to think it is acceptable to smack someone if they touch your body, even if they have dementia? Part 2

I would absolutely swat away the hand if I was inappropriately touched.

While I understand that the other person may have dementia or learning difficulties, my body remains my own regardless.

If I appear heartless, so be it.

Women have far too long been encouraged to be kind or think of others, to our own detriment.

It really is quite extraordinary!

Wow are we seriously saying its ok to hit people with dementia and learning difficulties? What about people with neurological conditions where they have involuntary body movements such as tics which mean they might accidentally touch/hit, is it ok to hit them back?!

I never cease to be amazed by attitudes towards disabled on mnet.

Is it ok that someone was touched inappropriately no? And they can absolutely be upset, hurt, feel aggrieved etc. But no we dont get to hit back or lash out. I can understand an impulsive shock reaction almost, but not saying you would do it again. And generally most adults with capacity can override that shock reaction.

As someone that works with children and young adults with learning difficulties, and has friends and family members with various conditions that can result in unwanted behaviour i can assure you the answer is NEVER hit them back or 'swot them away'.

There are ways of dealing with it, which vary depending on the behaviours and what could be causing them but lashing out at them is not the answer.

Obviously you might be shocked especially if its unexpected ie in public but if you choose to enter their home in this case, knowing the residents may have dementia or LD and therfore behave in unpredictable ways it should be something to be aware off. This doesnt mean you cant be upset by it, but its also not totally unexpected.

Anyway reading through, this is the 2nd thread on this subject, glad i missed the first. Its rather depressing to read such ignorant and harmful attitudes towards those with dementia, learning disabilities etc.

I find it incredible that this has happened to the OP on four different occasions and apparently involving a different resident each time.

It is exceptionally unusual.

I don’t see the problem here. Swatting a hand away isn’t exactly painful, it’s not like she’s punching them in the face. It might give them a slight shock but so it should! It’s the same as shooing a dog away from your food or a baby’s hand from a flame.

That's no excuse. If 'vulnerable' people behave in such ways they should be managed better by the staff to ensure it does not happen. Sorry but if a grown man is groping me they are going to know about it!

Non of my colleagues who between us have 70-80years experience working in this area have ever known a visitor to be assaulted in any way by a resident

You do realise that even with your all your colleagues with all that experience that you cannot encounter every situation ever right?

I worked yesterday at a care home and I discussed this thread with my colleagues who are nurses, carers, activities co ordinator,a GP that called in etc and the 100% consensus was that OP is 'is very unlucky ' to have been assaulted 4 times when visiting!!
Non of my colleagues who between us have 70-80years experience working in this area have ever known a visitor to be assaulted in any way by a resident!
We might have the odd feisty resident with Dementia but they are managed by the staff.
Edited to say that any visitor who touches a resident in a hostile manner would be told to leave immediately.

I hope you are nowhere near vulnerable people.

This is never acceptable and I would do the same. Why should we put up with that?

Those situations are not comparable. If you work professionally with disabled adults or children, you’re trained, supervised and prepared for behaviours that can happen in that setting. You’re in work mode, usually with support around you, policies in place and an understanding that managing challenging behaviour is part of the role.

A random visitor in a care home or member of the public isn’t operating in that environment. They may have their own history of assault or trauma and react instinctively if someone suddenly grabs intimate parts of their body such as myself. That’s very different from a trained professional knowingly entering a care role where physical behaviours are an understood occupational risk.

People also keep talking as though every reaction is a calculated “punishment” or deliberate assault on a vulnerable person, when it is a reflexive defensive response. Those are not the same thing.

This is never acceptable and I would do the same. Why should we put up with that?

Well then you’d be incorrect.
If I punched them in the face then you would have a point.

Hit.

Watch out everyone - visiting a nursing home is like getting out of your car for a stroll round the lions enclosure.