To not let DH go to this woman’s house?

I’d be sending a DM not to message my husband again!

This. This needs to be on a poster. This is how you don’t cheat. All this nonsense when cheating ‘just happens’.

I’d say trust your instincts here. She was pushing it giving your husband fashion advice - have they spoke about his dress sense previously? It sounds like they have. She’s overstepping and too familiar.

I’m not saying just because she’s single she’d flirt or try it on with your DH but she might. If he finds her attractive though then she may well find him attractive too.

You've gone into some kind of weird fantasy there.

Very odd

Rubbing her fingers on his head … he thinks she’s attractive, her opinion matters over yours (jacket). He wants to go to her home. She can’t cut hair but wants to cut his hair. Perhaps she can shave his legs and other areas whilst he takes his clothes off and tries on clothes she has bought him.

Alone at her house after he'd confessed he found her attractive and would ask her out if he wasn't with you? Let's not leave out the context here.

I'm getting really fed up with people online taking some innocuous expression and making out that they're soooooo shocked by it in an attempt to make the PP look bad. 🤣 You're not fooling anyone!

You got that I didn't mean a physical leash, yes?

Anyway, it's true. Married women are far more subject to various kinds of abuse than married men are. And men are just generally worse partners in far greater numbers than women are. Not only that, they don't want to learn how to be better partners.

Many men need a lot of training and reinforcement to be good partners.

In fact, a new relationship is a great time to get a new puppy. You can train them together! 🤭🤣🤣 Probably can't put an actual collar and leash on the partner though, which is a great pity.

You can Air Tag him though. 😈

My partner has thick, curly hair and a colleague who is retraining as a hairdresser asked if she could cut it, as it’s good practice. She’s done it 3-4 times and it takes a couple of hours. I never thought anything of it! Chances are, this woman has zero feelings for your husband and just wants to cut his hair as he has a good type of hair to practice with. You kind of forced him to say she’s attractive, but that doesn’t mean he will cheat. Lots of people are attractive. I’d honestly ‘let’ him go and trust him. If you can’t trust him, the issue is with him/your relationship and not her or whether or not she cuts his hair.

But why make it easy for them while they're doing it?

You're right, he doesn't need OP's permission, but OP absolutely can tell him not to bothering coming home if he does go.

A big part of being a sensible adult is knowing what is and isn't acceptable in your relationships, without being told. However, sometimes people need it spelt out when it looks like they might do something that is going to tear their family apart.

Assuming he is not already having an affair with this woman, it doesn't do any harm if OP makes it clear what the consequences will be if he does visit this woman on his own. Hopefully, it will concentrate his mind on what is important, before he does something he will regret.

Not a great idea!

She could bring her scissors to your home no need for her to go alone to hers

Surely if he was planning or thought anything was going to happen with this woman he wouldn’t be ‘asking’ you if he could go, he’d have just lied?

Being honest though, I don’t think I’d be happy with this, but my husband is quite selfish so I’d be wondering why he was going out of his way to help someone.
If it was the other way around, I don’t he’d be too impressed.

Not necessarily- some women regard it as a challenge!

But you expect the other person to be committed to your relationship and not act inappropriately!

Do this!

I could probably count on one hand the number of times a woman has "made a move" on me, so to speak.

And I'm single, so that number is going to be far, far lower for married men (obviously women are going to find single men more attractive because they are available).

You are being controlling same as a man trying it

You don't own another person

Uh oh. A few years ago, a friend bought a new summer dress. She came into the room to show it off to me, her husband and his best mate. Her hubby said he LOVED the dress and it made her look so pretty. The best mate said "god no, its kind of frumpy." She went off to change it and looked like she had been crying when she came back. The next day, she took the dress back. A few months later, she left her husband for his best friend and I can't say I was that surprised.

I would nip this in the bud, if it isn't already too late.

Even if you believe that, you still cannot force someone not to cheat.

But a “shorter leash” to go with that metaphor will simply snap if you try to tighten it.

If a man wants to cheat he will find a way. No amount of “nipping in the bud” or shortening of the leash or reading of the riot act will stop that. It will just create friction, make you paranoid and lose your dignity.

There is only one solution to a cheating spouse and that’s to leave (or make him leave).

Surely you’re not that naive!

Men in shorter leashes. What an absolutely dreadful thing to say. I sometimes wonder if women on these threads know what equality, trust and mutual respect in a marriage actually mean.

@Fellohesh These threads always confuse me because there seems to be a narrative that women randomly try to pull married men away from their wives.

Surely everyone on mumsnet knows that this very rarely happens in reality?

As a single man, I can tell you that there are women who act friendly, but that doesn't mean they're attracted to me. There are virtually no women who would go after me, or any of the other single men I know. So I imagine with married men, there would be even fewer women going after those men.

All this woman has done really is offered to cut his hair. I've had my hair cut by women too.

Oh, brilliant! I LOVE this! 🤣🤣🤣🤭