AIBU to think my employer cannot insist I cover old scars? *[content warning: mentions self-harm]

Doesn’t make them superior. We all cope in whatever way/s we can.

What is wrong with your reading comprehension? Introducing the concept to children, my arse. OP has said she isn't going to disclose the real reason for the scars ffs. You're just choosing to ignore that, as multiple others on the thread have, because it doesn't fit your narrow-minded narrative.

As to 'positives' of cutting oneself... again, not sure what's wrong with your reading comprehension because literally no one has said SH is a positive act per se. No one wants to find themselves in that degree of desperation. I've no personal experience of SH, but because I actually have a modicum of empathy and emotional intelligence I can understand that a person who finds themselves in that place is fucking desperate, and if they can manage to keep themselves alive, I'd have thought anyone with normal human emotions would agree that's a win and that the scars don't matter against the bigger picture - that the person has struggled and kept themselves alive.

But then again, clearly you regard anyone who's struggled in life as dirt beneath your feet, so I don't expect that to mean anything to you. I'm done now, not wasting any more time on your bigotry. I just hope you never find yourself battling with your own mental health, because you might just find you have to rethink your world view.

Fucking hell.

Do you think depression is self-inflicted, or addiction?

Because they aren't. They are illnesses that anyone of us can suffer from. Nobody chooses to be depressed, just like nobody chooses to get cancer.

Self harming is. It's in the title of the condition.

That was meant for @AlternateLook@AlternateLook.

And arguably, they might be. What is someone's a smoker or has an unhealthy lifestyle? So you look down on those people who have lung cancer from smoking but not from other cusses? If someone had an accident and had to have a leg amputated, would you look down on them for not being able to walk because it's self inflicted? How much time do you spend working out whether someone deserves your empathy or just looking down on from your golden perch?

You think mental health conditions are self inflicted?

Well Cancer isn't positive. Do you think less of people who's physical health wasn't enough to fight of cancer? Someone who's physical health wasn't robust enough to stave off MS? Someone who's neurological health wasn't robust enough to stop Dementia?

And no one is saying sit the 2 year olds down, teach them to self harm and make it fun. Op tells them she had an accident. Lots of parents would tel their kids to not ask such personal questions. SH can be explained in an age appropriate way at an appropriate age.

None of that means I need to look down my nose at someone with MH health struggles on tbe assumption that I'm so superior to them.

Tbere but for the grace of God and all that. You never actually know what life will bring.

Those conditions aren't self inflicted, though.

Plenty people have been through hell, they don’t necessarily have to have visibly branded their body to prove it.

Positives, it stopped me from killing myself until I got the right help (counselling and anti-depressants.)

Negatives, a couple of my cuts got infected, I've got scarring, and some people will hoik their judgy knickers and think less of me. As long as they keep their opinions to themselves I don't give a shit.

My mental fortitude is fine, thanks very much. I've gone through a lot in the past 22 years (since I was 15 and started SH) and I'm stronger for it.

The use of the phrase think less of them is pretty brutal, don't you think?

Depression and the kind of mental health problems that can lead to addiction or self-harm are illnesses.

Do you think less of people who have cancer for not being robust enough to not get ill in that way? Do you think people who have hairloss because of chemo should hide away because you don't want to talk about cancer with your 2 year old?

All true, but there's absolutely nothing whatsoever wrong with wanting to shield your young child from anything to do with self harming due to mental health issues. Absolutely nothing, or does that trump a child's well being?

@Satsuma55 So you think less of people who've had poor mental health? What other illnesses or conditions do you think less of people for having? And if you don't think less of people with other illnesses why is mental illness any different?

Quick run down of things that can trigger mental illness for those lacking in empathy. CSA, bereavement, physical illness, bullying, being sent to a war zone or living in one, DV, being raped, etc. Sometimes is just your brain not being wired properly (I know mine isn't!)

I was at school with a girl who suffered ME, she SH as well. I saw her scars once and felt nothing but the utmost of sympathy.

That doesn't answer the question. I find it interesting that you're trying so hard to weasel out of answering it. And don't put words in my mouth. I asked why you considered it a negative if someone's mental health was not robust, a completely different question to whether SH is 'normalised'.

I'll tell you one thing, though. I'd think more highly any day of someone who's clearly been through hell with their mental health but has managed to find the strength to survive, scars or no scars, than someone who quite happily admits to thinking MH struggles make a person 'less than'.

Good grief , is cutting yourself really this normalised in your neck of the woods? What IS positive about it?

And why is that a reason to think negatively of someone?

Anyway, in summation, it's not something I'd like a kid of mine knowing about at that young age. They don't need to know or even comprehend harrowing stuff like that at the age of 2 to 4.

No , you're absolutely right I would think less of them. I would think their mental health was not robust.

On the surface of it, no. But the tone of your posts on this thread leaves me to suspect that you'd think less of the person. If I'm wrong, feel free to correct me, though I can't promise I'll believe you.

I have explained what my judgment would be, countless times, ffs.

And you’re right of course that person once wasn’t sound of
mind.

Bir how wonderful that they’ve managed to get well again and be a positive member of society doing something valuable for the best generation.

No I didn’t. Let’s not read anything more into a sentence describing a behaviour than what it is - a sentence describing a behaviour.

as you rightfully pointed out - a behaviour that you yourself never stated you’d portray.

There’s no need or play the victim over someone’s words in a screen that aren’t assigned to you personally. It’s not a nice place to be.

You could however share what your judgement would be if you chose? Many others in here have openly admitted their negative feelings towards the OPs scars.