Dd’s teacher suggesting I sit in on the lesson so Dd remembers what to do

She needs to practise as soon as she's home then every day. Otherwise she will forget. Practising once a week just doesn't work.

7 is definitely not too young, if anything it's a touch on the late side.

As a parent of musicians I always say to people you have to view the first couple of years of instrumental lessons as almost akin to learning to read in school - you the parent do 80-90% of the work at home with the child listening to them read every day.

OP if you look online you will be able to find a diagram with the keys of the piano and above it a diagram of a music stave with the notes showing the letters of each note (ABCDEFG) with them also marked on the diagram of the piano keyboard to show you which note on the music corresponds to which key on the piano. If she's only just started she is probably only playing the 5 or 6 notes around middle C and if you look it up online you will literally be able to teach yourself this in just a few minutes as an adult, and you'll then be able to help her. It's probably that in the lesson when she can't remember which key is middle C on the piano her teacher reminds her - get a bit of masking tape and stick it on the middle C note on whatever DD is practicing on at home - just look up online how to find middle C.

You will almost certainly need to support her to do a few mins practice 4 or 5 times a week the first few months.

You might also find her beginner piano book will have these sorts of diagrams in it of the piano keyboard and the different notes - have you looked in the book to try and understand?

Research proves that youngsters who learn musical instruments do better academically, so definitely worth keeping going if you can!

i was one of those children growing up who struggled with practice. Apparently (so my mom tells me now) I went through several quite extended periods (one of around 18 months) where I ‘hated’ music, the lessons and the teacher and my mom had to make me practice. It hasn’t had any lasting negative effects on me and I am eternally grateful as an adult for the fact that she didn’t let me give up, as music as a paid hobby is an extremely important part of my life, has allowed me to travel and perform across the world in some incredible places, given me an amazing circle of friends and is the thing that is always there when life becomes a challenge. Interestingly, she had let my older sister give up (she wishes she hadn’t) and my sister now regrets the fact that she didn’t continue. Just to point out, I’m not an exceptional player, I’m more ‘ok’!

Music taught me far more than playing an instrument - it taught me about discipline, commitment, structure, resilience, the ability to keep going and work through problems even when it’s hard, and much more. I appreciate it isn’t for everyone but I would be working with the teacher to explore ways to support her through the challenges to reignite the enjoyment before anything else.

@Jopo12I think you could make your notes a lot more interesting than “Practise this piece 3 times” and “Play this for fun”

I've been sitting in on my DD's lessons for years. Notes wouldn't help as you have to see how the hand should be positioned, how fingers should work separately or together and a million more things that you need to try and replicate practising between lessons. A 7yo child is simply too young to remember or even understand all these nuances. A parent should also supervise home practice and give corrections, otherwise music lessons are a waste of time and money.

Piano is a bit ‘do or do not there is no try.’ Casual would be choir or rock steady band at school

I would jump at the occasion to sit in with my grandchild - it was never offered when my children were young but I would've done it too. It was only in sportsclasses, when my children did judo that parents were allowed in the dojo (but not on the tatami) and I remember it was very usefull : I often took notes so they could memorize certain judo related vocabulary later at home.

I was trying to answer your question.

what's the point?

Yes, I think music is part of a comprehensive education. Why do you find that snobby?

The mother wants her child to be a musician regardless of what the child wants.

I dont think the mother wants her child to be a musician. Where did you get that from?

I decided what was best for my 7 year old. Dont we all do that??

I wouldn’t do this. You may as well learn the instrument yourself if you’re going to be attending the lessons

We used to practise before school too! They were much more alert and receptive to suggestions.

To the poster who claims that music teaching in schools is dire, come & visit my lessons. I had year 7s who started in September never having done any music in their primary school (despite it being an OFSTED requirement) who are now playing simple pieces on the keyboard with 2 hands and composing 16-bar pieces notated correctly. Yes, I have bright and motivated students, but this is a state school with limited resources. We’re not all crap!

If you don’t practice outside of lessons then progress will be glacially slow, the whole thing will be pretty boring, and it will be ages before you get to do the fun stuff like playing great pieces and making music with others. It’s only rewarding as a hobby if you put the work in. It doesn’t have to be loads of practice - 5-10 mins a day is enough - but there’s really no point without it.

So, you need to sit in for at least one lesson, see how the lesson progresses and see what happens, hear the teacher give the notes for homework and then read the notebook and check with the teacher that YOU know what it means. You should only need to do this a couple of times.
Then it's up to you to set the daily practice time for your daughter.
NOONE likes doing their piano practice, almost every child makes excuses.

When my DC was starting lessons (age 6/7) we used,deliberately, to get her ready for the school run about 15-20minutes too early. Then, acting all surprised, say: "Oh, you're all ready but I'm not ready / Daddy's not ready yet, we've got to .. xyz, you may as well pop to the piano and get your practice done". Worked like a charm. We had no screens at all on in the morning. So it was pretty easy. Try that .

I wonder what scope there is for learning an instrument to be very casual without too much practicing outside of lessons. Can it just be a hobby for her rather than something taking up lots of time?

FWIW I used to sit in on my son's cello lessons from when he started at age five until he was about 11. I would be the one to take notes. In this way the teacher was able to whizz through far more work with him than if she had had to take time out to write notes herself. I also sat and practised with him until he was old enough to use my notes without help from me. Admittedly I am a musician, but I play the violin and viola which is a very different technique from the cello. It really helped. He passed grade 8 with distinction at age 11 then went to a specialist music school at 13. He's in his 30s now and a far better musician than I could ever have dreamed of being. He is making a very successful career both teaching and playing.
It worked for him.

When I took music lessons as a kid we were required to bring a notebook for the teacher to write our homework in, what to practise, what scales to work on etc.
Don't tell me nobody does that anymore?!

Piano teacher here. I find if children do the practice really soon after the lesson then it helps a lot, like the next day, they usually become confused if they leave it 3+ days and then have forgotten it all. Try that, if not the teacher will need to video the songs as it could be your DD isn’t reading the music but copying the teacher in the lesson then can’t play it without the teacher modelling

@HarshbutTrue2 you seem to be projecting massively here and your post is very confused. What point are you trying to make?

A parent doesn’t have to read music for a child to have music lessons. Music teaching in schools is sadly terrible these days and 1-1 (or small group initially) lessons are needed to learn any instrument properly.

OP hasnt said why her DD started the piano but she’s said absolutely nothing to suggest that she’s trying to live vicariously through her child?

By teen years yes, the kids should be able to practice themselves and decide whether they want to continue, but that’s a different proposition to a 7yo for reasons already explained.

As for your flight of fancy about the OP giving her DD “an earful along the lines of.. look how hard I work for you.. look at all the advantages you've had in life... you're so lucky to be learning the piano..I wish I'd had the opportunities you've had” - are you ok???

Considering that music is 'an important part of education' there's an awful lot of parents on here who can't read music. What on earth were they doing at school? I could read music before I left primary. I played a couple of instruments at grammar. I lost interest and didn't take O level music.
Rather a snobby comment about music being an important part of a broad education. It is taught in all schools, as is art and design technology.
My friend who did A level music was a gifted musician from an early age. She played several instruments and loved music. The teenagers who I now know who do music absolutely love it. They are forever practising. There is only one who is dragged along to lessons every week by their parent.
There are no extra curricular activities which are fun all the time. Just ask the kid who didn't get selected for the school hockey/football/rugby/cricket/netball/ cross-country/swimming team. The girl who didn't move up a class in ballet. The kid who fell off their horse and broke their arm. The kid who has to empty the chemical toilets on Duke of Edinburgh Award. Those activities are character building too.
However, it seems that the child in question did not beg to learn the piano. The mum will not answer why the child was enrolled in music lessons. I'm guessing that the mother is trying to live vicariously through her child. (Not many like that on mn) The mother wants her child to be a musician regardless of what the child wants.
It is possible that the teacher wants the mother to see how disinterested the child is. However, mum is too busy on her phone, can't even spend 30 minutes sitting in a music lesson. Then gives the child an earful along the lines of.. look how hard I work for you.. look at all the advantages you've had in life... you're so lucky to be learning the piano..I wish I'd had the opportunities you've had.
I've seen it all before.

What is the point?

Some of us consider music to be an important part of education. I don't think my children will be musicians any more than I think they'll be historians or geographers. But I still value a broad, rich education.

From their point of view, the social aspect of playing instruments will be their highlight.

It also helps develop determination, patience and confidence.

You consider it to be extra curricular. No extra curricular is fun all the time. Nothing worth learning is.

And they'll never be concert pianists, but that's ok.

The thing is, most people need to get to a level of proficiency before they can start to enjoy playing an instrument, so it’s not so simple or straightforward as “if she doesn’t want to play for a lot of her free time, she’s not interested”, when talking about a 7 year old beginner. A sixth former is totally different.

For most children, they do need to be supported and encouraged for a relatively sustained period - maybe 6 months to a year - of regular practice before you and they can really know whether they enjoy it or not. As a pp said, it’s similar to learning to read. Not many 4 year olds adore stumbling through Biff, Chip and Kipper, but that doesnt mean they won’t adore literature once they can access it.

I'm not musical at all. So my son's guitar teacher calls me in at the end of the lesson to video what he needs to practice

I'm afraid I don't really know the difference.

I know the representation of the notes on the scale and how that corresponds to the keyboard but it would take me so long to work it out that it would be unlikely to be of any avail in helping a child practicing a piece. Fortunately my daughters' piano teachers gave clear instructions that they could remember/written in a notebook and were based on the books we bought and used in the lessons so there was nothing which needed interpretation.

Yes it is a delicate balance.

We didn't always make ours see out the term, but they were quite biddable and conscientious children who did a fair bit of perseverance and pushing through in the phase before they actually decided to quit. For them I think it was better to say fine, you've done enough, let's just stop putting all of us through this.

It’s a delicate balance though. My parents always let me give things up when I was fed up and in hindsight I wish they had made me persevere when things got a bit hard.

My question about whose idea these lessons are still hasn't been answered.
Was daughter pestering for piano lessons? Or did mum think it would be a good idea? If so, why?
I was pestered for all of the extra curricular activities ( hockey boots and stick were another expense). Eventually the interest waned.
What is the point of these lessons? When does mum envisage them ending? Will daughter be doing gcse music? What's the plan?
Extra curricular activities should be fun with achievable aims.
Just remembered, I did sixth form with someone who did A level music. She played several instruments. She drove us all potty playing the piano in the common room. She played for hours. She loved it.
If daughter doesn't want to play for a lot of her free time, she is not interested.
Ask her if she wants to continue with the piano? If she wants to take a break and come back to it?