Dd’s teacher suggesting I sit in on the lesson so Dd remembers what to do

I think 95% of teachers at Junior Department expected parents of younger children to sit in on all lessons, and they're one of the best teachers. It's very misleading to say that a good teacher would only invite parents from time to time.

It only changes in secondary school.

It's not about reading music either or remembering which scale to play, but about posture, hands set up, fingers articulation, breathing control and other physical things requiring a great deal of body awareness that cannot be expected in a 7yo. That's exactly why OP's daughter "doesn't understand" what to do and it's absolutely normal and doesn't mean she's not interested or too young to play the piano. The older you get, the more difficult it becomes to develop a good technique on instruments like piano
or violin.

@Uptightmumma to take your reading levels example, all parents are expected to read with their kids daily in the early years of primary. There is an assumption that all parents can already read (not the case with playing the relevant instrument), but still my children’s school had various sessions where they explained the phonics programme to parents so that they could ensure there was consistency between the reading they were doing in the classroom and the reading practice happening at home.

The purpose of a parent attending music lessons is exactly the same - it’s not about whether the child understands what they’re being taught, but about ensuring that they can be supported in their practice to cover what they’ve been doing in their lesson (in exactly the same way that schools expect parents to support with eg reading).

I don’t think it’s essential btw depending on the child and instrument. My parents did not attend my lessons and I went all the way to conservatoire, but I was older when I started (10) and my instrument (brass) was more straightforward in some ways than others (eg in terms of posture). As I said earlier, my DS started violin at 6 and it’s been really important for me to attend his. It’s not a sign that his teacher is wrong or that he shouldn’t be learning - he’s got to grade 5 in 2 years.

A good teacher will only ask you to sit in from time to time with two aims, helping you to help your child with practice methods and giving you an insight into their progress in lessons. A good teacher will teach to their strengths and at their level
of understanding and be prepared to do that. A good teacher will know who pays and that they are not a school teacher but a service paid for by a parent.

Class music lessons are a bit like class swimming lessons - unfortunately, real progress on an instrument only comes with small group of 1:1 lessons. By real progress, I mean getting to a level to sound good as individual or ensemble, but to develop good technique and then, hopefully, break through the pain of practicing to actually enjoy playing the instrument.

I sat with my DCs when they were young, similar to and a bit younger than your DC. My input became less and less as they progressed in skills and ageX
Once they got to grade 3 (around age 8ish) I left them to it, as it was more than I could follow and they had grasped the concepts well enough that they could get on with it themselves.

They literally have levels at school. Different reading levels being the obvious one in primary and children are placed in sets according to ability when they get to secondary school. Sport is the same, especially football most grassroots clubs will have multiple teams at the age group and the kids will be put into teams of similar levels of ability and play against other teams of the ability.

with music it’s the same the teaching should be at the child pace and at a level they understand. My son learns 3 instruments. He struggles with guitar more than the other 2. He’s lucky enough to be getting 121 for this at a a pace that’s good for his learning.

if the child doesn’t understand then its either the wrong level or the wrong teacher

Do you say this about subjects? Division, fractions, reading, passing a football?

I sit in with DSs lessons, he is eight.

I can't play the instrument myself (it's drums) nor read the notes, so not sure how much use I am with the homework. I just enjoy watching him progress.

DS prefers when we sit in the room with him when he practices at home, he still likes the guidance on what bits to practice. When he does practice on his own he plays for longer, but also not necessarily what is in the book.

:)))) Good luck!

The child should only be learning at a pace they understand and if she’s coming out non understanding then maybe the class isn’t for here at this time

Congratulations for having spent so much time supporting your own children. I'm sorry that you have such a dim view of the OP's position. I have parents like this, and as a mum myself, I've also found the time that my children were being taught by someone else valuable for catching up with my own stuff, or just switching off for 25 precious minutes. That said, I think it would be worth OP sitting in on one or two.

Re the musical activities of the school you cite, that sounds amazing. I've been a peri in quite a few, and this is NOT standard.

I thought my experience of learning music was normal. Several posters claim that they can't read music etc.
This is what my local schools teach: they are good state schools. Not outstanding. Not elite.

Reception to year 4:
Sparkyard music curriculum (whatever that is)
Raps, chants and songs. Harvest festival and Chris carol performances. Nativity for reception children.

Ks2. Summer term production. Parents attend, as they do for Christmas and harvest festival. Pupils study a musician of the month; including Annie Lennox , Bessie Smith- jazz age; kishori Arionkar- Indian music.
They learn musical vocabulary and notation.
In year 2, they learn to play the glockenspiel. Year 3, ukelele.They have musical workshops with visiting musicians.

They also perform a keyboard assembly for parents - year 4.
Extra curricular: keyboard lessons; theatre trips and The Big Sing. The school choir often takes part in events with other schools. There are also extra curricular lessons available for ukulele.

Year 5. Percussion and producing sound effects for a video. (Obviously something I never covered)
Year 5. FAME lessons for violin, coronet and flute. Plus further small group tuition.
Studying Peer Gynt - musical vocabulary and class tuition of ukulele. Reading TAB and chord boxes.

Year 6. Ww2 music and songs. ( that ties in nicely with history) violin and instruments of the orchestra.

Prokoviev, saint- sans and John Williams.
( I remember doing carnival of the animals and Peter and the wolf. Loved it)
Year 6 also do composition and group and individual performances. They do samba music -rhythm and pulse. And create an end of year performance for parents. They also do musical assemblies. Plus Pupils Got Talent Competition. They do a Christmas carol performance at a local old people's home.

Extra curricular: orchestra. Brass band. Guitar. Percussion ensemble. Concerts and carol services.

I maintain that kids today get a well rounded musical experience in school. There's plenty of extra curricular opportunities for those who are interested.
I don't understand why parents can't read music. Kids today are doing what I did, but their parents didn't. It makes no sense that the curriculum disappeared for several years.

I have sat through countless assemblies, carol concerts, school plays, sports days. Yet, OP doesn't want to sit in a piano lesson.

The ‘passionate’ part comes later for most young children and music.

Practice is a slog, especially for beginners.

Children need help and encouragement to stick with it, as it is not easy.

It is an activity that needs time before it becomes a passion.

But true, if parents not willing to support and encourage the child with good practice habits, it is unlikely they will make much progress unless the child is particularly motivated.

It is very likely that OP was not yet aware of the need for parental support around practice before she posted. I didn’t either until my children started music.

What exactly do you mean by "passionate"? Very few children are completely obsessed with music and it's usually a symptom of autism or other ND.

My DD was grade 8 on two instruments and grade 5 on the third aged 10, but I find calling children being "passionate" about music a bit pretentious tbh.

Learning an instrument is hard work in any case, whether you're "passionate" or not.

I was asking op what the point was. Not music in general. Op child isn't passionate. Op doesn't want to support. Therefore, in my opinion, there is no point in continuing.

Op seems to have disappeared. She hasn't given a reason why her daughter is doing piano lessons - which is a pretty good place to begin the discussion. What exactly is OP hoping to achieve?

at 7 I would be expecting them to listen to the teacher/coach and be able to rely what’s happening in the lesson and anything they have been told to work on.

Totally unrealistic expectations in the context of learning an instrument.

No one criticised you.

You said

What is the point of these lessons?

And you called my answer "snobby". Loads of posters have shared their own reasons for doing music lessons. But now you're throwing around accusations of elitism. (Despite benefiting from a grammar school education that included music yourself)

What's your issue?

@HarshbutTrue2 what is your point exactly?

It has always been the case that you need 1-1 (or perhaps 1-2 or 1-3) lessons to learn any instrument beyond the most basic degree of proficiency.

Whole class recorder lessons are excellent for teaching the basics and introducing kids to reading music but even these don’t happen anymore in the way they used to. You seem to be completely out of touch with music teaching in primary schools - which is key because that is the best age to start most instruments. When I was at primary in the 1990s we had whole class recorder teaching weekly from year 3 to year 6, such that after 4 years the whole class was pretty good. Nowadays the approach is for the entire class to learn recorder for 1 term, then 2 terms of nothing, then the next year have a term of violin, then the next year a term of cornet. This is nothing more than the most basic introduction to those instruments - no opportunity to build on skills or knowledge - and that’s in a well-funded outstanding state school.

Even in the 90s, and very much the case now, a child needs private lessons to learn an instrument, so really what happens in school is neither here nor there. It’s a massive shame that only those with parents who can afford it get this opportunity. Kids whose parents can afford it are very lucky. Parents who want to give their kids the chance to learn should be applauded, not looked down on in some kind of reverse snobbery.

If a parent doesn’t play themselves they might not realise how much they need to support their child with their learning. The fact that a child does need the support doesn’t mean they shouldn’t learn, or aren’t suited to it, or that they’re living out their parents’ dream or however else you want to characterise it. I have no idea why you’ve attacked the OP so much for just asking a simple question.

Hi OP
i think it is not unusual for 7 years old beginners to not remember how to practice after lessons. And not unusual to not want to practice.

As several others mentioned, use your phone to record examples of the practice notes means. So much easier to understand the practice instruction when you can watch exactly what is meant.

Another great recommendation above is to get your DD to practice when you get home while it is still fresh in their heads.

Try make it fun, maybe let’s check if mom’s recording make sense…. Get her to show you what she learned.

Little and often is best way to practice and build it up. If you got her to do 5-10 mins every day she will progress. Then increase the time over time.
My DDs used to practice 5 days per week. And not that willingly!! There were strops and tears at times. But eventually it became habit. I think every day is better as they often were negotiating which days to skip practice.

Participate in her practice. Help make it fun. Make a game out of what to practice today. Give her attention and positive reinforcement.

Music education is a gift for life. It is difficult at the start. Practice is absolutely essential to progress.

Lots of studies to show music helps with brain development and it also helps with academics. It also builds resilience and discipline. There are so many benefits beyond just being able to play an instrument.
It gets a lot more enjoyable once progress is made. And progress is only made with frequent practice.

Stick with it unless your DD really isn’t enjoying it at all. Piano is a great base for any other instrument. I would give it at least a year before switching instrument.

My DDs played music for years, and while I had some music education I couldn’t read music very well and just had the basics of a different instrument. So I was in a fairly similar situation to you.

Strange. A previous poster criticised me for not knowing that music was part of a good all round education. Now it seems that I had a more rounded education than most. Yes, I did practise recorder at home, as did many of my friends.

However, kids still do music at secondary. They do learn instruments. Most schools have a school choir. Most schools provide the opportunity to learn an instrument. I thought music was part of the national curriculum. Our local secondary teaches a varied music curriculum. I will look it up and report back.

I am now wondering if mumsnetters think that the piano represents some sort of elitism that they want their kids to be part of. Tbh it was beyond my capabilities. But that's OK too

These subjects are the first to disappear in state schools, at my sons primary parent’s had to come in to teach any extras like this x it’s definitely no longer Normal

I learned B-A-G recorder in a class of over 40 at school, inner city primary. The idea that this level of music left most pupils able to read and process music independently as adults is for the birds. Most would have struggled to remember the few notes played in class lessons.

At that time at least some music every week was a part of standard schooling but it was singing and a few percussion instruments and did not necessitate formal reading of music - children learned “by rote” rather than by reading the music if sheet music was provided. Then as now a very small subset of children learned an instrument from a peripatetic teacher from yr 5.

Much as the handful of swimming lessons in yr 6 don’t teach swimming without a lot of extra coaching and practice from home, a term doing recorder on Friday afternoon or weekly hymn practice only gives a taste, not much actual learning but hopefully enough to foster a later enjoyment.

Op isn't complaining, she is asking if this is usual and if it will realistically help. you clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, maybe take it out on someone else? Op has hardly commit a crime by asking for advice about kids piano lessons

B, A, G is def the way to start recorder, so no issue with that! However, what I was a bit irked by in your post was the point that other people were in some kind of deficit for having left school unable to read music. Not everyone learns that at primary, and not everyone would remember it if they had.

Yes. Sorry it was b a g. I can still play though. I can still read music. It's a shame the recorder died out, it was a simple instrument, easy to learn and a good stepping stone to other instruments.

I am putting gaps because I have been criticised for just using a new line for a new paragraph.

I learnt a string instrument. I can still remember the names of the strings, but nothing else.

Local primary schools teach glockenspiel to the whole class. The whole class also has ukulele lessons- different year. Some of the older kids do trombone, but I think that's music club. All schools do after school clubs to suit a wide range of interests.

At secondary, kids used to play violin and other instruments. All year 7s learn to play keyboard as a class. They can all read music, some better than others. There's a school orchestra, choir, guitar club, extra keyboard lessons/club for those who are interested. Some kids play brass instruments and drums. The occasional one plays the piano, they tend to be gifted musicians.