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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to find FTM chat incredibly dull?!

53 replies

Elleee · 28/05/2026 17:54

I attended my first baby group with my DD who is now 8 months old. I also have DD aged 4.

I started talking to a few of the other mums there - I made lots of friends the first time round at baby groups and was keen to meet some other mums with babies the same age as DD.

I couldn’t believe how boring the entire room of conversation was! One mum was saying how she’d been carrying around calpol for the past few days and taking her DS’s temperature hourly to check that he wasn’t overheating and didn’t need calpol to bring his temperature down (not entirely sure that’s how calpol works anyway!). Another mum going into detail about how her DD’s bowel habits had changed during the heatwave. Another parent informing everyone that she’d read that wooden toys are so much better than plastic and that she had banned plastic toys from their house (just you wait until your DD gets to age 2 😂). Another saying how she’d been setting alarms to check on DS during the night to check he hadn’t overheated. Other topics of conversation included how BLW is so much superior to purées and how their babies were GREAT eaters (babies were all 6m-14m…).

I actually remember discussing these sort of things back when oldest DD was a baby and I’m mortified at how boring I must have sounded! Is this standard stuff once you’re past your first baby?!

OP posts:
Jellyofftheplate · 28/05/2026 18:05

I'm very pleased that you acknowledged you were the same. It's a right of passage for most FTMs. It's a totally new experience, and a lot of responsibility, and when you're too drained emotionally and physically to have any hobbies or hold a conversation what else is there to talk about?!
Second time around I didn't do baby groups to meet people, as I'd made friends by then and actually, having a baby in common isn't enough to sustain a friendship.

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 28/05/2026 18:04

It's not boring when you're talking to other new mums who are also interested in these topics.

WhatAMarvelousTune · 28/05/2026 18:03

I was going to say you were probably a bit like that with your first, but you beat me to it in your last paragraph!

I think a lot of first time mums can get a bit of tunnel vision around the baby. And I don’t think it’s a new thing. My grandma was told by her GP in the 50s to throw her thermometer away after she showed him her notebook where she’d recorded the temp of her firstborn multiple times a day. If you knew my grandma you’d know how absolutely out of character this was, she was generally a very no nonsense woman not overly sympathetic to day to day illnesses.