Dd’s teacher suggesting I sit in on the lesson so Dd remembers what to do

Can you give some examples of what is written in her notebook which she doesn't understand?
I'm a piano teacher and I've never had anyone say they didn't understand what they had to practise. They know what to practise but usually the issues around practising at home are that the child can't remember which note they have to start on for a particular piece. This can be solved by drawing a diagram of the keyboard with the position marked or sending a video or photo to the parent or writing the name of the note on the music if the child can identify the notes on the keyboard but still struggles with note reading. Another issue is if the child does not practise on the day after the lesson and has a couple of days off before starting to practise. Most of them can't remember anything if they do that. I tell the parents if they can't manage to practise every day they really do need to make sure that the days off are not immediately after the lesson.

I think you should go and observe the lesson and make notes and then help with the practising, at least for the rest of this term. You seem reluctant to do this. Why? Don't use the excuse that you can't play piano and can't read music. If you are expecting a 7-year old to do it then you can at least learn enough alongside your child for the beginning stages.
It's half an hour a week. If you can't spare that time to help your child get started then you might as well save yourself the money and hassle and give notice to end the lessons.
I no longer take on any children under the age of 9 if the parents aren't prepared to sit in the lessons and help with practice because most of them (there are occasional exceptions) are just not mature enough to take in the information and remember what to do and manage their practice time.

I think you should sit in on the lessons until the end of term. If that does not help then you should stop the lessons because it is a waste of time and money.
If your child is still saying they don't understand what to do it might be that what they actually mean is that they don't want to learn the instrument or it's much harder than they expected.

I wouldn't give up too soon. Music is hard and if she isn't practising and doesn't understand how to practise, then no she won't be enjoying it because she won't get the satisfaction of seeing progress and it will always feel frustrating. Learning an instrument is a really good lesson in how you need to work at something to get the reward from it (one of the reasons I wanted my kids to do it.)

I've always said to my kids that while learning an instrument is optional, practising is not, and if they aren't willing to practise most days than the lessons and instrument hire will stop. Find a regular time to integrate practice into your day, so it becomes a habit and part of her routine. But at this age practice doesn't have to take more than 10 minutes and you can try to find games (e.g. how many times can you play bar 6 in a minute).

My DD records the teacher playing the piece on her phone so she can remember what it's like when she gets home. That is something you could do (& still have time to send a few emails).

You have a great music teacher - is she East European, btw? Grab this opportunity - it means the teacher has proper methodology, is not scared of adults seeing her teach, and as you know your child better than anyone else, you will see if your child is struggling with understanding her method or not. Basically, you will see exactly where it is going wrong - sometimes children are too scared to say 'I don't understand, show me again'. It is very important for you to be present there, not all the time, but just a few lessons, to let the fluidity of interaction establish, then it won't be necessary.

This is where parental support can help. She's 7. She won't remember. You need to step up or, if you can't do that, get her to give up. Not sure what you think you're modelling to your DD here.

It seems a bit strange. Normally in a music lesson you'd just have practice piece X or practice bars 5-10 written in the book.

I don't see the point in your daughter doing this unless she wants to, but if you want to keep her going with it for a while then why not suggest the teacher sends voice notes detailing exactly what she wants your daughter to do? I wouldn't pay for a lesson and then sit in on it myself!

Both my sons do piano, one started at 4 (he’s 8 now) the other at 10 (he had other hobbies but realised he was quite good at doing his brother’s piano work so he started it too).

Our piano teacher would have them practice the sheet music from that week. My rule was 10 mins practice a day. They could either sit at piano and just play around or practice their song. The point was to actually be at the piano.

I would sit in on their weekly lessons because I enjoyed listening to them. I’d have my phone out and be catching up on things but I had an ear on what was going on.

As other posters have said, kids do not want to practice at home, they see it as a chore but I’m firm with my 10 mins and it’s now part of the day.

I don’t get the comment on piano teachers being a weird breed, our teacher is SO lovely, she’s brilliant with kids, so patient and sweet, I really like her.

I do find that when piano starts getting a little hard, kids will want to quit. It won’t be as fun anymore and they will want to give it up but the hard work is worth it. My younger DS struggled last year as the piano exam was a lot harder than year before but he got there and did well on his exam. We took a break the next term from exam work and just did ‘cool’ songs that he liked, like Imagine Dragons, Beatles etc.

I would recommend getting a beginner piano book for children so you can sit down with your child and both learn about music. It will help if you know little things like the location of middle C, hand position, note lengths…
I play music so I can help the boys but if I didn’t it would be hard to keep them on track if they are playing something incorrectly and I didn’t know how it was to go.

Can you ask teacher if you/she can film the end of the lesson. Just the keys/fingers and the verbal instructions of what the homework is? Not the teacher's face or anything.

I think it would be good for you to do it just the once to see what happens. But it's understandable to think it shouldn't be necessary as presumably you have other things to do and don't especially want to learn beginners' piano?

You obviously know your DD best and I think at that age it is hard for them to necessarily make an independent decision about taking up any kind of hobby or joining a club.

I was definitely more of a hands off parent in this regard so my advice is probably of more limited value. I see there are lots of people with experience of their children taking lessons or actual teachers posting so their advice will be more useful!

At 7 it will beed to be a partnership between the teacher and parent and student. My brother is a musician and my mother went to all his lessons with him for years. You can invest the time and effort if you think you or your daughter would enjoy it, or just stop as it’s not really proving to be something that works for both of you. Neither is wrong really, but yes , it needs to include your support at this age.

I've been in violin lessons (can't play) and ballet lessons with my DD where the teachers have explained some things to me as well as DD

The only way I think you will understand is to be in the lesson. Make sure the teacher explains so you both understand. Maybe this is not the piano teacher for your DD and you may find another who connects better with your DD

There is no point - if she's not keen, she won't practice or if she does so under duress, she won't really progress. But if you are carrying on to the end of term, sitting in the lessons will help a bit - even if you don't play, the scales and songs she is playing at that age will be incredibly simple and you can help to remind her what the teacher has said

My DD had piano lessons for about 18 months from ages 10 - 12 - she loved playing but we really struggled to get her to practice. She said she didn't want to continue but was close to doing her grade 1, so we agreed that she could stop after the exam.

I could already read music as I played from the ages of 7 - 14, so I could help her with the basics. I wish I'd carried on now, but I had no real natural talent for it.

My DD still plays uses apps to learn modern pop and rock songs she likes, but will do it on her terms and having the basics of that 18 months of lessons helps. Sometimes she practices for hours, sometimes she doesn't touch the piano for weeks.

If she is reluctant, it may be worth stopping for now - if you have the instrument she can always start lessons up again later, or just use the online apps to learn.

You could try using the online courses to learn together to learn the basics too - that way, if she does want to pick it up again later you could help her out.

Surely the instructions cant be that complicated.

I have no experience. I labelled up the keys on dc paino, printed off a sheet to show which finger goes where.

Teacher gave sheet music woth the letter above each note so easy enough to guide practise even though I knew absolutely zero

@Stopwiththeicecreamsnow If you know what she needs to do because you have observed it, that’s a good thing surely? Is your dd musical?

I think it is a stretch to expect a 7 year old to independently remember what they need to do and practise properly. Learning an instrument requires a lot of parental attention at that age especially pre grade 1 when they’re ability to sight read isn’t that secure. My own 7 year old is progressing well but she wouldn’t have at all if left to her own devices. Her teacher writes notes for me in her book rather than notes for my daughter. My older one is much more independent once she gets going but still needs a nag to actually practise and to actually look at her notes from her teacher.

It’s pretty standard to have a parent in the lesson in order to guide the practicing. You don’t need to be able to read music to do that. I remember my dad in my lessons growing up and he was an East End delivery driver with no formal music knowledge-he tried his best! I’ve had to sit in on my dds lessons over the years.

If I were you I’d be thinking about if she genuinely doesn’t understand or if she just doesn’t want to do it, and saying she doesn’t understand is the excuse.

Hey piano teacher here.
Personally I prefer when parents don't stay as kids respond better.
I keep a notepad and clear notes. However for kids who struggle, I send WhatsApp videos to parents, particularly if they don't play.
At the moment she should be doing 5-10mins X3 times a week practice supervised by you. You don't need to play just sit and support.
The first year is the hardest. You won't necessarily know if it's her thing for at least a year.

If she doesn't understand what to do then she needs to ask the teacher. The teacher needs to go over it until DD does understand.

If DD isn't practising though, I would give notice to end the lessons. I told DD that I wasn't paying for violin lessons if she never practiced as there was absolutely no point.

What is it that your DD isn't understanding? ie if the teacher writes 'practice the scale of C major', or 'practice the first four bars of music' is it that she doesn't remember how to do that, or know what a scale or bar is? Could you help her to look up the definition of a bar/scale? Could watching a you tube video help? Especially with scales.

If none of this is possible, then sit in for a week or two so you can identify what the problem is and perhaps it will help you to understand how to help your DD

My DC had this trouble too. Turns out they both have ADHD, and looking at DP it's clearly genetic!

I dont know if it helps but DS (8) is learning piano and to be honest he seems to learn a lot more from YouTube videos than he does from his actual teacher. If you can find a relevant video tutorial it might jog her memory. I'm not musical at all but he is very keen on it so I just let him crack on.

This is not the “accepted” MN view but in my opinion, piano is not the best instrument to start or introduce music with. It’s too solitary.

Both my now adult DDs learned bowed stringed instruments from 4, just before they started primary school. Apart from their weekly individual lessons, they also did group lessons, including Dalcroze, Kodály and ensembles alongside, most of the way through. They loved the social element as much as the music.

When they were young, I did supervise practice with them but we also prioritised making fun music together in addition to whatever their instrumental teachers set them to work on.

I need to add that I’m a secondary school music teacher with 30+ years’ experience in both classroom and individual instrumental teaching (string instrument). DH & I met at an amateur orchestra so it has always been important to us. The DDs both attained grade 8 on 2 instruments and carried on with their music despite studying STEM degrees. One got to grade 2 piano, the other has rudimentary keyboard skills. However, both are phenomenal sight-readers and singers - maybe the OP should try something where her DD can play or sing in a group.

We have sat through all 3 childrens music extra curriculum classes untill around 14 yo to support them. Luckily number two child did most music classes at school as a choirister.
The teachers expected this.