How would you feel if your husband/partner said this to you?

I really feel for you. I experienced similar and it absolutely did a number on my self esteem. I truly feel for you, OP. xx

I wouldn’t shake off a comment like that. I would see it for what it is.

It's not people saying he is better than you (no one has said this except him), it is him telling you he doesn't think much of you. He is saying he can do better than you. It's a very nasty comment and he a) wanted to hurt you or b) wants to control you by lowering your self esteem until you do feel 'lucky' you are with a twat.

I wouldn’t let it go. I would either confront him with the above (including the twat bit), or I would go and find someone who values and respects me.

I would feel angry. Who does he think he is?

Some Ibruprofen gel would help with that though?

This for me too. I would detach completely. All the crappy stuff in a marriage is only OK if there is a bond. Once the bond is gone it all takes on a miserable edge and that is the beginning of the end.

He's not even your friend @Bananatoastie1

I would end a marriage over this comment. He hates you.

Offended. And hurt and lesser which is perhaps what his aim was.

I had an older bf like this in my very early 20s and he half destroyed me. I'm still living with the damage.

Is he trying to sabotage you in other ways?

What a twat he is.

I wouldn’t be able to “shake it off” either. Why should you? He was saying you’re not attractive enough for him. Do you need to be with this man? Could you not just leave him?

Wow, what a cock! The guy basically thinks he’s Johnny Depp and as a result is way out of your league. I’m going to assume he’s giving more current Depp than 90s Depp and isn’t anywhere near as good looking as he thinks. Saying something like that also makes it seem as though he’s doing you a favour being with you. He’s ridiculous and I don’t know why you’re with someone who thinks so little of you.

Don't worry, you wouldn't have to do all the digging alone. I'd pitch in for anyone on Mumsnet. Have own car and shovel.

I would dump

@Bananatoastie1 it reminds me very much of the thread on here where the OP and her husband had opened their marriage.

Both of them expected that she would not get a lot of action. But she did. And now he wants to close the relationship again.

Your partner is a fucking arrogant arse. I would have to drop little hints in irregularly about attention you've had from other men; compliments, doors opened, chats. Let your not dear-partner know he is totally replaceable. Remind him it's a lot harder for a woman NOT to get a man than it is to get one.

Possibly also drop in the male loneliness epidemic.

It smacks of a huge ego and entitlement issues.

May be time to rethink the relationship?

My feelings would be “right you bastard, I’ll sort you out”.

I wouldn’t immediately do anything, apart from withdraw from the relationship very, very slowly, weeks, months, longer, who knows. Then when I wanted to and when he’s least expecting it, I’d say “you remember when you said….? I’d now like you to fuck off out of my life, as I’ve now decided I’m done with you”.

Mind you, I’m a vindictive bastard who never forgets. Don’t get mad, get even, no matter how long it takes.

I don't think I could move past a comment like that. It would fester and I'd always know he thinks himself so much better than me.

There are two celebrity couples I can think of who some consider to be 'mismatched'. One is Pearce Brosnan and wife Keely Shaye Smith, and the other is Declan Rice and his GF Lauren Fryer. Both couples have been trolled and in both instances the man has come out publicly to defend their love for their woman. That is how a real man should behave, not telling his partner that he can see the viewpoint.

I’d think he was rude and had an over inflated view of himself. What a thing to say to your wife.

Time to leave him and let him find an updated version of a new partner closer to his « standards ». Hike your own bar up a notch. I’m sure you’re a lovely person who would blossom with a few compliments. Match attitude with action. Get rid.

He would be my ex husband/partner, that has happened to me in the past and I look back on it with ire and disdain. It’s a proper put down

Well it’s really offensive, he thinks he’s way better than you looking wise, and was telling you that when people look at you both they’d wonder why someone like him was with someone like you. So everyone would be offended.

totally insulted

What a horrible thing to say. What a horrible thing to think. I’ve been with my partner over 40 years: we have a great relationship and he would never say anything like that to me.

Throw this one back.

That’s awful. I do think that men need to feel like they’ve got a ‘catch’ to maintain interest and motivation in a relationship, must go back to the old hunter gatherer days 🙄. Sorry he was a dick, is he always like this?

I’d think it was the end of the relationship and I wouldn’t spend another minute with him.

Depends on how he meant it I think everyone has jump straight to thinking it’s about looks

but I’ve thought this about people because of there personality one life and sole and other wouldn’t say boo to a goose

more that there different not that ones better than the other