AIBU to ask my friend not to compare our children's height?

Yep. This is a spoof article but there’s a lot of truth in it.

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/tall-man-thinks-its-an-achievement-20190215182505

I have a friend like this, she’s always had a thing about height and used to talk regularly about how her children were like giants - they aren’t (all under 6ft) but they are to her as she’s 5ft 2.

She continues to go on about it, and in particular reference it alongside how tall my DS2 is. He hasn’t ended up being as tall as predicted due to a brain tumour, she knows this is a sensitive subject to him, yet she still goes on about it.

I’ve now told her to stop, it isn’t pleasant and just a reminder to DS why he feels upset, so I don’t want to hear it anymore.

Sunak's height.

Sorry, that was worded badly and incorrectly. I think at a societal level taller is seen as better than shorter, there are studies showing both men and women earn more if they are taller. Rushi Sunak's was regularly joked about when he became PM is another example of this. I don't agree with these ideas at all but I'm wondering whether people who do say, "you are tall" think they are being complimentary. I absolutely don't think people should comment on people's looks - to be clear.

I’m glad you are going to say something because she needs to know in case her dd starts picking up on it and commenting to other children about how much talker she is and also it’s so rude to keep bringing it up like she has been.

I’m only 4’9.5 (the half inch matters!) and have had comments about my height all my life and constant comparison to other kids when I was growing up.
I’m not bothered about being small really, in a practical sense it’s annoying like being unable to reach things and finding clothes to fit but other then that I can’t change it and find it strange that taller people act like it’s an achievement that they grew a few inches more!

The one thing that does really irritate me is when children find it amusing or are pleased they are taller and measure themselves against me or try to stand back to back and their parents don’t stop them if they keep doing it.
I’m not annoyed with the child but my nephew used to do it literally every time I saw him and kept trying to pick me up or would repeat over and over that he was taller than me.
My sister never told him to stop but with him being my nephew I felt I could tell him myself and told him multiple times that I knew he was taller but that was just how nature works he didn’t need to keep mentioning it.

He ignored it every time I said something and my Dsis didn’t correct him so when he came up behind me on one occasion and surprised me from behind by lifting me off the floor I reacted with surprise and by instinct and hit him in the stomach so he let go.

My Dsis was really angry and we fell out for a few weeks but she still didn’t say anything so a few weeks later my DN came and shoved his face in mine bending to my level and I was so frustrated I went home.

Your friend is encouraging similar thinking in her DD that it’s worth mentioning on every occasion you meet up and probably doesn’t realise how annoying it is. You are doing her a favour if you tell her to stop it!

Surely commenting on something a person can’t physically help is unacceptable

Only if the OP wants to reinforce, to the children, that making personal remarks is ok.

I was the tallest through primary school, I hated it. I was so happy to stop growing at 13. She isn't realising that her DD might not like what she is saying.

Tell her to STFU - she sounds like a combat that Id try and avoid or if you’re brave enough you could challenge her and ask her to cut it out and keep her mouth shut about it.

@Hokeyjokey For what it’s worth: girls‘ femurs ossify at about 18 whereas boys‘ femurs ossify at around 21 - that’s why boys grow for longer than girls.

Dont agree with what? And no, not everyone likes being tall as the original post in this sub-thread stated.

This.

You can still fall into the common average range, though, even if you aren't bang in the middle.

If you were introduced to 20 people one at a time, and were told that 10 were exactly 5'3" and 10 were exactly 5'4.5", would you definitely be able to group every one of them correctly?

...Also, the averages tend to differ somewhat depending on people's generation and their own actual age. An individual will very likely be more than one exact height during their adult life.

Not in the UK she's not, apparently 5ft4.5

I don't know about that, models are tall and I think society perhaps projects it as a positive like willowy. I know my DD teen thinks this and wants to be taller, she's average and skinny but she says you can't be willowy at average.

I don't agree with this but isn't it because it is more desirable to be taller particularly for a boy aka they provide think they are being complimentary.

My friends keep calling me short arse and laughing at my step stool that I need to reach stuff off higher shelves 😂
And I buy petite clothes too 😆

Are you sure she’s just not a bit insecure. I don’t think in general being tall is the compliment for women as it is for men, so her saying her daughter is tall isn’t really a boast, more of an ‘oh god, when is she going to stop growing’.

I’d say one of the following

“yes, she is a big lass”
”Gosh, she is a gangly one”
”Are all the girls in your family so lanky?”
“At least you won’t lose her in a crowd!”

This! And that some people (usually men) seem to want prizes for it.

I don't really understand this attitude - as a woman I absolutely adore being petite!

I also have one tall DD (like her dad) and one short DD (like me). Both beautiful, clever, and I don't particularly see height as something to aspire to? I wouldn't be taller even if I could be!

"The nicest things come in small packages" should shut her up.

We once went to look at house and DD was asleep in her car seat (about 8 months old). Son of the household about two ish was tearing round the house totally out of control and DD snoozed away quietly - she was a very ‘good’ baby ie never any real trouble. The lady of the house took great delight in informing us that babies who sleep a lot aren’t very bright. 🤔. Rude. She clearly knew her son was on some spectrum so maybe was deflecting.

I would just say I know you say it every single time. Hopefully she will realise how boring she sounds

Tell her you’re happy as long as his feet reach the ground.

There is nothing more annoying then someone constantly repeating something and acting shocked about it

This. I’m 5ft 1.5 and it really annoys me when people of average height say they are small!