Dog dilemma

I was wondering the same.

I hope it’s good news ❤️

How is woofa now @TrínaCheile 🐶

Five! You brave woman. They are wonderful though.

@TrínaCheilegot everything crossed for a good prognosis. You will know when the time comes to say goodbye. They do tell us.

@cubistqueen five Goldens!

@TrínaCheile sorry to hear your girl isn't improving. Will keep my fingers crossed she pulls through.

So he’s feeling guilty but trying to make it your decision. That’s a little emotionally manipulative. I too have cancelled plans because my dog was ill. I’ve also cancelled plans because I looked at my dog and realised I’d spent little time with him that week and I didn’t want to leave him. The love I have for that little creature has shocked me and both of my children share it - it has weirdly made us closer to each other.

people who don’t have dogs often don’t get it. That’s fine. Just don’t get a dog.

@TheHungryHungryLandsharksgoldens or German shepherds?

Thinking of you and sending positive vibes and thoughts to your pooch OP xx

I’m sorry to hear it’s not better news 💔

But it doesn’t sound like there is no hope at all and so hopefully this time tomorrow she will start getting a bit better.

I have been in a similar situation at least twice with my dog and it was very much of case of it looks likes having to be PTS but she made a full recovery and lived many years after.
The last time due to her age and progressive illness it was the kindest thing to do as she was dying but it was just a slow, more painful death but even then it was such a hard decision.

They are literally our children and the grief that comes with losing a pet is indescribable.
I hope you have a few more years with her yet 💐💐

Most importantly, how is she doing today?

We took a specialist vets advice middle of last year and went ahead with an incredibly expensive surgery for our dog….i should have done the kindest thing for our boy at the time and not put him through it, he never fully recovered and we made the most difficult decision late January and wt our boy go….the pain is still indescribable honestly, he was with me always, my life literally…..the silence is deafening but we take comfort knowing that he is no longer in pain and at peace now. I totally understand how you are feeling…..do what you think is best for your dog…our boy was 8. X

Oh, I didn't mean that you don't have the money to treat your dog - I was just talking about the general attitude on mumsnet.

I do think it's sensible of him to talk about the cost, though. It's best to talk about that early, rather than in a crisis.

I do think you are putting him in a bit of a no win situation. Telling him to go but being grumpy about it is contradictory.

Firstly I do have pets, but I’m confident to make decision about their health on my own if necessary, including when it’s been the right time to end any suffering or the next steps of treatment during serious illness.

I’ve not aimed to deminish your feelings and I apologise if it feels like that. You haven’t communicated clearly to us or your husband how you feel or what support you need. You instead, sat on the fence, not asking to him to stay. If that’s what you need, tell him, be part of that decision, he can then make his own choice.

I hope you’ve spoken to the vet and your dog had a good night.

I’m glad your DH has gone and if the worst should happen, he will have to live with his decision.

I didn’t spend 1 night away from my dog for 6 years, thinking that the 1 night I go away she’d die (elderly and had cancer).
In hindsight I should have not put my life on hold so much and if I had a DP who loved her too, then I would have definitely lived life a bit more.

Unless the dog takes a turn for the worst and dies or needs to immediately be PTS, then it’s highly unlikely any operations or PTS will be booked for the weekend.
If the dog does need to be PTS or need an operation it will more likely be booked for next week when he’ll be back.

You have insurance and the can afford both the dog and holiday.
You are both upset and saying things out of hurt.

You both sound like good people and you both obviously love the dog.
It’s important to not take out your upset on each other.

I really hope that your dog continues to improve and can come home soon 💐

Unless it's a case of if he goes away you can't afford to treat the dog then I think YABU tbh. Surely he's still at the other end of a phone to support if there is any decision to be made on the dog.
You're basically telling him he can't go although putting it on him, he knows you're going to be in a total strop if he does go.

So you could lose the money, you just preferred not to.

"A holiday though, as nice as it may be, should not, in my view, come before a loved pet"

I think "in my view" is the operative phrase here.

For some people their dog is their world and they will do anything to be with it and spend any money to try and save it. Even if it leads to ruinous bills.

Then at the other end of the spectrum you've got people who realise their dogs life is finite and there are limits to how much they are willing to spend and how much of their life they should postpone or cancel because it is ill and might die.

It's subjective not objective.

I'm not going to judge either, provided the animals welfare comes first in both cases, which it normally does. Most of the actions people take in both of these cases are for themselves, not for the sake of the animals.

The final takes place tomorrow in Budapest. Unless he's going to make an actual holiday of it, he'll probably be back on Monday at the latest. It might be another 20 years before Arsenal are in another final. Him being at home won't change the dog's prognosis. My late DH was a huge Arsenal fan, I would not have expected him to stay home under these circumstances.

yes I am a big resilient girl. He’s away. I’ll deal. Doesn’t mean I should be expected to be happy about it though?

You don't need to be stroppy either though either. Throwing a strip instead of asking him to stay home, is quilting him.

What are you going to remember in 20 years time? The game, or being their for your partner and your dog?

For an Arsenal fan, I assure you he'll remember the match.

OP, having lost both pets last year (cancer in one case, heart failure in the other) I do feel for you. I hope your dog recovers and has many more happy years with you.

Exactly.

Anyway I was obviously referring to the costs of care for the dog which isn't related to already spent holiday money

We had saved up for it and, not being very well off, really could have done without just losing all the money.

A holiday though, as nice as it may be, should not, in my view, come before a loved pet.

If I chose to go away when my pet was ill and they died I would never forgive myself for not being there for them

"We could not afford to lose the money we had paid for a holiday but our dog was far more important than a holiday."

That makes zero sense. Everyone who goes on holiday can afford to lose the money they spend going on holiday, because at the end of the holiday they don't have the money, just the experience.

I agree with @BudgetBuster, if you don’t want him to go, tell him and he can make his own decision. I often see on here, people wanting their other half’s to cancel plans because it’s been a bad week, your upset, tired, ill…and I think sometimes we just need to be a little more resilient and find a balance to life. Does your partner need to be physically alongside you? Can you agree about what or exactly when you may need to talk to him, and can he tell you when he won’t be available and just make it work?