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AIBU?

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Original poster

How would you feel if your husband/partner said this to you?

179 replies

Bananatoastie1 · 27/05/2026 22:52

"I think people probably do look at us and wonder what is he doing with her"

In a he could do better way, how would that make you feel?

OP posts:
CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 27/05/2026 23:13

I absolutely would be looking to leave because I wouldn’t remain in a relationship with a man who would effectively tell me that he thinks he can do better. Off you go then.

Nevs · 27/05/2026 23:12

I’d think he was trying to trigger some insecurity in me, either to make him feel better or to cruely amuse himself.

I’d stay very calm and say “l can’t stop you having these thoughts, however most people with basic social skills and empathy know not to this vocalise this to their partner. So what is your motive for telling me? What are you hoping to achieve?” I’d then watch him dig a hole for himself.

Then I’d make my life busier and phase him out.

Everyone here saying they’d be furious and tell him to fuck off are going about this entirely wrong, you’re playing into his hands. Any man who says this to you is looking for a strong negative reaction. Don’t fall for it. Your calmness will confuse him and play with his head more.

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 27/05/2026 23:09

I’d be fucking pissed. Probably tell him to fuck off and find someone worthy of him.

Really though, most couples I’ve seen the man is punching. If the woman is punching it’s so rare I’ll actually notice it.

SleeplessinSyracuse · 27/05/2026 23:08

What an absolute bellend he is @Bananatoastie1. A cocky, stupid prick. I say stupid because no one in their right mind says that out loud.

JillThePlantKiller · 27/05/2026 23:07

@Bananatoastie1 Is he your dh or a dp? Do you want to leave?

CanOnlyBeMyself · 27/05/2026 23:07

I would feel it’s time to be single.

Pinkissmart · 27/05/2026 23:07

I think if someone is in love with you, they think ‘ wow, I get to be with her!!!!!!’.

I’m not sure anything else is worth the bother.

JillThePlantKiller · 27/05/2026 23:06

I’d think he was a dick, and realise that I could deserve much, much better than him.

Original poster
Bananatoastie1 · 27/05/2026 23:05

It was a while ago now, over a year, but I have never seemed to shake it off. It wasn't even an argument it was more like he was trying to tell me I was lucky to have him.

OP posts:
RedRock41 · 27/05/2026 23:05

The question should be, after he’s said that: what’s she doing with him?

BiddlyBipBipBeeBop · 27/05/2026 23:05

I would feel it was time for a new partner/husband.

SleeplessinSyracuse · 27/05/2026 23:05

It’s awful that people are actually asking @Bananatoastie1 to rate her attractiveness. I’m sure we all wondered a little but wouldn’t want to kick someone when they’re down. She must be feeling thoroughly cut up.

havingoneofthosedays · 27/05/2026 23:03

That he’s better looking than you 🤷🏼‍♀️

SleeplessinSyracuse · 27/05/2026 23:02

I don’t think it matters whether they are “equally matched” really. It’s his perception of his superiority.

ChocFrogKnife · 27/05/2026 23:01

Do you think he is right?

SleeplessinSyracuse · 27/05/2026 23:01

I think k it would be the end for me, too. It implies he’s strutting around thinking he’s done you one huge favour.
Were you arguing?

BananagramBadger · 27/05/2026 23:00

I think I’d probably feel ‘newly single’….

ShetlandishMum · 27/05/2026 22:59

Would be game over.

Floatingdownriver · 27/05/2026 22:59

Was he joking? Are you equally matched?

tipsyraven · 27/05/2026 22:58

I’d end a relationship over a comment like that. How dare he!

Trackstar · 27/05/2026 22:58

That's rough, it must have been upsetting to hear that. I'm not sure how I would react to be honest, I would be hurt for sure.

Solaitt · 27/05/2026 22:57

I’d ask him “why?” “Why do you think people think that about us?” I’d want him to explain his reasonings.

SleeplessinSyracuse · 27/05/2026 22:57

I’m sorry he said that to you. It must have really hurt. Did you respond?

Credittocress · 27/05/2026 22:57

I’d feel like I had a sore shoulder after having to dig out a new patio to bury him under.

SleeplessinSyracuse · 27/05/2026 22:56

BruceAndNosh · 27/05/2026 22:53

Well it could mean you are too good for him?

Yes it could but the OP has explained that that isn’t the way he meant it.

I just wouldn’t be able to get over that, @Bananatoastie1. The cruelty, the ego on him. What was the context? Not that anything could make it okay as far as I’m concerned.