To be pissed off by husbands reaction

Groan, also known as pleas tell me your marriage is shit.

You sound like a massive drama queen to me, and my default reaction to people flapping and being dramatic over nothing is simply to stay completely impassive and let them deal with it rather than getting involved, so I think I'm with your husband here.

This is a bit of a strange post. The fire barely counts as a fire. I agree with the candle comparison the husband made earlier. I agree with others that the OP is being overly dramatic.

However, I sense undercurrents where OP is struggling with some task, in this case cooking dinner, while her DH is just sat with his thumbs up his arse, observing and being quietly, almost maliciously amused while deliberately withholding assistance.

I would like to hear more about the dynamics of your relationship OP? Because this anecdote has a tip of the iceberg what sank the Titanic about it.

The fire sounds like a bit of a non event but this is horrible unless your son also thinks it’s funny:
He will say every couple of months to our son that " he wish he never had kids" but oh he's joking...

I’m not sure I would call that a fire either. I’d just have smothered it and put it in the sink, then opened a window. This happens not infrequently in our house with paper, oven gloves, tea towels etc. I think he might be a bit over your dramatics. I have friends like this who can’t do anything calmly and quietly and I find it very wearing over longer periods.

I can’t comment on the thing about kids, but I do absolutely joke with mine that my favourite holiday was “all the ones I had before kids”, that a friend without kids is “a very sensible woman” and that I am going to move to a remote cabin to escape them all once the youngest turns 16. I am genuinely joking, and they know it though.

I'm also not sure why some women pride themselves on being so incapable in minor situations that they need a man to rescue them and take over.

Honestly, we've got enough men who consider women to be inferior and incapable and in need of 'protection'. We don't need women who seek to prove them right over a minor kitchen mishap.

There wasn't a fire.

My thoughts exactly.

Are you always this dramatic @Allthedays1 ?

Because this really was not a big deal - it’s parchment paper and the sink was close to you.

There wasn't 'a fire' though. A piece of baking paper had caught fire. That's completely different.

I set fire to a sausage once because I'd left it under the grill and forgot to turn it off.

I impressed my children by showing them how to put out a small fire using a damp tea towel (thanks Blue Peter!) But I also didn't consider us to have had a fire.

I suspect the husband's reaction was less to do with having checked out of family life (as someone suggested) and far more to do with having become bored of the dramatics.

What a lot of drama over much of nothing imo
I'm not a panicky person and have never shout 'fire! fire!' when I've caught a frying pan alight or grill pan burning grease off.
But I guess it would be a reaction for a lot of people. I'm just sangfroid about most things and thankfully not a lot fazes me.

What a lot of drama over much of nothing imo
I'm not a panicky person and have never shout 'fire! fire!' when I've caught a frying pan alight or grill pan burning grease off.
But I guess it would be a reaction for a lot of people. I'm just sangfroid about most things and thankfully not a lot fazes me.

If that happend to me I would just move it to the sink and turn the tap on. Wouldn't shout fire or even mention it to anyone.

I'm not saying this to be a dick but if you are generally a bit dramatic (as this post does suggest a bit) maybe your husband is a bit worn down with it?

I say this as someone who is married to a slightly dramatic person. I don't always turn round or react when he sighs or says "owwwww" loudly because it's usually such a minor thing. I know that probably makes me a dick but I'm busy and don't always have time to give him attention for tripping over a shoe

I think the fire is a red herring. It didn’t require a dramatic response. However, if he’s continually undermining you and you’re unhappy in the relationship, that’s obviously not ok.

The comments about wishing he didn't have kids are unacceptable

This! And if you are always this dramatic about minor things perhaps thats why he doesnt react. It would be exhausting

Waste of internet data.

You managed to cope by yourself what did you want him to do?

It doesn't sound like you needed assistance with the paper because all you had to do was put in the sink, so a bit dramatic but I can see how you felt a bit rejected maybe, at the lack of response.
I wouldn't be happy with my husband saying to the children that he wished he didn't have them that's an awful joke.

As in, the resident woman speaks, I tune her out.
I had this with a male I once had to share a home with for a short space of time.

It sounds like he was nice and cosy where he was and was confident you could handle it. And so he avoided doing anything. It sounds like the sound of you pottering about was too comforting and relaxing. Like a teenager leaving things to mom to handle because she always does!

Well there wasn’t a fire was there…

It doesn’t matter what the drama or lack thereof was. What matters is that you don’t like each other. Someone said upthread that it’s been going on for years. What are your options?

Why are you mad when you set the fire and you put it out.

I don’t think this is about the “fire” is it?

If he’s constantly undermining you, and even telling the kids “I wish I didn’t have kids” - his latest reaction has brought all your resentment up.