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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think I might have just experienced the end of my marriage?

107 replies

Greyblankie · 27/05/2026 23:29

Been toying with this idea for a while now and tonight I think I’ve experienced the straw that broke the camels back.

Booked tickets to see my favourite band of all time a few months ago, it will be their last tour as the lead singer/dong writer doesn’t have much longer to live. I’ve been looking forward to it for months.

Gig was tonight.

As usual, DH drank too much. He was being loud and obnoxious, at one point said loudly that the singers cancer diagnoses is “fake news” - people were looking - We were stood at the front and he constantly “needed” to go back to the bar barging his way through the crowd then trying to force his way back to the front. We all hate people that do this right? I tried telling him he was pissing people off.

The set got cut short as the singer was struggling too much, it was bloody sad to see. Upsetting actually. He was nearly crying. After the band walked off stage DH started hassling the roadie for a set list. Totally innapropriate.

We got back to the car (I was driving obviously) and I said “you’re a bit embarrassing when you’ve had a drink”. I said it nicely but of course I meant it - I explained why. He started droning on about how the crowd was dead (something else he kept shouting whilst IN said crowd) and he was the only one supporting the band 🙄 I laughed it off and tried to change the subject but no … he kept droning on and on about god forbid anyone try and have a good time etc etc … everyone was having a good time but no fucker else was acting like him.

Then came the silent treatment, refusing to talk etc etc so I lost it and told him that this is why I think he’s a cunt when he’s drinking.

he’s totally ruined the night just as he’s ruined many other nights in the same way.

I think this actually could be the end. I’m unhappy and I have been for a while.

OP posts:
TinyRebel · 27/05/2026 23:41

I’m sorry OP, he sounds thoroughly obnoxious. How embarrassing for you.

My own DH has very occasionally got to the belligerent stage when drunk and I can’t bear it. I properly read the riot act when he’s sobered up (he likes to pick arguments and go on and on when I’m trying to get to sleep) and he’s not done it for ages. He’s usually delightfully lovely and affectionate when he’s had a few though.

My MIL is just the same (she’s on her own and drinks pretty much every afternoon) and there’s always that little edge of arsey. I’ve started to refuse to go round there when I know she’s had/will have a few and I think he’s got the message.

If DH ever behaved as badly as that when drinking though, I’d definitely be done and he knows it.

ETA - just seen your update re his kids. Massive red flag there, he sounds horrible.

Maray1967 · 27/05/2026 23:40

Greyblankie · 27/05/2026 23:36

He won’t stop drinking, he can’t even socialise with his own (adult) kids without a drink and then tries to force drink onto them too. He made his youngest sick once pressuring him to drink when he’d clearly had enough.

OP, this alone would have made me leave him.

This is absolutely disgusting behaviour.

Papoy · 27/05/2026 23:38

Clearly it was a sad event for the band and their fans and if he doesn't have the emotional intelligence to "read the room" and behave respectfully at this memorable event (in your and others life), probably he is a bit of a selfish person to say the least ....

I am sorry your night is ruined like that

Greyblankie · 27/05/2026 23:38

Greyblankie · 27/05/2026 23:36

He won’t stop drinking, he can’t even socialise with his own (adult) kids without a drink and then tries to force drink onto them too. He made his youngest sick once pressuring him to drink when he’d clearly had enough.

Splitting isn’t realistic at the minute but I can start to make it an option. In the meantime I think total disengagement might be an idea.

OP posts:
Greyblankie · 27/05/2026 23:36

Bingbangboo · 27/05/2026 23:33

What are your circumstances like? Is separating a realistic option?

I think if you don't behave well in drink then you shouldn't drink at all. How would he respond to an ultimatum?

He won’t stop drinking, he can’t even socialise with his own (adult) kids without a drink and then tries to force drink onto them too. He made his youngest sick once pressuring him to drink when he’d clearly had enough.

OP posts:
Bingbangboo · 27/05/2026 23:33

What are your circumstances like? Is separating a realistic option?

I think if you don't behave well in drink then you shouldn't drink at all. How would he respond to an ultimatum?

Hotpants123 · 27/05/2026 23:31

I think so, just leave. Life is too short for this crap