To insist on speaking to the parents if my son is staying over

37 replies

Twooclockrock · 27/05/2026 17:26

Aibu to insist on speaking to the parents when my 12 year old, nearly 13, sleeps over at someones house?
My son thinks this is unreasonable.
His friends often stay and their parents don't call me or text me.
I don't know the friend but apparently Jimbob goes to his school.
He has a tracker on his phone.
He is out on his bike and going atraight there and just mesaged to ask if he can stay at the friends. I said you can if you give me his actual address and a phone number of one of the parents.
Aibu to ask this??

OP posts:

DelphiniumBlue · 27/05/2026 18:25

Absolutely you need to know where he is spending the night, and you need to check with the parents that it's OK and that they know about this arrangement.
You don't want to be that person calling the police when your son is missing saying you don't know where he was or who he was staying with.

NeatJoker · 27/05/2026 18:05

i would say I need the address to drop off toothbrush etc. then pop in to say hello to parents, take some snacks for the kids.

agggtm · 27/05/2026 18:02

With dd I dropped off and met parents that way I wouldn’t have been comfortable with her going to someone house and I had no idea what it was like

3oldladiesstuckinalavatory · 27/05/2026 17:53

I would go one further - I always wanted to actually meet the parents before the first sleepover. After that, a quick text to confirm that it was actaully happening and that a parent would be physically in the house.

My kid had form for giving out a bogus number, which he himself replied to on adventures with his pals, so I got hip to all this pretty quickly.

Goldenbear · 27/05/2026 17:48

At 12 YANBU

Cuppaand2biscuits · 27/05/2026 17:45

Whenever my kids had sleepovers at home in year 7 or 8 I always invited the parents in so they could feel reassured we were normal and it was a nice clean house.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 27/05/2026 17:44

In this situation I'd want a confirmation from the parents. My dd made new friends in Year 9 and went to a few sleepovers where I'd never had any contact with the parents but I would drop her off so I knew where she was and obviously they were planned in advance.
This sounds a bit adhoc so I'd want to double check parents were OK with the last minute arrangement and I'd want to know exactly where he was in case of emergency.

JustAnUdea · 27/05/2026 17:40

If you dont know the parent then yes.

DDs have a few friends where im happy for them to make the arrangements now... but this is after a few sleepovers.

Arlanymor · 27/05/2026 17:38

Not remotely unreasonable. I always think of Breck Bednar - he was 14. It's really important to know where your children are staying overnight. A tracker won't keep anyone safe, it only indicates where a person was at a particular point in time.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 27/05/2026 17:38

Definitely yes. Even when calling casually to a new friend I will ask for the number and send a msg. Usually just to say hi and here is my number in case of emergency, that kind of thing.

Wallywonker72 · 27/05/2026 17:36

I’m pretty lax about this kind of thing (and have had my arse handed to me on here accordingly) but I would definitely want to know where and who a 12 yr old is staying with overnight. With phones, it’s so easy to get their number and send a quick text.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 27/05/2026 17:33

Yanbu imo, its just good parenting

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