when it starts, particularly if they own phones. As others have said bullying tends to be more online. I refuse to let my son have WhatsApp much to his disgust but there have been issues with his peers in group chats, singling out other class members and being rude about them. I also think those who are ND (and therefore 'different' are still targeted). In the upper primary years I have noticed that some students are quite cunning and know how to wind up usually their ND classmates. They will taunt them (perhaps with a silly comment) and when confronted over it will make out it's all innocent and that they were trying to help.