To not let DH go to this woman’s house?

Disagree. When someone is married to you, in a romantic and sexual sense they ARE your possession. Hence "my" husband/wife. You're supposed to forsake all others, so therefore they belong "only unto you" when it comes to that side of life. Each belongs to the other.

Sounds about right to me.
The ridiculous line of questioning just sounded like insecurity and madness; and now this says she doesn't trust him.
Overreaction all round.

Has he asked you or told you? If he’s asked you could say no but to “not allow” him smacks of control.
Why don’t you offer to take him there and wait while he has a hair cut? You could suggest you both go out for a meal afterwards while he is looking especially smart.

Same here.

A human being who is married and should know better!

Sort of agree.
Men are more likely to screw up an otherwise good marriage for a fling.
If a woman has a fling then there's no marriage left to mess up because it is already messed up for her to do it in the first place.

Like I said, if the genders were reversed here, I'd say to the dh that he may as well just leave. It's done. mate. Sorry.

It is not the same. Men behave badly in marriage MUCH more frequently than women do. They need to be on shorter leashes than women do, imho, and I don't care how sexist that sounds. It's reality. Not for all men, but for many.

There have been a few threads recently where husbands have started emotional affairs in plain sight and the wives thought they were being unreasonable questioning things that felt ‘off’ only to discover they unwittingly missed chances to prevent it developing. Trust your instincts!

I don’t think you are being unreasonable. You were likely picking up on something. Sounds like there was a level of familiarity with this woman that you didn’t expect and you could feel the connection. This led you to ask questions that you didn’t really want to know the answer to but you wanted him to reassure you. Instead it made your fears worse.

Sounds like she’s interested in him and has made an excuse to get him alone. You shouldn’t feel bad for saying it would make you uncomfortable. But ultimately you should leave it up to him to decide. If he decides to put someone else above your feelings then you know he’s not to be trusted.

Some posters have said that what if the genders were reversed? Well to be honest if they were reversed here I'd say that the dh should just accept it was done because for his wife to want to do this it's clear she's not interested any more.

BUT men are different: they can love their wives and still want a 'bit on the side' .

So they cheat and in every bloody instance I know of they've tried to make it up to their wives who. understandably, won't have it.
Then they go with the 'bit on the side' who thinks she's won.

They'll cheat because an OPPORTUNITY has presented itself.
I don't think that as a rule women do this.
Frankly, any woman who wants to go for that haircut has ALREADY checked out and the dh may as well just leave.

So it seems wise to me for women to nip it in the bud before an otherwise good marriage is ruined.

Disagree? Fine. This is aibu.

I think it’s rude that two of you criticised a grown man’s clothing. I think by the time a second person says something looks bad you realise you should take it off. You hurt his feelings so he hurt yours after with the attractive comments.

Suggest she comes to yours to do it so you can be there.

Married women who get a crush on someone - OMG, OMG , OMG, the guilt, call Dsis, call BFF, call the church !!!!

Married men when they get a crush on someone - DARVO, Deny Deny Deny, Yawn, nothing to look at here bro

There's also boundaries.

My first husband stated hanging around with a woman from work. I wasn’t chuffed and he said “but you did say I needed more friends!” They are now married with a daughter and I am also remarried. Simple things can turn bad quickly.

LTB OP....he should not have ran upstairs and changed his jacket when he did

I’m usually totally fine with opposite sex friendships but this is a total no go. He’s told you he’s attracted to her and he’d ask her out if he were single! No way!

I think if your spidey senses are tingling, you’re right to worry. I can tell when my partner is attracted to someone and I think he can tell when I’m attracted to someone too, but it rarely happens (for us) but it’s best to not facilitate a situation where he might be tempted. If he wants to cheat he will but don’t allow it to happen by being chill about this. It’s odd.

I would go to her house, offer to give her a fucking haircut and snatch her bald! Don't let people her shame you into ignoring your instincts. She can cut any mans hair.

And no one should ever be in a position of jealousy or insecurity in a marriage. People who value their marriages don't put themselves in potentially/compromising situations and they shut down comments and attention that could lead to that. Marriage, like any relationship a person cares about needs to be nurtured and protected. It's not "one and done." If not tended to it will unravel.

I am not a jealous person and I would not like this either OP- she sounds pretty brazen and obvious about liking your husband. And he sounds like his head is being turned

She's cheeky because he has given her the green light. He has communicated, by hanging on her words, that she matters and that she can ignore the wife.

Find a gorgeous guy who is opening a bikini waxing salon ... and needs to practice.