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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask my friend not to compare our children's height?

107 replies

Hokeyjokey · 28/05/2026 11:20

I have a young DS, friend of mine has a DD the same age.
We meet up once every few weeks/months with the children to play etc.

Every single time, without fail, my friend will comment something along the lines of “OMG look at how much taller she is than him AGAIN” whilst looking at both children seemingly aghast.

It REALLY annoys me, I think because I don’t like seeing him being openly compared physically to another child, because it’s unnecessary and irrelevant, and also because I definitely get the impression that the implication is that “taller” is the more positive physical attribute.

AIBU with this? Taking it too personally? Maybe projecting my own internal bullshit a bit?
Would this irritate any of you?

I’m thinking next time it happens to respond by asking her not to make comparisons between them.

OP posts:
Bridgertonisbest · 28/05/2026 11:39

My youngest was tiny, all through primary and part of secondary. Smallest in the year group tiny.

then in the space of year 9 went from the smallest to one of the tallest. At 17 he’s 5ft 11. Just ignore her.

Fransgran · 28/05/2026 11:38

Tell her to stop it. I had a cousin the same age as me and every time we met, my aunt would make us stand back to back (once on the pavement outside a department store ) and exclain with clear satisfaction how much taller her child was. I am maybe unusually sensitive but I still recall, decades later how humiliating I found it. My mother was equally annoyed but was intimidated by her older, grander SIL

AmyDudley · 28/05/2026 11:38

Yeah I'd just say 'well children grow at different rates, its not really worth commenting on' and hope she gets the hint.

I mean tallness isn't an achievement. My DS was tall for his age and it meant people always thought he was older and expected him to behave older even when they knew his age, which was unfair and difficult for him (He's grown up to be 6 ft tall, so not remarkably tall despite being a taller than average child, the other shorter kids caught up with him in their own time)

I'm pretty short, and I have 2 male cousins who are both about 5'3". both very successful - one is a millionaire (merchant banker) and the other a university professor. Their height didn't hold them back, because it is a total irrelevance.

DrFoxtrot · 28/05/2026 11:35

I’d just ask her why she is that amazed about a completely normal developmental phenomenon. I have a DS who is two years older than DD and they were the same height for ages as children. He’s now 6’1 and towers over us all because his growth spurt was later.

ThePieceHall · 28/05/2026 11:30

It always baffles me that being tall is seen as a moral virtue; as though people could overcome their genetic inheritances if only they tried harder.

HellonHeels · 28/05/2026 11:28

Just exclaim over how much BIGGER her DD is.

Or make a few personal comments about her. "I never noticed until now how big your feet are!"

chirrupybird · 28/05/2026 11:22

Just say boys tend to shoot up later and change the subject.

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